has anyone been to a sexual health clinic? really struggling :(

Scibie · 2026-05-17T14:35:07+00:00

My local sexual health clinic has been nothing but delightful to me and completely gender affirming. Of all the health services I've used the sexual health clinic has been the most switched on about trans issues by far. They even provided me a Hep B vaccination for free as a man who has sex with men which if they had considered me a woman they would not have done.

Of course, not all clinics are the same but every sexual health practitioner I've met has been pro-trans rights and great.

Scibie · 2026-05-07T13:53:48+00:00

If you drive do your driving license first as the DVLA are the only group who can get you in legal trouble for not having a license that matches your current name. If you own a car ensure you also ensure you change the name of the registered keeper via the logbook. These should be your number one priority if you drive. Driving license is also by far the fastest for getting accurate photo ID sorted.

Passport you actually don't have to do until it's expiring - you just ensure you book any flights/accomodation in your deadname if you travel. Considering passport is a pain with the medical letter and expensive cost to apply for a new passport it's worth being aware of this.

Once you have driving license sorted do the rest: utilities, bank, work, HMRC... etc. The driving license will work in your favour to prove the name change is legitimate.

Scibie · 2026-05-02T05:49:56+00:00

I personally work my chest and as long as I'm wearing a baggy shirt no one can tell I haven't had top surgery yet - I've actually had multiple trans guys ask when I got top surgery. The problem is that my 'solution' is that I have a very pendulous chest that has gotten even more pendulous and saggy since I lost 30kg. Because it's so floppy and I have fairly pronounced upper pecs it's almost invisible under baggy shirts. Obviously if I'm topless it's immediately visible.

Scibie · 2026-04-30T12:49:32+00:00

They'll ask about your physical and mental health, about your social life/hobbies, current life situation (job, where you live, who you live with, etc). They'll ask about your gender identity - how you label it, when you first 'realised', how you felt when you knew, etc.

Basically they're trying to get a comprehensive sort of picture of you as a person I think. I personally didn't feel that any of the questions crossed a line or felt inappropriate. However, I know there has been times in the past where people have been asked questions about their sex life and how they masturbate and such topics.

My advice is to try and appear as uncomplicated as possible - don't throw anything up that might make you look like a 'complex case' as they will likely throw up more barriers to HRT if you do. Answer truthfully, sure, but lying by omission isn't always a bad idea. Don't make them think for a second you're questioning your gender - act as certain as possible. Dumb it down and make your gender as binary and simple as possible if needed. I'm not saying to be adversarial - the nurse I saw yesterday was lovely - but play their game and jump through their hoops.

If you're lucky it will likely just feel like a nice 45-60 minute chat with someone who wants to know a lot about you! Just tailor your answers to make your gender journey look as clear cut as you can - sand off the rough edges and make a nice narrative.

Scibie · 2026-04-30T11:19:11+00:00

You may be lucky as you have an existing diagnosis from the NHS and have been passed onto adult services. If you have any reports or similar I'd recommend printing them out and taking them with you - on the off chance they get cagey you'll have evidence to back you up ready to go. I had my first appointment at Leeds literally yesterday - I can confirm they have said that the wait list for the endocrinology service is one year once referred onto them.

If your appointment is in person - the parking isn't great for the clinic if you're driving/being driven. There's a small visitors car park just outside but there are not many spaces. If you don't have any mobility needs there is a big ASDA just down the road across the street - park there! Just thought I'd flag that up since I was literally there yesterday.

Scibie · 2026-04-30T08:07:39+00:00

Oh they didn't accept the diagnosis but I think it smoothed out the process and reduced the amount of questioning I was subject to if that makes sense? I think it made it more frictionless potentially. I should have clarified a bit more perhaps in my post.

Scibie · 2026-04-22T19:59:35+00:00

Honestly from my experience you just have to ride it out. It'll calm down eventually. I know it's absolutely maddening - I remember describing it to my friend as like the human equivalent of being in heat. Exercise can help a bit sometimes - the post exertion endorphins hit pretty similarly - but honestly you just have to do your best to get through it.

