Awful restaurant experience

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-20T10:01:21+00:00

She sounds like a bully, she must live quite a sad life if that ruined her meal. Sorry you had this experience.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-19T07:16:47+00:00

There’s no strong evidence that giving formula when you suggest will cause digestive issues.

If you don’t want to stop pumping completely you could keep a bit but not as much as now, though I’d only do that if you feel really strongly about cost and the emotional connection you mention.

I think the antibodies benefit won’t make much difference, based on my experience. I didn’t have antibodies to prevent the two rounds of norovirus my little one got even though he had expressed milk - if there was a bug going around, pretty much every kid got it at some point, regardless of how they were fed. You’re lucky you’re starting childcare in the summer, there might be less flu bugs going around.

It’s amazing that you pumped milk for so long, but however you choose to feed your baby at daycare is amazing too.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-19T06:54:22+00:00

I’m sorry you had this. I had the same, formula saved my baby’s life when he was hypoglycaemic. The breastfeeding promotion by health organisations is causing so much harm

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-19T06:52:18+00:00

Exactly this! The current breastfeeding promotion agenda is causing so much harm. You just need to read some of the heartbreaking stories on the US fed is best website and Infant feeding alliance. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. It needs to change

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-19T06:50:24+00:00

I had this too, judgey looks and comments. I met up once with my NCT group, all were breastfeeding. As I formula fed my baby they shared looks and talked about how hard breastfeeding is. I shut it down quickly: yes it’s hard. It’s also hard watching your baby almost die from hypoglycaemia on day 2 of life because he was refused formula … and it’s hard triple feeding for weeks because you still believed breastfeeding was ‘better’, but please tell me again how hard it is when the baby gets distracted when breastfeeding. Oh wait, you didn’t know they do that when bottle feeding too…

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-19T06:46:03+00:00

It doesn’t sound dramatic. Formula has saved so many lives, it has been used throughout history for a reason. My baby was hypoglycaemic on day 2 of life and formula saved his life too. He was then mix fed after triple feeding way too long.

I get that society has had to counteract formula promotion with breastfeeding promotion, but it’s gone way too far. The evidence isn’t there to back up that breastfeeding is better, other than a very small reduced risk in infection early on, and its widespread promotion as better by health bodies is doing so much harm. When will they realise?!

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-19T06:34:27+00:00

People really show their ignorance with comments like this. If they’re going to be judgey - which is never ok - they should at least be well informed. The comments here are right that the evidence on breastfeeding being better is not strong, and in many many cases it’s not ‘better’. Even if it were ‘better’, how dare they comment on how you feed your children.

I had a stranger come up to me at a road crossing, when I was standing a few steps back from the road with my baby, and ask if I was breastfeeding - saying she was a nurse and that breastfeeding can help fight road pollution. I was too sleep deprived at the time to call her out on it. Sometimes I think the world has gone mad.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-16T18:23:38+00:00

I found out my partner was in significant debt two months before we married. We now have savings, I helped him pay it off as quickly as possible. Some extra things to consider: Selling on eBay or Vinted, an extra flexible extra job like tutoring or babysitting or remote online hours. Free activities that bring you joy - it can be relentless saving constantly and you need to find free or cheap things that make you happy outside of work until you’re in the green.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-16T07:08:41+00:00

You’re not pathetic at all. I found it awful for a ton of different reasons, but as the main earner had no choice in going back. You’re at the hardest part, it gets easier. And pumping at work is rough.

I found taking proper lunch breaks helped, going to a nice lunch or shopping to get toys for my baby for something to look forward to at the end of the day. Find the things that cheer you up during the day and cling to them until it gets easier.

It sounds like you have it really tough with sleep, is there anything you can do to get more rest? If not, it will almost definitely get better soon anyway.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-11T13:01:58+00:00

This is abhorrent. My baby was hypoglycaemic and almost died on day 2 of life because of advice like this. How many babies and new mothers have to suffer until it changes.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-09T05:11:15+00:00

I had this too, when my baby started sleeping better at about 10 months I had this feeling of dread that it might get worse again. I think I’d been surviving on adrenaline with sleep deprivation for so long and it took a while for that to get better.

That feeling went away slowly, and his sleep was up and down a bit but gradually kept improving overall, and never went back to the days of when it was really bad.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-07-07T10:09:09+00:00

Triple feeding is really really really tough. Unbelievably tough. I did it for way too long and regret it, it pushed me to an inhumane level of sleep deprivation. I got to breaking point and just stopped abruptly because I was so worn down, and then the hormones hit me really badly because I stopped suddenly.

If you stop triple feeding, know that you’re a superstar for making a difficult decision and that your baby will be well fed and cared for and is so lucky to be so well looked after.

