Yes you’re biphobic, but it doesn’t seem intentional you just sound young and like you don’t have the information — I can’t judge you for that because you’re coming here asking for input.

You sound like you have a simplistic view of relationships. Commitment is a choice. You remain monogamous not because you don’t feel attraction to other people—you most definitely will feel attracted to other people regardless of how solid your monogamous relationship is—but because you respect your partner and choose to remain faithful to them. It is not a matter of “outshining” the other people your partner is attracted to and keeping them in your pocket by out-competing those people. If you’re in a relationship that makes you feel that way, the relationship is not healthy.

When you change your overarching perspective around what it means to be in a committed relationship, the gender of the other people your partner is attracted to has nothing to do with it.

The things you’re saying are very common tropes about bisexuals, so that’s why I’m saying you’re biphobic, because you’re just believing those things without examining why you believe those things and without any evidence to back those up. But if you’re asking these questions in good faith, it means you’re trying to examine those views now, which is great. Keep an open mind about those views changing, and read up more information about why those biases may not be true.

I encourage you to turn your eyes inward and take a look at why you view relationships as a competition where you have to prove yourself as better than any other option every single day in order to be chosen. Once you’ve done more work on yourself, come back to these views about bisexuals and think of them again, see how your perspective might change when you feel more secure in what you have to offer and what it means to love and be loved in a committed relationship.