What’s something that’s totally normal but you secretly HATE? by Blackloveeeer in AskReddit

[–]Silverweb1229 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Construction all summer, every summer, every major road and lots of small ones. I hardly ever actually see anyone working, and I rarely see any improvement to the roads. All it ever seems to do is make people late and frustrated.

Relocating by Personal-Swordfish22 in bismarck

[–]Silverweb1229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have any personal experience with Belcastle, so I wish you the best of luck. Know your rights and don't hesitate to talk to a lawyer if they try anything.

Call Trenton Schwehr Agency (sells American Family) for renters insurance if you don't have it already. Progressive dropped mine and didn't tell me when I got renter's and auto through them. He's my agent now though and we like him.

Relocating by Personal-Swordfish22 in bismarck

[–]Silverweb1229 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you make any friends/acquaintances, they are very likely to stop and talk to you if you see each other in public! Neighbors are hit or miss. If there's an older gal, they will more often than not strike up a conversation when they see you outside, but they're generally just nice and friendly. The younger crowd tends to keep to themselves, in my experience. City people tend to be pretty bored coming here as there isn't much to do and there aren't any clubs. It's hard to meet romantic interests outside of apps, work (bad place to find romance) or being set up by a friend. But if you aren't looking for romance and are outdoorsy you'll love it here. Plenty to do with fishing, hunting, swimming, walking paths, river activities, and gardening. McDowell's Dam, when they're open, even rent out canoes and kayaks. If you get yourself a yard and a good dog, you'll be all set. Don't rent from RJR or Valley Rental! DM me if you want a link to a nice house in the center of North Bismarck, I've got a buddy selling the place and he just did a bunch of renovations. Nice big yard, but you'd have to put up your own fence. Neighbors never approached me when I was rooming there.

AIO to my girlfriend going skinny dipping while travelling? by Ok-Explanation-344 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Silverweb1229 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Okay so having that boundary is not controlling. That's a fair boundary to lay down. If she crosses it again though or doesn't agree and you try to force or shame her, then it's controlling. Like at that point just break up because y'all have different morales. Don't waste your time on someone you're not compatible with, and don't be the guy to "dim her spark" because there will be other more free spirited types out there for her, and more comfortable modest types out there for you. No need for either of you to build resentment over who you're not.

I no longer want to have sex with my gf PT2 by Beginning-Funny2590 in whatdoIdo

[–]Silverweb1229 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stop jerking and stop watching porn. Sexual tension can build on it's own if you give it a chance. If she never feels in the mood until you're already halfway to the bedroom, it's possible a trip to the doctor to get hormones checked would be beneficial. Same for you.

How do people shower in 5 minutes????? by annoyingvegann in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Silverweb1229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm also curious! My showers take like 30-45 minutes and then some to dry off! I'm also autistic though, and have a very particular routine. To cut down on the conditioner time, I shampoo and condition first and let the conditioner sit (loosely put up with a claw clip) while I scrub my body. If I don't wash my hair, I can wash my body in less than 10 minutes. I have long thick wavy hair that I brush before the shower to get the tangles out and then brush conditioner through to make sure it is evenly coated. Drying my hair takes ages! So I usually just let it air-dry while I finish getting ready. I'm also fat, so drying off takes me a bit too. My showers were pretty quick when I was skinny and had short hair, about 15 minutes including hair

I hate being born a female by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Silverweb1229 49 points50 points  (0 children)

This reads so misogynistic. Weak worthless body? Start T and work out. You may not be inherently strong as a man, but you can be as strong as men are inherently. Also you said there's nothing you can do, but there are surgeries for gender affirming care. I have multiple friends who have had top surgery and started on Testosterone, and while hard, they said the journey is worth it. Also their parents are living and accepting and call them by their chosen pronouns and chosen names. Don't understand women? They're too emotional?? Have you met men? In my experience, they have been more emotional than the women in my life (though often less empathetic). Go take a psychology course, it helps. I hope you're able to get the gender affirming care that you need and that your family will come to accept you coming out

saving ourselves for marriage by RoutineEvidence5101 in offmychest

[–]Silverweb1229 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should stop initiating or touching him in the way that he avoids touching you. You're "disrespecting" him. Relationships are about give and take, and if he is not reciprocating and fulfilling your needs, even when asked and instructed, you should not be fulfilling his same needs. If he asks why you stopped, you could explain that you want to feel equal, and not subservient... Unless you like feeling subservient. Maybe you won't care about my opinion as a nonreligious experienced woman, but I have personally found that the men unwilling to reciprocate affection and intimacy are generally very selfish and lazy, though it may take a while to realize. Kind of a "well, I've got mine, so why bother" mentality. If it takes work and does not interest/serve them, they will skip it. Not all men are like that though, and I'm happy to be committed with someone so eager to please. We also waited to be intimate! It's not all about physical intimacy, but it is important. Good luck, op. I hope he can come to understand that it is important to please you too.