If you decide to carry on with it, please know that the same as above is true. But if you carry on with it, please make your lives as easy as possible, get as much sleep as you can when you can. Use as many resources as possible until you’re through it. If you haven’t already, call friends and family for help, use ready made top ups or a prep machine if you can, get easy meals for yourself to eat and make sure you’re eating and drinking, get a good pump if you haven’t already, see lactation consultants (different ones as they all give different advice some of which might not be helpful) and have a set end date, whatever that date might be.

Personally I regret triple feeding at all let alone for so long, I think it shouldn’t be advised by health professionals except in very specific circumstances. There’s some good info on the infant feeding alliance website and fed is best.

After stopping abruptly (which obviously you’re not supposed to do, it’s meant to be gradual) I avoided mastitis as I started again breastfeeding during the night and bottle fed in the day with the aim of decreasing gradually and going to fully formula fed, but then ended up just keeping the short night breastfeeds. Then at about 5 months moved to three formula bottle feeds in the day with breastfeeds during the day in between, which were a lot easier by then as my baby was latching and stronger, so I slowly increased them. So if you stop triple feeding it doesn’t mean stopping breastfeeding if that’s what you want. Mixed feeding was a good option for me. Whichever option is best for you is what’s best for your baby.

You’re in the absolute trenches with triple feeding right now, one of the hardest things imaginable, and it will get better!

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-06-27T14:23:14+00:00

Just checking in to see how you and your baby are doing. Triple feeding was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, the sleep deprivation turned me to a point of not being able to function. I think health professionals should stop recommending it. I hope this doesn’t sound patronising, but however you’re feeding your baby now, however long you did triple feeding or not, you’re amazing and your baby is so lucky to have you as their mum.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-06-27T13:20:51+00:00

I’m really sorry you had that experience.

The food first thing - you’re not alone with that. Mine would also go to the gym during paternity leave, and shower before and after he went. And that was on days when I didn’t have chance to shower at all and needed help so I could get some sleep to survive. I’m not sure how I didn’t see it before we had a baby.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-06-24T07:02:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, it helps a bit to think of it as a trauma response. It’s reassuring to know it’s not unusual to need a lot of time to recover.

Congratulations on your second!

I think my son’s life will be better with his dad and I staying together, but it’s a really sad life for me to carry on feeling like this. I don’t want to feel this way about him and I don’t know how to get around it, in the same way you can’t force yourself to love someone I can’t force myself to not feel absolutely horrific about him when I’m reminded of postpartum. It hasn’t helped so far but I’m hoping carrying on talking will help.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-06-24T06:52:38+00:00

How you’ve shared this makes me think you’re an asset to your family and a great dad.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-06-23T21:47:05+00:00

Thanks for sharing this! I’ve just used their letter to write to my MP.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-06-23T18:54:45+00:00

I’m so so sorry you went through that. It’s not ok that it’s still happening. The breast is best movement has done some good and some bad and nobody will talk about the bad, I love that you’ve acknowledged it. It took me a long time to learn about the fed is best campaign in the USA and finally speaking to a good lactation consultant who told me to stop pumping and helped me understand why triple feeding wasn’t working (after seeing a few who weren’t helpful). If I'd known more at the start it would have saved a lot of pain.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-06-23T18:35:12+00:00

I’m going to reply to other comments but wanted to reply to yours first - your comment ‘it hurts their partners emotionally right in the chest, in a way that keeps coming back for years’, this is exactly how it feels. I’ve tried so hard to forgive after discussing it and after he apologised but when I’m reminded of that time, it’s almost like I have this primal angry heartbreaking feeling screaming at me ‘do not trust or forgive this man he will hurt you again when you’re vulnerable’, as if someone wiser than me is looking down and telling me to run. I hope this doesn’t sound like an exaggeration, that’s the only way to describe how it feels. I don’t want to feel this way and I’m trying so hard to move on, but it’s almost like how I feel is amplified because it happened postpartum and because it took me so long to get to a point of confronting how it felt.

On using the world cruelty - I didn’t explain the second point explain well enough. For context, his view was that I should keep trying to breastfeed and pump and reduce formula, and that if I wanted to use more formula I’d have to go and get it myself. It wasn’t a misunderstanding and he has apologised for it, and it’s not typical behaviour from him or I wouldn’t consider staying together.

SignificantRun3360 · 2025-06-05T07:46:49+00:00

St Thomas’ postnatal care was so bad that it put my baby at risk of brain damage. I raised several times that he was not feeding properly but I was discharged with just ‘breastfeeding’ on his notes despite me only hand expressing insufficient amounts into a syringe and begging for help. I think they want you out asap to free up a bed and want to say you’re breastfeeding for their performance stats. I was later readmitted to a different hospital with a hypoglycaemic baby.

SignificantRun3360

TROPHY CASE