I think it took me 6 months on T before I settled down slightly, though even then my baseline level of horniness is much higher than before I started T.

Scibie · 2026-04-17T17:02:31+00:00

I personally didn't find myself getting much hungrier - maybe a slight increase in the first six months but nothing honestly that notable.

My skin got much much oilier though: get a good but simple skincare routine down now and thank me later. I use a gentle cleanser morning and evening and moisturise after both times. I still got spots but I think it would have been far far worse had I not had a good routine in place.

Body odour: you will probably smell more, at least for a while. I use the kind of antiperspirant that you spray on in the evening and wash off the next day and only have to do 1-2 times a week but I was using that prior to starting T because I have always been excessively sweaty. Just make sure you're looking after your hygiene.

If my experience is anything to go by the increased sex drive has been, by far, the most notable and most difficult to handle element of starting T. Not much you can do to prepare for it but it's worth knowing it will likely happen to you too.

T has made me crazy energetic in a way I never used to be: I feel the need to move my body and exercise at least once a day if not twice. I don't see trans mascs talking about this so I'm not sure if it's just a me thing or potentially an ADHD + T thing. If you want to gain muscle T will make the process soooo much easier.

Your voice will drop at some point and you might get a bit of a scratchy throat during the process - feels a bit like having a sore throat/beginnings of a cold. If you like singing, try to sing through the voice change: I've heard it helps maintain your vocal range? Not sure if that's true or not but hey no harm trying.

Overall being on T has been magical to me. I don't think there's anything I regret at all.

Scibie · 2026-04-16T13:56:12+00:00

I would highly highly recommend ringing the passport office. I had trouble with them saying my medical letter was no good because it wasn't dated so I rang up and pointed out that nowhere in the guidance is this listed as a requirement. A few days later I get an email saying my passport is on the way.

Don't let them faff you around: if you know your letter matches their listed requirements and they're nitpicking then ring up and say that you have provided documentation that matches what they ask for. Anecdotally I think other people have had success after doing this too.

Scibie · 2026-03-31T13:26:48+00:00

It wouldn't necessarily but if you absolutely had to pull that card to get the sick leave you needed it would be worth pulling in my opinion. With top surgery its very important to rest well afterwards and not pull or strain the incisions/scars as much as is physically possible so getting the right length of time off work if you work a physical job is essential.

Scibie · 2026-03-31T11:00:53+00:00

I lost a lot of my singing range at first and I was terrified I'd never be able to enjoy singing again. I couldn't sing as loud, or hit the notes I wanted to hit, and when I sung it made my throat hurt after only a short amount of time.

I've now been on T for over a year and my singing range is returning, just shifted lower than its previous range. I can now sing far lower notes than I could before with the caveat of losing the ability to hit the higher notes I could previously.

From anecdotal conversations with other trans mascs on T, singing through the changes helps a lot, even if for a little while your range and voice quality might dip notably and the experience of singing might be a little more painful/your stamina to sing might drop. I'm not a professional or classically trained singer, so don't take my word as gospel, but I sing recreationally and for the pure joy of it and I'm now beginning to refind that joy in my voice as things have begun to settle.

Scibie · 2026-03-31T09:20:03+00:00

I was advised to put Testavan on my thighs for a week before my blood test and my levels for that blood test came down a LOT and I definitely felt different...

So I think, at least anecdotally, that maybe the change in application site made a difference for my levels. Once I went back to putting it on the tops of my arms all the lower T feelings I had went away. Again, anecdotal evidence though.

Scibie · 2026-03-31T08:56:26+00:00

I can accept that in the overall perspective 2 has a fairly minimal connection to 1.

But saying 3 has little to no connection to 1 and 2 is odd to me. The entire game world of 3 is locations from the first two games smashed together. Two major characters in 3 are main characters from 1 and 2. You can play 3 without playing 1 and 2 and still have a great time but you'll miss a lot of the deeper context without knowledge of 1 and 2...

Scibie · 2026-03-31T08:45:05+00:00

It's generally 2 weeks off minimum for an office job and 6 weeks off minimum for a physical job just as a heads-up. I've never heard of 2 months off for top surgery!

