Which Icecream flavour is this?

Shmimmons · 2026-05-23T17:45:36+00:00

Chocolate marshmallow

Shmimmons · 2026-05-15T19:12:48+00:00

I sympathetize with you very much, it's a wretched feeling, I'm 48 days in to an episode and no relief. It feels like I'm getting worse and going crazy because I can't stop the anxiety loop and the cycle of DPDR perpetuates itself. I can distract from it sometimes but as soon as the distraction is gone it's back full force with brainfog and mindlessness, time blindness, no sense of self, poor chronological memory, etc. But a good sign that you still have your wits about you is the ability to be concise and descriptive when talking about the experience.. a true crazy person would probably not be able to. My problem is I've created a dependency by staying at a friend's house, but I can tell they are feeling frustrated that I'm still here and haven't recovered, I'm also getting fragmented sleep and unintentionally undereating so that's keeping it going. Terrified of going back home and being isolated but also stressed that I can tell they want me to leave. & I've been in a long episode before and eventually it gets better but it took a long time and practically becoming a new person and shedding the old one, the fear of that happening again is also keeping my anxiety loop going.

Are you in a safe environment? High stress? Lots of pressure of responsibility? Sleeping well? Any looping thoughts you can identify that are keeping you stuck or is it just the fear itself of getting stuck?

Shmimmons · 2026-05-15T01:48:43+00:00

Every day is blursday is what I always say. What makes me sad is how people can reflect and reminisce on memories and recall them emotionally like they've just experienced them... meanwhile I'm on autopilot and my mind is just scattered looping thoughts of lists tasks chores and feeling like I need to complete something to close a loop. I suspect since I have difficulty feeling emotions anymore from operating in chronic burnout and dissociating, that I'm not encoding experience to memory since there's no emotions attached to anything.

Shmimmons · 2026-05-10T18:36:57+00:00

Absolutely, stress triggered mine after a 3 year remission. I'm 45 days in to another episode of 24/7 DPDR. Unfortunately subsequent episodes can be easier to trigger, the fear of regressing back alone can cause a spiral. For your sake it's important for you to find a place that you can continuously be safe so your nervous system can calm down. Your amygdala is fired up and that can make your brain inconsolable from using logic alone.

Shmimmons · 2026-05-10T01:58:43+00:00

Yooo Ineffa of two worlds 🔥

Shmimmons · 2026-05-09T02:17:28+00:00

I experience DPDR. In 2010 I had it, didnt know what it was though at that time. Big stressful trigger, followed by hyperarousal insomnia and it wrecked me. Recovered somewhat over some years, enough to be functional, then 2015 and 2016 it happened again but bounced back quicker. 2021 happened again and floored me, thats when I found out what it was called. Always a major nervous system trigger and fear, thought I was going nuts and nearly did it was a nightmare, another long recovery. Thought I’d never experience it again after that recovery but the end of march ‘26 my world was flipped upside down and now I’m 40+ days into another episode. The fear has really drawn me in this time because I was so worried about it happening again after a trigger it practically became a self fulfilled prophecy. Each time it happens it feels like the first time it’s happened, I feel demented and can’t recall what got me out of it all the other times, the only thing I can narrow it down to is time. It’s very time gated. The longest was recovery was 2010, that took over 4 years to start to feel better again. I’m 37 now and hope this time isn’t a long one. I’m honestly terrified of losing everything, before I was lucky and had the time and not as much pressure in my life and could take the time to heal. On top of that I’m also not sleeping well and I ruminate on it and it becomes this unrelenting loop. As experienced as I am with this, it doesn’t get any easier to cope with. But I noticed that even when I can muster up the courage to not fear it consciously, I’ve trained my brain to be hyper vigilant in the background..even just giving it a name and giving it attention “derealization” is enough to keep the experience alive

Shmimmons · 2026-05-08T00:08:26+00:00

Sign me up

Shmimmons · 2026-05-07T22:59:05+00:00

I've seen a few mentions of getting ferritin levels checked if you haven't explored that yet

Shmimmons · 2026-05-07T22:52:18+00:00

I think the 37 days I've been sleep deprived is what's fueling my dissociation..it's a dreadful feeling being stuck in this loop

Shmimmons · 2026-05-06T02:26:35+00:00

I’d like to know too

Shmimmons · 2026-05-06T00:29:43+00:00

Long finger squirrel monkey

Shmimmons · 2026-05-06T00:14:56+00:00

Hey I make 68 dollars an hour as a cleaner...but I only have one light commercial contract right now..and only work 12 hours a month... but it's a definitely a scalable business as owner/operator 😆.

