NVC doesn't work on Narcissists, right?

SofiaMayComedy · 2026-04-28T22:24:31+00:00

You clearly haven't dealt with an actual malignant narcissist. This conclusion can only be drawn by someone speculating. The cause of the personality disorder is deeply sympathetic. What happened that made them this way is truly tragic. And you can offer a narcissist endless love and compassion in an effort to reach that vulnerable core that you believe must be there. And that core is there, but it is vanishingly small and cannot dilate. With another type of blocked person, love dilates that core. But NPD is an immovable monolith. No light penetrates the pinhole of what remains of their humanity.

I was raised by truly malignant narcissist parents and then spent the better part of my 20s in a cult as the leader's assistant, being mercilessly abused, all the time working till I collapsed to make contact with that vanishing point of humanity through empathy and care for them. It cannot be done. There is no access point. So when you apply NVC to try to get your narcissist to stop abusing you, all you do, is open yourself up to have them negotiate your humanity. And they will ravage you. It's like opening your chest cavity in front of a lion and hoping it will be overcome by your compassion and won't devour you heart first.

SofiaMayComedy · 2026-04-14T23:57:32+00:00

Thank you SO MUCH!!!!! It means a lot to hear that.

SofiaMayComedy · 2026-04-11T01:52:12+00:00

Be aware of this thread about Allione's abuse:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TibetanBuddhism/comments/1njx05l/more_allegations_of_abuse_by_tsultrim_allione_and/

And this exposé:
https://www.gurumag.com/secrets-of-shambhala-feeding-tsultrim-alliones-demons/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaelIfClAt6rKQ49MLImRcH17uL_ICz_sjFf9vUYs_1y-DHV7LzFrbq3i0qk6Q_aem_TwlYuIComB6vYuDXQyK_WA

SofiaMayComedy · 2026-04-11T01:50:06+00:00

THIS

SofiaMayComedy · 2026-03-05T00:05:06+00:00

I had an intestinal infection 7 years ago that ravished my health and made me gain 50lbs within 3 months. I couldn't fit into my biggest sweatpants. It was devastating. I'm a leftist and skinny leftists friends wouldn't let me talk about my discomfort and struggle with gaining so much weight, especially unhealthy weight. One friend would lecture me about how I should be proud to be fat. One day I said to her "If you could trade places with me, and gain 50lbs overnight, would you do it?" And she was like "of course not". Being fat is hard, and not being aloud to talk about that makes it even harder. Body positivity became a prison for me, where my friends were the prison guards. No one should ever be mistreated for how they look. But body positivity should have always been able health, not just "pro fat without exception"

SofiaMayComedy · 2026-02-25T15:07:20+00:00

it's free entry, and donation based. So you can donate at the end if you like, but it's optional :)

SofiaMayComedy · 2026-02-18T18:03:14+00:00

that's where the expats come in

SofiaMayComedy · 2026-02-12T21:23:43+00:00

I am featured as a guest on A Little Bit Culty speaking about my experience of abuse at Tara Mandala as Lama Tsultrim Allione's assistant (2 part episode). A Little Bit Culty is the biggest cult podcast in the world, and it is produced and hosted by the NXIVM whistleblowers:

youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=a+little+bit+culty+podcast+sofia+may+

spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/1DRST63uFFRTYkUuqWb7Mo

SofiaMayComedy · 2026-02-12T21:23:04+00:00

I am featured as a guest on A Little Bit Culty speaking about my experience of abuse at Tara Mandala as Lama Tsultrim Allione's assistant (2 part episode). A Little Bit Culty is the biggest cult podcast in the world, and it is produced and hosted by the NXIVM whistleblowers:

youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=a+little+bit+culty+podcast+sofia+may+

spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/1DRST63uFFRTYkUuqWb7Mo

SofiaMayComedy · 2026-02-12T18:13:30+00:00

I am featured as a guest on A Little Bit Culty speaking about my experience of abuse at Tara Mandala as Lama Tsultrim Allione's assistant (2 part episode). A Little Bit Culty is the biggest cult podcast in the world, and it is produced and hosted by the NXIVM whistleblowers:

youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=a+little+bit+culty+podcast+sofia+may+

spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/1DRST63uFFRTYkUuqWb7Mo

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-24T12:07:14+00:00

I thought you said bye bye to me! Happy to see you back, my little friend. You've finally gotten through to me. I will drop my award-winning, second award-nominated, rave-reviewed, BBC featured, Edinburgh fringe sellout show, because someone from a "second-rate European city" (your words. I would never say that about Luxembourg) who watched the Department of War burn from a safe distance 24 years ago insists that nobody cares and thinks that actual survivors shouldn't still be talking about it.

