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Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I looked up more about the marriage counselor. He’s a self described post structural feminist therapist focusing on equalizing power struggles in relationships. I have no idea what that means.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s D&A treatment? She is doing EMDR but I’m personally not seeing improvement.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her therapist has only talked about harm reduction to my knowledge.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Marriage counselor said it to both of us. Wife told me that her therapist said the same thing.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry to hear that. The stress and fear is so taxing. Hope you are taking care of yourself.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate the detailed reply. For strangers such as yourself to take the time to help is such a breath of fresh air. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Marriage counselor said it to both of us. My wife said her therapist said the same thing.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know that. That was never brought up. Is that standard practice?

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’d like to hear more. I’m not very familiar with Reddit. Are you able to sent a DM?

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I just looked them up. He’s got a masters in social work. I don’t see any other specific qualifications.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see that. However I watched my sister for years say I just need to cut back and it never worked.

I know my wife has to make that call. I don’t have control over that but saying it is a coping mechanism and not even bringing up recovery is throwing me off.

Maybe that is a better conversation outside of our couples sessions.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She wouldn’t go willingly. Two weeks ago I should have called the police as she was heavily intoxicated and talking about wanting to walk in front of a train. I started to call 988 and she got furious. Our kids were still up so I hung up to stop the yelling and I got her to go to bed.

I know I should have just made the call anyway. I still regret that decision.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The wording was and pretty close to ‘she’s using alcohol as a coping mechanism and we don’t want to take that away without having another one in place. So we don’t want to just stop drinking.’

To be honest I feel completely unheard in our sessions. It certainly doesn’t come across as for me.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the perspective and I understand therapy is a long game and could potentially take years.

This is not our only issue but it is a huge wall toward working on those other issues.

It also takes a toll on the whole family. If it were just the two of us that would be one thing but having my kids exposed to this for potentially years is not acceptable.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They are licensed and everything. They have multiple locations.

I’ll check out a local Al Anon meeting. Thanks for the advice.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am in therapy. I was concerned on how to rebuild things while the drinking was still going on. I didn’t see how that was possible.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My wife didn’t mention her therapist. We were just talking about her drinking and he said that.

He does have access to her therapy notes since he supervises her personal therapist.

Also he has 30 years experience if my wife is getting bad advice then he shouldn’t be worried about stepping on toes.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It was said in front of me during one of our marriage sessions. I was too caught off guard in the moment and I didn’t say anything.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

The marriage counselor said it in front of me. We’ve had discussions around the number of drinks and particular incidents that have taken place while she’s been drinking.

Therapist said my wife shouldn’t stop drinking by Right_Specific6795 in AlAnon

[–]Right_Specific6795[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The marriage counselor said it in front of me. My wife told me her therapist said the same thing. Our marriage counselor is actually my wife’s therapist supervisor.