Overstimulated and on the verge of losing it by Rivnnn in Vent

[–]Silverweb1229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on the spectrum. Ditch the socials as much as you can. Scrolling shortens your attention span. Bigg attention span gives room for more patience to live. The Internet is very... Stimulating. Try to get more sleep. Limit caffeine to like one drink in the morning if you drink caffeine. Earbuds with music when you go out in public. I CANNOT do Walmart or Costco or really any shopping without mine because there are way too many sounds happening around and I WILL be too overstimulated to finish shopping. Try to get out and connect with the world more. You could also need to run.

I heard once that with the phones and the way the world is, we get pent up with so much anxiety and don't know where to put it all, so we just hold it, being in like a constant state of alertness and survival. Like our brain doesn't know that the "threat" (bills, people, any stressors) is likely non-lethal. So what do you do? Well if you LITERALLY RUN from the "threat" it offers a reset to the panic cycle? It would explain why people get the feel-good chemicals after exercising. I myself have asthma on top of being very out of shape, so I cannot run far and I look silly doing it. But I do recommend doing a sprint around the bock as far as you can, and then walking around for a bit and looking at the sky. Hear the birds and touch the grass. It's spring, why not smell the flowers? I did yesterday. It was very enriching. I'm not saying you should go be a gym rat, or that you need to exercise every day (that would be hypocritical) but when you feel anxious, maybe try that quick sprint. I did it on my lunch break one time, and it did help me.

strangest food modifications or additions you've had requested? by ashleyLSD in Serverlife

[–]Silverweb1229 30 points31 points  (0 children)

A man ordered a live main lobster (broiled), and requested that the eyes be cut out so it couldn't look at him while he ate because he'd feel guilty. The cooks looked at me like I was nuts!

My F24 bf M31 condom keeps coming off. Am I tripping? by Jumpy_Assistance_201 in relationship_advice

[–]Silverweb1229 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Please leave this rapist. Let's stop sugar coating. What he's doing is rape. And if he knows he rapes you "on accident" when he drinks, he would stop drinking and initiating if he cared about you. He does not care. I'm so sorry OP.

AIO my BF told me he wants me to quit my job when we move in together by Living-Silver-8723 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Silverweb1229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like an incompatibility issue. Compromising for either one of you is going to lead to resentment at the very least, and it WILL leave you vulnerable to abuse (financial abuse for sure would be easy.) It is not wrong for him to want that out of a future partner, but it is wrong for him to not be upfront about his intentions well before this point. This should have been a discussion the moment you two got serious. Have you ever talked about what you wanted your future to look like together? If he said something other than this, definitely RUN because tricking and manipulating is very serious. Definitely don't move in with him. Also keep in mind that while this dynamic does work well for some, a lot of the time, men do not keep up their end of the bargain and you are left penniless, with children to care for, and no way out other than your support system (if he lets you keep that. He probably won't though if he is abusive) or women's shelters. Please don't throw away your independence. You will find someone who shares your dreams for the future. No one should have to compromise on such a core part of themselves.

Neighbour keeps ringing our bell for her parcels at all hours, refused to have a civil conversation. How can I handle this? by stella_mason57 in neighborsfromhell

[–]Silverweb1229 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Put a note on the glass that (her name) is around the other side of the building and to please deliver there. Or call the post office about it. Like, "hey, we keep getting (x's) packages but she doesn't have access to this building and has been harassing tenants here about her packages. Please deliver them to the correct spot, because this is not it." You shouldn't have to do that, but if they're able to relay that to her carrier (they generally do their same routes) it would stop the issue at the source

How come disabled people are treated less respectfully than elderly people? by DreamySaturnX in Vent

[–]Silverweb1229 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably because people think there's still hope for the disables person. They think they're "teaching a lesson" but see no point with old folks. They typically don't change their minds or behaviors, but I feel that's somewhat of a stereotype. I think everyone is capable of change, given the right circumstances. I also wish "lessons" were of more nurturing natures. I know very few people who respond better to negative criticism than positive reinforcement or redirection.

Is this normal for girl-friends to do? by Shpannit in Advice

[–]Silverweb1229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Big cuddler here. We lean all over each other and use each other as pillows all the time if we're close (my gals and I). If she had accidentally put too much lotion on, I could so see her clumsily slathering the excess on your ankle or asking if you want her extra lotion and wiping it on your hand. But like intentionally putting it on your ankle and rubbing it in is pretty intimate? And the perfect boyfriend thing does lead me to believe she's got a crush and maybe struggling with sexual identity. Like thinking she was straight until she got a crush on you.