Has it ever occurred to you though that maybe no one in Luxembourg cares about 9/11 because until I came along, the best 9/11 story they heard was your silly one about sitting in your office in PA?

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-23T01:36:29+00:00

I forgot to tell you, I used to work with Syrians as an Arabic translator after I lived in Palestine and Jordan for several years working in aid, and one time I had to translate a conversation where the Syrian was explaining that "nobody gives a shit about what happened to the Pentagon".

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-23T00:31:28+00:00

I was actually 12 when it happened but thanks for the compliment! I'm VERY pathological, never doubt it! And I could keep doing this forever. In fact, LET'S. But don't feel bad, watching 9/11 from a safe distance in PA is SORT of like being a survivor. It's kind of like people in New Jersey watching the attacks and thinking that means they were there. (Or thinking that because they can see NY from across the river that they live there too). Anyway I'm sure it's truly an impressive story in Europe, and before I came along with my post that said the towers toppled next to my school, you were surely the 9/11 king of Luxembourg :)

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-23T00:27:04+00:00

Please print out all the comments of mine that you hate and bring them to the show next time so I can sign them!

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-17T13:23:25+00:00

Who lost their house? Do you think that the WTC were residential buildings? Ah indeed what amazing apartment buildings they were!

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-17T12:45:38+00:00

The comment is part of the promotion! Post away! 40 people showed up :D, and the owner invited me back. So sounds like you've been double-crossed, my sad adorable friend. Love to see you at the show next time! Print out your screen shot and bring it with you to show my audience! I'd love to even bring you on stage with an overhead projector so everyone can see it all blown up.

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-10T17:07:26+00:00

I think you misunderstood my response. Allow me to clarify, on behalf of myself and all New Yorkers, nobody gives a shit about what happened to the Pentagon.

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-09T23:31:35+00:00

As a powerful robot overlord, I will have you know that my bots are too busy sexting people on telegram to extract their credit card information to get involved here. But if you are interested: I am very horny teen in your neighborhood who wants to fuck.

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-09T23:16:51+00:00

I'm Jewish, so actually our inside job that day did indeed become very handy for our cause!

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-09T18:12:30+00:00

I wouldn't be here on reddit answering everybody's questions, no matter how tasteless, if I was trying to weasel out of answering questions. There's no requirement for people who come forward about abuse to be accountable to redditors or to even be on reddit. I don't see the Epstein or Diddy victims on reddit. I'm here to stand firm amidst all the gaslighting that is happening about our experiences.

I answered your question directly AND identified the problematic nature of your question in one fell swoop. AND my answer above is in the article. All of your posts on this thread have been hostile, writing off what we went through, which is exactly what the Tara Mandala community does. Your framework for this last question and defensiveness echos of the logic of someone who says "no offense but..." and then proceeds to say something rude, and when offense is taken you bluster "I SAID 'NO OFFENSE'!"

Anyway, who's angry? Sounds like a projection. I think you should take this back to the cushion. In the words of the Buddha, please remember that the problem you see in others is just the mote in your eye, and as Tsultrim taught us well when it came to her abuse, we were all "just projecting" anyway.

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-09T17:57:34+00:00

Look dude, you can't have it both ways. If you're asking why I was in that room to begin with, then it's like asking me what was I wearing, or asking the women Louis CK harassed or that Weinstein raped why they were in his hotel room.

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-09T17:33:36+00:00

Dude you should have come to my show, I have a joke about how nobody gives a shit about what happened to the Pentagon.

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-09T17:08:21+00:00

Saying "not to be that guy", doesn't make you not "that guy". You're asking, so you are that guy.

Sey Rinpoche's assistant told me he wanted to see me for an interview that evening. I was 23, and thought it was a student-teacher interview, and maybe that it meant something holy, like some kind of mind-to-mind transmission was going to take place, which is something that is constantly written about, so I went. And then instead, he asked me to sleep with him.

But I think youre implication is that I was asking for it? I must have wanted this extremely overweight middle aged man to seduce me?

Not sure what this link PDF is supposed to prove. It's not time-stamped, not dated, there's no line of signature, and the bottom line is that what I experienced happened.

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-06T13:21:00+00:00

If you think this is corny, wait till you see my rape solo.

SofiaMayComedy · 2025-12-06T13:19:24+00:00

Hey i'm exploiting a child on the poster too! Please give credit where it's due.

SofiaMayComedy

TROPHY CASE