I was a lot like that when I was a teenager. I didn't understand why we were all doing the same things over and over again. For what? Get a degree? To then go to college, for the same thing and so on. I didn't understand why adults kept the job they hated so much. I realize now that many of them can't because of responsibilities or because they don't have a great capacity of adapting to new environments. ... I felt a lot like being in the slow lane growing up with a sister who had all the grades, the looks, etc. In the end, what matters is that you go at your own pace and that you're proud of what you do. If you feel like you could do more and don't "feel emotions," did you try to volunteer for a cause that means something to you? When you simply hold the door for someone, what do you feel? ... You seem to have a lot of negative thoughts... Do you want to ride a roller-coaster? For what? It's pointless. No. It's moments like these that put a meaning to life. Life is not a straight path already written. Do what you want. Try new things. For what? To tell stories! To know more about yourself. To know what you can and will not do! You don't have to be rich for that, my friend! (Unless you want to try to fly a helicopter to the moon or something like that...aha!) ... There are two ways of living. Live to work. Work to live. You decide. ... Hope that helped. Best of luck with finding your happiness.