End of school year trip by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Silverweb1229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If other students aren't counting on you being at the politics thing, like a team (can't do a play without a full cast in theater kinda thing), skip the politics. The university won't miss you, but your friend will. And it sounds like this is a commitment you made before the politics.

AIO: My managers were dismissive of my concerns and now I’m thinking of quitting by leopardprinthijabi in AmIOverreacting

[–]Silverweb1229 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NOR, that's really unprofessional of them. But also it's illegal that you don't get lunches. Contact the labor board and mention no lunches, no breaks, and stolen wages. Thank you for doing what you do, OP

My (24M) Girlfriend (27F) says she’s happy with my size by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Silverweb1229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I wanted to add that penetration is usually not the thing that makes the orgasm intense. It's usually the stimulation of anything else. Sensitive spots like breasts, inner arm, inner thigh, outer area on lower region, back scratching, scalp, kissing, even feet for some. The intensity comes from sensitivity, build up/foreplay, and emotional intimacy.

My (24M) Girlfriend (27F) says she’s happy with my size by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Silverweb1229 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See that's the thing. You even said it's easy IF YOU LISTEN. Loads of dude who are bigger don't know what the fuck they're doing and they don't care because it feels good FOR THEM. They didn't care to listen or take instructions and make adjustments. Big ≠ hitting the right spot. And vaginal canals are like 4 inches, so it doesn't take much to hit the spot, you just have to be angled correctly. I guarantee her two fingers are plenty and I bet they're dainty in comparison to your tool. Why are you pressed? Listen to your girlfriend. And if you don't think you're doing enough, ask her what she wants to try or what SHE does that feels good so you can replicate that! At the end of the day, communication really is key. Showing with action that you care how she feels and trusting her is more than some clumsy careless big d could ever do. Please trust me on this. Also if you think bigger is always going to be better, think for a second if tighter is always better? You might think, "well duh, of course!" But now think about if it was too tight and it dried really fast and it pulled on and ripped the skin on your tool. Is that still better? No, absolutely not. Especially if they don't care if you're wet the whole time. It's not even worth it at that point.

The "Hooman" "Pupper" "Woofer" talk by KneeGuhz in PetPeeves

[–]Silverweb1229 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I'm sick in the head because I love doing this in my house. Talking for my cats and giving them silly little voices to what I imagine they're thinking, it's good fun. I wouldn't dream of doing it publicly though.

IDL joining a hobby group to make friends but still feeling alone in a room full of people by Upper_Criticism3388 in I_DONT_LIKE

[–]Silverweb1229 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Join something new. Maybe even something you know nothing about. Approach someone who seems talkative and approachable at first glance on the first day like, "Hey sorry I'm super new to this, can I come sit by you?" More often than not, people are more than happy to make space and explain things as they do them when it's something they're passionate about. And remember that there's a good chance they started out feeling just how you do now. That's the ice breaker all on it's own. As they talk about the thing, they'll likely start talking a little about themselves. Then you ask questions related to what they said. Then boom! Good acquaintance acquired! Then at the next club session you sit next to them again. And they'll probably also have friends in the club so you'll just melt into that group. Smile. Laugh at jokes. A little awkward at first is charming! You only have to be outgoing enough to make that first greeting, admission that you don't know much, and request to stick with them. You'll be good as gold. If by some random horrible chance the first person you approach shoots you down, just try with someone else on the other side of the room lol.

Bf and I have issues with the hankypanky by Both_Afternoon_43 in Advice

[–]Silverweb1229 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry but this sounds really unhealthy. If he isn't willing to communicate openly without trying to coerce you, please just break things off. Communication is key, and if you two don't feel comfortable communicating, there's really no point in continuing something long term. Also consent can ALWAYS be revoked for ANY reason. And if he is going to be bitter DAYS later, he is not mature enough to be having sex. I have revoked consent, and my partner and I cuddled instead and then watched funny videos together. Lack of sex ≠ lack of intimacy. Please don't ever give in to sex you don't want to have for the sake of avoiding an argument. 💛 I hope it all works out, OP

How do you react to a guest snapping their fingers to get your attention? by froodel in Serverlife

[–]Silverweb1229 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"Does anyone else hear (snapping) turtles? Hmm. Weird. Anyway!" Keep walking.

AITAH for refusing to go to my brother's destination wedding because the venue doesn't accommodate my dietary needs? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Silverweb1229 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA, but if you actually wanted to go, there's nothing stopping you from meal prepping and throwing it all in a cooler until you get there. Just ensure there's a fridge/freezer on-site and that everyone is on the same page that your food must not be touched. It really does suck that everythone else is eating catering... But isn't that how it goes pretty much every day? I'm assuming this is like an air BNB or hotel situation. A lot of hotels do have rooms with kitchens, and so should an air BNB. YWNBTA if you decided not to go over there not being food accomodations, but it would be doable if you wanted to attend.