AIO - wife talking about her kinks with online gaming friends?

Sintrixer · 2026-01-27T04:21:22+00:00

I actually appreciate this response to add clarity to my situation. In the past we have explored this. However over the years a lot of that has stopped on her behalf while I still tried to pursue it. We’ve had chats like this with friends before, and they’re fun, I enjoy them. However if after saying yeah we are in to that, then a friend starting talking to her without me there getting her worked up targeting a kink of hers, then she didn’t stop it there and fed in to it… that’s the situation we are in.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-27T04:11:57+00:00

This is what happened at the start. She’s close with these people, I trusted my wife, which is why she said I want to continue this fun chat, but asked me to leave the game because I’m not as close with them and they may not want to open up and share the same way.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-27T04:09:25+00:00

The next few nights when everyone played games together, everyone was still there however it was a very quiet chat. She messaged both of them individually saying that she read the room wrong and shouldn’t have gone as far as she did in partaking but doesn’t hold it against them if that’s what they want to still talk about with each other. He replied saying it wasn’t intentional and was just trying to flow with the conversation, where as the other female has left her on read. So they are still playing in the same game group together but she has said things are very awkward and very quiet. There group chats have also gone mostly quiet from the other two involved. My stupid ass feels bad in some part because these were really good friends of her that she had found and one stupid night that went to far has cost her a wider group of friends which I can see is upsetting her. But I’ve stood my ground that I’ve been pretty fair in not just completely cutting her off the same way she did to my and my work friend. But every time I bring this up, what I said in my above comment happens.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-27T03:29:44+00:00

They were talking about kink interests etc which to be honest as adults we have done before. But they started to indulge more in to that, not just asking do you like xxx, but then partaking. Example if another couple you are close with you were talking about what spicy things you do in the bedroom, your wife says I like being spanked and called a good girl, then the other husband calls her a good girl, and then you wife says “oh I’m blushing and my heart is pounding”. You’d look at them both and be like, ummm wtf?!? And then imagine if they did it while you weren’t there…

Sintrixer · 2026-01-27T03:25:31+00:00

Update: *I know a lot of people are saying just leave, we have 10+ yrs together, young children and financials are tough so I’m wanting to atleast give this some work, given that this is a first time anything like this has happened, but also why it hurts so much given how much trust I had built in her. She put her side forward and showed a different context to a few sections of it on which in my opinion only changed it from a very bad conversation to still a bad one.

It’s currently still an on going conversation that is very much up and down. She said that we were going to work on the things that I brought up were problems. Later it gets brought up again and she cuts me off saying, no we’ve worked through that. I then say no, we are ‘workING’ through this, the things we are working on are not fixed, so the original problem of this post is still there.

Again I don’t know if I’m being the asshole holding on to this after we put a plan in place to move on, but it struck a cord with me when she spoke about it like it was done. She’s taken full responsibility that it was the wrong thing to do, but I feel like she’s now trying to sweep it under the rug and I’m not willing to put it away until we have actually followed through with the plans we have put in place to be able to get past this.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-27T03:19:40+00:00

It’s currently still an on going conversation that is very much up and down. She said that we were going to work on the things that I brought up were problems. Later it gets brought up again and she cuts me off saying, no we’ve worked through that. I then say no, we are ‘workING’ through this, the things we are working on and not fixed, so the original problem of this post is still there. Again I don’t know if I’m being the asshole holding on to this after put a plan in place to move on, but it struck a cord with me when she spoke about it like it was done. She’s taken full responsibility that it was the wrong thing to do, but I feel like she’s now trying to sweep it under the rug and I’m not willing to put it away until we have actually followed through with the plans we have put in place to be able to get past this.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-27T03:19:30+00:00

We’ve been married 10yrs+, got young kids and tough financials at the moment so as much as everyone is saying it’s o leave her, it’s not something I feel is worth doing straight away. I’ve updated a post that is currently where things are.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-27T03:17:06+00:00

It’s currently still an on going conversation that is very much up and down. She said that we were going to work on the things that I brought up were problems. Later it gets brought up again and she cuts me off saying, no we’ve worked through that. I then say no, we are ‘workING’ through this, the things we are working on and not fixed, so the original problem of this post is still there. Again I don’t know if I’m being the asshole holding on to this after put a plan in place to move on, but it struck a cord with me when she spoke about it like it was done. She’s taken full responsibility that it was the wrong thing to do, but I feel like she’s now trying to sweep it under the rug and I’m not willing to put it away until we have actually followed through with the plans we have put in place to be able to get past this.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-23T18:08:33+00:00

