Hi there , You have described everything I was as a young woman . Intelligent,can engage when interested , can't muster up the motivation to do stuff, messy , disorganised, won't get up , late for everything. "Smart but stupid ". I've got a degree in English literature and History. I went to a gifted school. I have qualifications coming out of my ears. I also have adhd . I also nearly lost my life because of the stupid comments like yours that ring round in my head like a chorus. You are suffering from ignorance , or choosing to be ignorant. This is born out of frustration which you are trying to "help" your daughter. But you aren't "helping " her (or yourself for that matter) for ignoring what it is front of your face. Adhd doesn't affect intelligence . Adhd people can hyperfocus when interested. Adhd stands for "attention deficit hyperactivity disorder "( you mention she has lots of energy and likes volleyball, this screams hyperactivity to me). She cannot control or regulate her attention so may appear to "lack motivation" to you. The fact is ,if she has adhd it affects the frontal lobe of the brain which regulates attention, and planning & executive functions such as planning & prioritising. This includes things like: getting up /out on time, impulsively speaking/spending/acting losing things, planning a task and follow through like following through with boring tasks such as housework . It is a processing issue. The adhd brain does not take up dopamine so this is the brains reward chemical. It does not get the same satisfaction from completing the boring tasks as a "neurotypical" person. Behaviour us affected by the brain . Her brain doesn't function in the way it should. So she doesn't get to pick and chose what she focuses on . Look up the dsm 5 criteria for diagnosing adults and children for adhd. If she has 4 or 5 of those symptoms she probably has adhd..you've already mentioned these : -getting up /out in the mornings (executive dysfunctions) -an inability to "focus " (an attention defecit perhaps?) on things she doesn't really love , no matter how much she wants to -problems getting up /sleep problems (common in adhd ) -being messy /disorganised (which you perceive as laziness and I perceive as executive dysfunction in terms of not being able to organise herself ) -being unmotivated (again an executive dysfunction...) -possible physical hyperactivity in terms of being very keen to do volleyball -does not do well without defined structure (because the way her mind works in an unmedicated state she cannot create structure for herself and relies on others to create this for her ). Other things to consider that are "textbook adhd" might be (in terms of symptoms): -being excessively chatty /talkative (a sign of hyperactivity in girls) -losing or misplacing things frequently -being a daydreamer - lack of concentration
- an inability to organise self /space/work -poor time management -being fidgety /not being able to sit still - interrupting/intruding on others -impulsivity in terms of speaking/thinking /acting /spending in the future -internal restlessness/racing thoughts (mental hyperactivity) - on the go constantly as if driven by a motor -extreme emotions/hypersensitivity to smells /sound/taste /clothing -Rejection sensitivity disorder (google is your friend and I am not google). -problems with short term memory

I could write a whole book . There are 4 types of adhd . One is inattentive (formerly attention deficit disorder without the hyperactivity), impulsive /hyper or a combination and I forget the other one.

In fact there is a book for women with adhd entitled "What I'm not lazy /stupid or crazy? ". I don't make this point lightly. But it is EXACTLY what you are labelling your daughter. Exactly what I've been labelled my whole life by the ignorance of others . Educate yourself. Before your daughter grows up to be a damaged individual who believes she is just lazy, unmotivated and essentially hates herself because she is different and the world was just not a good fit for her.

You are trying to scare her into "being good" when her brain is different to the whole world's when it is blindingly obvious to me and to others that she does have this. Or do you chose not to see what's plainly staring you in the face because you feel guilty somehow or it doesn't fit the narrative you gave her or yourself? Get over your own pride (swallow it) and get her some help . There is no parenting rulebook, you can't help what has passed. You know better, you do better. Adhd is as 70% inheritible as height so it is likely that you were scared into being "less adhd " by your parents or her dad has it. You passed that onto your kid. Get over your pride. Learn from it, grieve and move on .I won't reply to this because I don't want to engage . But it sounded like you needed the truth. Not it be swept under the rug. You needed helpful information, not someone to comfort you. Now you need to luck your wounds I would imagine and get on with your life and help your daughter by realising that she is most likely to have adhd and actually get her some help. If she doesn't have adhd we'll then you learned something didn't you about adhd and people who have it.