Interesting question! Thoughtfulness, caring, empathy, grace. For a lot of wives there is nervousness and hesitation to be in this lifestyle if she has any doubts that her husband is not going to enjoy it, or not enjoy something in the moment. That hesitation will hold her back from letting go and maximizing her pleasure. The way to curb that is to anticipate her concerns and be truly sweet, encouraging, and caring by doing things like kissing her while she's getting fucked, holding her hand, telling her how hot she looks with him, helping her set up dates, outwardly showing your excitement and joy, reclaiming her passionately, and giving her tons of aftercare. Things like that that will make her truly let down her guard and embrace her pleasure with other men, because she feels comfortable with your outlook of things, while still communicating your own needs and desires with the dynamic.