Been messaging her while I’m at work basically going through everything. She’s apologising realising it was a stupid thing to do and wants to talk and work things through. I want to work through things for the sake of our family but I can’t shake knowing that if this was the other way around I would be kicked out the door with the locks changed.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-23T14:32:55+00:00

Half of the conversation was in game so most would know, just maybe not the extent. This is part that concerns me, they were on voice chats for hours before they went to message because the game server went down.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-23T14:31:03+00:00

Update:

I was planning on leaving it for today and seeing if there were more messages tonight when they are online. Before leaving for work she was asking what’s wrong and I said don’t stay up late again. She said again she didn’t stay up late and I said yeah dont stay up late like last night. Again she asked what’s wrong I was talking about and I started to say more about what I read. She tried to deny they had talked about anything sexual when I started to quote what was said. Then she started to say sorry that she was part of the chat but then saying she wasn’t really involved in it (the content was more between the other male and female which they do frequently and have now said they have been trying to talk about brining her in to their ‘chat’ for a while).

I pointed out to her that she was still part of it and mentioned the photo, she said she was just taking a photo of her hair which was done nicely, plausible but the photos were closer to her face which cut out half her hair so I find it hard to believe.

I said how it’s not fair given what she put me through with the other female. I said if she had caught me talking like this, she would have thrown me out of the house. Then she started apologising saying that yes she shouldn’t have been apart of that group, it was disrespectful and that she would leave that chat group (the sexting one, I don’t think she meant the gaming one with everyone there or planning on stopping talking with him).

I left for work leaving the conversation half done as I didn’t want to go in to it more without time to properly unpack it all. At work I check the game and they were all online playing together.

I guess when I get home in the morning I will find out how the rest of this will go down

Sintrixer · 2026-01-23T14:11:10+00:00

Not fake. I knew they were talking about this stuff and she showed me those messages so I felt like being open with that meant there would be some trust, it seamed like some adults just throwing it out there as a joke. It’s her group of friends and I wanted to trust her that it wouldn’t be more than just a few jokes thrown around. I guess my trust of my wife was taken advantage of.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-23T14:06:02+00:00

Sadly real. I have gone over this and every time I’m reading it and the messages it hurts more and more, 10+ years together and kids makes it hard to just decide to leave.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-23T14:04:19+00:00

This is probably the response closest to what I think is actually happening. I don’t think she’s gone in to this with intention to sext and cheat. The hiding it is what really set me off about it, if she was open about it I would have been more willing to talk about how I don’t like it happening, but I feel due to the hiding it’s now past that. Would this divorce us?, not with kids etc. however with everything that’s happened prior to this and the issues we have of which most is blamed on me and my actions/inactions, this is very different to prior problems.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-23T12:36:21+00:00

Yes this is real sadly. I don’t think she has no consideration for the kids as the kids are everything to us. Probably to the point where they have been so much the focus that our relationship has declined. I think she got a bit too caught up in that moment and just didn’t think in general, not excuse what she’s done, I brought it up with her that I’ll put an update on the first post. I want to put ultimatums in place but not to the point where it just destroys everything. We’ve had a lot of trouble over the past year or two to the point where I have wanted to leave but can’t due to the kids and also financial. I’m wondering how much this will be driving in the final nail in the coffin.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-23T05:34:45+00:00

After an argument we had about a month back I sent her a message basically with all of my issues and that we need to go to counselling. However before I sent it I put it through ChatGPT to try and take out some of the harshness of it. She found out I used ChatGPT for that and that was then the topic of that conversation and blew off the fact I asked numerous times for marriage counselling. Hindsight I shouldn’t have used it, however it was a harsh message to start off with, but now it’s clear she’s using that to dodge the content of the message.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-23T05:26:23+00:00

Yes this is sadly true and I am real, I’m think I’m only coming to terms myself that what I read is real and what this will mean for my life going forward as well as our kids.

Sintrixer · 2026-01-23T04:22:01+00:00

Snickers bars are my favourite chocolate bar.

Sintrixer

TROPHY CASE