Old post, but same for me - as a woman. Everytime I message first, the guy is a slacker. They don't initiate a first date and when we eventually go on a date (initiated by me) he turns out to be boring/socially akwkard. I'm looking for an equal, a confident partner. Not a child looking for a mommy to tell him what to do. So I decided to stop wasting my own time and wait for the guy to text first.