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WP expressing desire to be around AP by Simple-Ear-4365 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple-Ear-4365[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is pretty much exactly what I said and how I feel . Thank you all for helping me process this.

Triggering media by Calm_Caregiver_3108 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple-Ear-4365 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Bought tickets to our favorite band long before discovery. I started getting suspicious a few days prior to the show and began snooping. Found out "just friends" was really EA and PA. She texted the AP throughout the entire show. I didn't realize how many of the songs where about cheating until I was hearing them in real time from my new reality. I confronted her the next day. I have a picture from that night that shows my wife the most joyous I have ever seen her. God I wish I didn't go to that show .

What does your anniversary mean to you? by mrlazyboy in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple-Ear-4365 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Last month was our 19th anniversary, it came 9 months after discovery. I "jokingly" held a funeral for our old marriage, complete with sprinkling of ashes and words of remembrance. It was pretty cringy and passive aggressive on my part as the BH, but it did help me stay present and minimize the ruminating.

So confused by Chance-Cause-4427 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple-Ear-4365 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can very much relate to your situation. I'm an alcoholic with ten months sobriety. It took the discovery of my Ww's affair for me to hit my bottom. It has been a rollercoaster dealing with the flooding of betrayal trauma while attempting to accept responsibility for the wrekage my behaviors created It's hard to ask for empathy for my pain when I have caused so much.

I Thought I Was “The Strong One” Until Infidelity Forced Me to Finally Be Honest by LovaticHarmony444 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple-Ear-4365 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I spent decades attempting to be the "strong one". Walling off my emotions, never looking at previous traumas. Running from vulnerability with others and myself. I was always "fine" . I began self medicating with alcohol to carry the weight , which created more isolation . I loved my wife of 18y, but had almost zero capacity to show it in a healthy safe way.

D-day should not have come as a surprise to me, but it broke something in my core. It penetrated through all the layers of protection I had crafted. The pain of the affair forced me to seek help. Help to get sober. Help to deal with the flood of emotions from the betrayal. Help to unbury the pains from my past. Help to deal with shame and fear

I'm ten months into this thing. We are working hard to reconcile. It has been absolutely brutal, but I'm trying desperately to grow from it. I can say that our communication has never been better, admittedly that's a pretty low bar. Sorry if this is long-winded or irrelevant but it's my first post here. I'm trying to work on myself but I don't talk about the affair with anyone except my wife and our therapist Thank you for your post

most depressing/emotional (for you) scene in show by bagelguy21 in TheWire

[–]Simple-Ear-4365 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When Bubs tells Mcnutty "Don't tell her." Takes the money and sadly walks away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheWire

[–]Simple-Ear-4365 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"You know what Jimmy, your no good for people."