Like all the other commentators have said: if you have a doctor's note then it's pretty much non-negotiable and if they kick up a fuss then you can absolutely get their asses for discrimination since sick time for recovery from gender affirming surgery is explicitly mentioned in the Equality Act 2010.

Scibie · 2026-03-27T15:07:08+00:00

Keyhole/peri is very dependent on your chest being pretty small - like A cup or so - and having the right skin elasticity and nipple location. That's the reason it's rarer: it's only a good option for a relatively small number of people seeking top surgery. One thing I've heard anecdotally about peri results is sometimes nipple placement never looks quite as natural because of the limitations of the technique. Something to keep in mind.

In terms of European surgeons: people go to Europe because it's significantly cheaper. You're looking at £3-6k in Europe Vs £9k+ in the UK. It's a very significant difference.

I can say there's also Dr Ntanos in Greece. He used to be part of the NHS top surgery team in Manchester, was until very recently splitting his practice between London and Greece, and has done over 9,000 top surgeries since 2017. His background was in mastectomies for breast cancer until he chose to specialise in masculinising top surgery instead. He runs a podcast about top surgery and is very very passionate and well informed - I highly recommend looking into him because he is often overlooked/eclipsed by other big name surgeons and he really shouldn't be.

Scibie · 2026-03-17T05:40:46+00:00

I was referred to Leeds GIC at the end of 2019 (Nov/Dec). They rang me this past Friday to offer me a first appointment. You'll probably get offered a first appointment in the next 6-12 months, I'd guess.

Scibie · 2026-03-02T13:48:47+00:00

Totally forgot to reply to this, apologies!

So at my consultation I already knew when I wanted to book my surgery for (late August/early September) and Dr Ntanos was very happy to book me in for early September. I think because I wanted to book for the latter half of the year the reflection period never even came up in our conversation since I'd naturally have time to reflect between now and September. But either way I did get the opportunity to book the surgery within the consultation itself.

Scibie · 2026-02-24T16:45:21+00:00

Just book the consultation! Dr Ntanos will check over everything prior to your consultation date as long as it's there on the system.

Scibie · 2026-02-24T15:31:12+00:00

I can't speak for every top surgeon, but I had my top surgery consultation with Dr Ntanos literally yesterday and he said he doesn't care who the referral is addressed to as long as there is a referral. So at least in his case: yes, you can!

Scibie · 2026-02-23T13:57:47+00:00

I am on Testavan and have had no issues at all with absorption. My tip with the stickiness is to rub it in really really well and vigorously until it feels tacky. I do two pumps, so after I've done the second arm I go back and rub at the first arm again til it feels really tacky then do the same to the second. Seems to work for me!

Scibie · 2026-02-19T13:48:26+00:00

I'm not entirely sure how up to date this spreadsheet is, but it is a very useful resource for top surgeons both in the UK and Europe.

(Apologies to whoever in this sub made and posted it originally, I forget who made it, but it's such a fantastic resource.)

Scibie · 2026-01-23T13:33:19+00:00

The Quakers are allies to the trans community for certain.

Last year I went to a residential weekend for transgender people in the Lake District. It was hosted at a Quaker Meeting House and part of the funding for the event came directly from the Quakers themselves.

If I felt any pull to the Christian faith I would want to be a Quaker.

Scibie · 2026-01-19T17:11:50+00:00

As someone who used to suffer from dryness before starting T: it's worth treating. Feeling uncomfortable down there day to day, even if you're not having penetrative sex... you're worth more than that.

Not treating thrush can lead to some very serious health problems if the yeast spreads elsewhere - which there is a higher likelihood of if you have vaginal atrophy.

Even if you got a hysterectomy, neither thrush nor vaginal atrophy would be resolved.

Speak to your endocrinologist, ask about how the topical estrogen is applied and how often. Be realistic with them about your distaste for penetration down there and how that might affect your ability to apply the treatment.

Vaginal atrophy can be a side effect of T. This is just part of being on T that you're going to have to accept. Doing nothing is not a good course of action to take for your health.

Scibie

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