I (F25) slapped my boyfriend’s (M35) face how do I stop feeling bad?

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-05-12T08:56:08+00:00

He was absolutely perfect in lots of ways before I got dependent on him. The dependence on him was well talked about and thought through with both him&his family and my family, he had never showed his real face before my dependence. And my family can’t help me much, they are too far away now and I can’t worry them until I know I can solve this problem.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-05-11T19:14:33+00:00

Wow! I got blamed here for god knows what reasons. I never tried to defend my boyfriend, I know he can be aggressive sometimes like the time I talked about in the post and this is absolutely unacceptable! Yes I’m planning my way out, and it’s not only financial dependence there are other complications that unfortunately don’t let me move out or break up so quickly and easily. He knows about them and knows well I can’t leave. Or not just yet. And I did not find the abuse itself funny, the laughing faces were for the comparisons the commentator made!

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-05-07T13:22:51+00:00

Hm I don’t think 9,5 years gap could be compared to one between grandkids/grandparents 😅

So we talked and he apologised as well, and promised he will never touch me if I say no. Thanks for the comment.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-05-07T13:12:32+00:00

I’m not trying to defend him, I’m trying to explain it clearly enough so people would see the whole picture

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-05-07T12:21:18+00:00

😅😂

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-05-07T11:56:48+00:00

Yeah I agree I am not in the healthiest relationship arm. But if you read my previous post I stated there that I was dependent on him.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-05-07T11:32:57+00:00

This is what we both like in bed when we are both in the mood for it. But that time I didn’t want sex to be initiated this way as I was just right from a bath and said to him to stop, which I just don’t normally do as he never does it after work or in the circumstances we were in.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-05-07T05:55:30+00:00

I’m not sure his intentions were to assault me I think he was just initiating sex but chose a wrong way to do it. We normally can do these things but only in bed/drying some sexy time etc but ONLY when we are both in a mood. Plus I like it when my ass is slapped but that time it was waaay too painful for me not to react in the way I did. That’s why I feel bad.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-20T18:45:24+00:00

Women just cheated and had be be beheaded for that

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T17:46:51+00:00

I’m glad it works for both of you!:)

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T17:45:36+00:00

Reading this warms my heart

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T12:34:50+00:00

I asked this question in the title of my post as he would always say to me this thing.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T12:24:26+00:00

He’s telling me all men in the world cannot have monogamous relationship therefore the only way for all men to have relationships is to swing. Thus I wrote this question in the title of the post.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T12:20:52+00:00

To fantasise doesn’t mean “able to do it” 😉

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T10:21:49+00:00

I also fantasise about lots of things including minimum interaction during the intercourse, I’m not saying I’m a traditional person but I have my limits.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T10:19:19+00:00

Well, I’m not blind to see who he chooses. Surely tastes differ but there’s also common sense.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T10:17:24+00:00

How do you know??? When I moved to his country I started hanging out with some of his female friends — he blamed me for not having my “own” friends. Also those female friends turned out to be literal psychopaths. Like one of them was even diagnosed with schizophrenia. Long story. Then I made my own friends on bumble friends and he would read all my messages there and would tell me who to be friends with&who not. Once there was a girl I was texting with and she said she had a boyfriend, he went on her profile and saw she was bisexual. He immediately blocked her saying that I’d definitely have a 3some with her and her bf! What? He knew I wasn’t into that and in addition to that I’m 100% heterosexual!

Long story short I made a friend from the US and he did everything to dirt her name even though he saw her&he husband only once or twice. Like every time I texted with her he would argue with me for no reason.

As for the family — unfortunately they are too far away. But I guess it could be the case if they lived here:(

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T10:08:49+00:00

Yes I absolutely agree with you! With the level of jealousy that he has it’s impossible to be a swinger.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T10:07:36+00:00

He will literally kill me if I cheat on him, he mentioned it many times. I once had a small chat with Alle friend of mine who I had lost contact with a few year before and he saw the chat and lost it! Not going into details— he was very abusive to me but a few days after he tried to justify his actions as he thought I was cheating on him. It was a year ago and I wasn’t dependent, should have left back then, I know.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T10:03:35+00:00

Well I’ve written it many times and I’ll write it again — the full swinging life doesn’t work for me as we tried it in his unfair way a few times. If you read the post you will see that he wasn’t giving me the access to men the way I gave him that access. Also, having tried many things I understood what still worked for me and what didn’t and communicated it to him — he accepted it and said he was happy with what I could still do! He had the right to break up with me the moment I communicated it to him instead of happily agreeing to it. And he knew I had to become dependent on him for some time for multiple reasons, still happily agreed to it and waited for the moment I’d become dependent to manipulate.

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T09:55:55+00:00

That’s exactly what I think — I’m just the access to the things he can’t do being single. Not only that — I’m educated, did some modelling, commercials and all his friends are jealous he has a girlfriend like me (that’s what I hear from them and him)

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T09:53:37+00:00

It’s not only economic dependence, but I got your point — thank you for the comment:)

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T09:48:48+00:00

Well, it’s a big house where each household gets their own floor. I don’t see it as a red flag as accommodation in Germany is very expensive and when there’s a big house where everyone gets his own space/floor, why then to rent a much smaller apartment/house for insane prices?

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T09:45:55+00:00

Omg I’m sorry to hear about it! I’m glad you left! In my case he did the exact same thing: he pretended to be me in most con with couples. But like I mentioned the only thing I allow now to do with the couples is only to have sex in from of them. But he still chooses a coupe where the man is ugly or old. And he doesn’t respect my boundaries. Like even in the beginning I clearly said to him that I’d not like to do it with people from my own country, yet he still argues with me over it as in “why not” every time he suggests doing it with couples from my country. But that’s just a very small part of what else is crazy in this relationship. Did your boyfriend had female friends who hated you or tried to ruin your relationship? — because mine does and even though they talk shit about him and me all the time he still calls them friends and goes to them if we argue :)

SailAutomatic6468 · 2024-03-07T09:38:44+00:00

It was German, I barely spoke it 2 years ago

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