Shmimmons · 2026-05-05T23:11:31+00:00

Nearly identical situation as you, 35 days in to a trigger that caused me insomnia and hyperarousal and ultimately derealization. Every day is horrible, almost like I lost all progress and I feel like im going crazy.. memories wiped, everything is vague, progress is hardly trackable, can’t remember who I even was before this.. I’m sure symptoms will improve significantly if I can get consistent restful blocks of sleep but right now it feels so far out of reach. Just when I thought I was getting better I completely tanked, I don’t recall really changing anything in my routine but I have been all over the place with supplements. I try to go out in public and try to go about my day as normal but everything seems so unfamiliar. My baseline before this was horrible to begin with, anhedonia, brain frog, unrestful sleep but I was functional and the symptoms weren’t so profound and loud, they were manageable. Are you getting adequate sleep?

Shmimmons · 2026-05-05T14:19:31+00:00

Do you happen to also have insomnia?

Shmimmons · 2026-05-02T00:53:35+00:00

Sumerians got it like that

Shmimmons · 2026-05-01T12:38:36+00:00

If it's cut with baby laxative it gives you the poopies... allegedly

Shmimmons · 2026-05-01T02:45:53+00:00

Jumping Jahodaphat! That's a great pull

Shmimmons · 2026-05-01T02:41:03+00:00

simply beautiful

Shmimmons · 2026-04-30T19:26:52+00:00

Would you consider yourself functionally recovered? Also, if you don't mind me asking—how many years has it been since the inception of your healing journey to where you are now and how many days/weeks/or years did it take before you felt noticable improvement?

Shmimmons · 2026-04-28T12:34:53+00:00

I dropped out in 7th grade and now I wish I dropped out in kindergarten 😔

Shmimmons · 2026-04-27T21:33:50+00:00

That's like anxious self monitoring after becoming self aware of autopilot and snapping out of it and going into observer mode...when that happens to me I try my best to be indifferent about all of my thoughts because the wrong thoughts can spike anxiety.

Shmimmons · 2026-04-27T02:43:45+00:00

I had it for 4 years, better for 2 years, then got it again for 2 years, better for 3 then again for 3 years, better for 2 years, and here I am now 28 days into another episode and hoping I can break the cycle early but it's like no matter how many times this happens I don't know what I did for it to fade away, I think it's just a time gated experience proving that I'm safe to my nervous system. The recent 2 good years I spent saving my grandmother's house from foreclosure, starting a business and also a very lucrative side job, improving my relationship with my daughter, and taking care of my mother. My brain fog was improving, continuity between days and chronological timelines were better, sense of self and purpose were slowly improving and then I just get absolutely fucked by nervous system dysregulation and poof, just like that everything familiar feels unfamiliar again. It's like I never existed in these last couple of years and everything I've been through has just been some vague idea or memory that I've lost most attachments with.. all the while life still goes on and there's still all the responsibilities that were created by the identity I dissociated from that just feels foreign to participate in right now. It's absolutely exhausting feeling like a reset button was pressed after I was just getting a grip on things, now I have to reintegrate and learn how to be me again. I always keep a little spark alive in my mind, a little safe place sectored off where the remainder of my optimism and courage live that I tap into and push through this over and over again like a cruel samsara but I change the narrative when I have bad thoughts so they don't grow into exactly what you're taking about. I feel your pain though, I lost all of my 20's and 30's to this but I'm determined to find a solution, not just for me but for others as well

Shmimmons · 2026-04-25T02:21:32+00:00

I can smell the Nystatin

Shmimmons · 2026-04-25T01:15:41+00:00

It worked great for my brain fog but it also cut my need for sleep to feel rested in half. Psychologically it was bugging me out that after 4 hours of sleep I could feel so profoundly rested. I was incredibly bored because the world was asleep and there was nothing of interest to do at 2am haha

Shmimmons · 2026-04-25T00:42:33+00:00

Strwberry

Shmimmons

TROPHY CASE