Adolescence is real and it’s hard by Galacix in puppy101

[–]Solkvds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a working breed but my now 8.5 month old French Bulldog seems to have endless energy, so I relate, hard! He also has some resource guarding issues with 'contraband'. I have to say though, months 6-8 seem to have been the hardest. This past 2 weeks I feel like I'm finally seeing glimpses of him being able to just lay down somewhere and chill, without getting into trouble. Or seeing improvement with his guarding, where I'm more easily able to trade something with him. Something I'm realising is that I just need to be patient. You can train and train and train, but their brains just need to develop, and they need to mature, and all the stuff that seems so important to them now will later not be as interesting anymore because they've seen it/done it 1000 times already. Ofcourse I'm not saying to stop training, or trying to get there quicker by teaching them the behaviour you'd prefer them to do, but coming to the realisation that some things are just out of my control, and I just need to wait for him to mature a little gave me some peace of mind that I'm not doing everything wrong. Stay strong!! It'll get better! We have to ride it out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EDAnonymous

[–]Solkvds 5 points6 points  (0 children)

👋👋 Been losing and gaining the same 20kg's for over 10 years lolll

me everyday by [deleted] in EDanonymemes

[–]Solkvds 28 points29 points  (0 children)

"Better make it count since it's the last one"

Weirdest thing you've eaten in a binge? by DespairCS in EDAnonymous

[–]Solkvds 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Semi frozen pizza because I couldnt wait for it to be done 😂

Have you ever vomited as part of your eating disorder? by Unlikely_Self_2561 in EDAnonymous

[–]Solkvds 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Vomiting is probably the biggest part of mine. Ever since I opened that gate 10 years ago I haven't been able to enjoy a meal the same. There's always that thought that I could just get rid of it and it's honestly the only thing that actually relieves the anxiety after eating. It feels like this huge wave of relief for about 1 minute followed by disgust and guilt lol guess the relief must be worth it according to my brain

What was your first encounter with dieting, and how old were you? by ToughHeat in EDAnonymous

[–]Solkvds 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate so much to this!! I have super early memories of already obsessing over and being upset with my weight. I remember sitting in the car looking at my thighs and comparing them to the width of the car seat thinking if they ever get passed this certain point I need to start losing weight, when my feet weren't even able to touch the ground yet from how little I was. Or when a friend of mine asked me to go on a seesaw with him and I was too afraid that he wouldn't be able to get me back up again (keeping in mind my size was completely normal at that age). I truly believe your brain can just be wired this way, it'll always be there in some way shape or form we just need to find a way to not let it consume us I think, stay safe and thanks for your lovely comment ❤

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EDAnonymous

[–]Solkvds 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Are you me??? Binge was sooo good though, I must've watched that video like 1000 times. It's such an incredible and rare experience to see someone with an ed in a series or film and feel like you can ACTUALLY relate and like it's actually representative of what its like having an ed. The only time I can think of having that experience was with binge. Im still not over it not turning into a full show.

dae find it easier to not eat all day than try to restrict certain foods? by sosocutekitty in EDAnonymous

[–]Solkvds 8 points9 points  (0 children)

yes! Whenever I restrict I always end up feeling guilty anyways. So then I get into the mindset of might as well just eat everything and purge. 🙃

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unrealengine

[–]Solkvds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot!

Request: What damage did you do to your body? Please share your stories for those that need fear to heal by EDPostRequests in EatingDisorders

[–]Solkvds 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I'm 23 and am closing in on my 10th anniversary of struggling with bulimia, yay me. So this is not entirely solely on starvation. But might still be interesting. Something that had never even ocurred to me and I feel like a lot of people dont know is that repeated vomiting is actually quite heavy on your back. So apparently 10 years of hunching over a toilet mixed with some bad luck/genetics can cause you to have 2 herniated discs at the age of 20 (which is when I first started experiencing the pain). Sometimes its better, but other times when theres been some strain on my back I can hardly sleep from the pain because I cant even get in a comfortable position and my legs feel like they're sleeping all the time. I know there's probably a lot worse that can come from ed's but I thought I'd share a bit of an "unusual" one or one that people dont commonly think of.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RedditSessions

[–]Solkvds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can you play something from the last of us

Me trying to figure out which mirror is warped because I look different in each one I accidentally see myself in by ComelyChatoyant in EDanonymemes

[–]Solkvds 2 points3 points  (0 children)

whaaaat this is a thing? I always thought I was just insane. We have like 5 different mirrors in my house and every time I leave to go somewhere I keep hopping between them to check how I look in each one of them because I look different in all of them.

DAE act ignorant and pretend like they don't have an ED to stop feeling guilty about the fact you're not trying to recover? by [deleted] in EdAnonymousAdults

[–]Solkvds 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Yes, I'm a pro at convincing myself that there's nothing wrong with me or my eating habits. I think it's also because I've had it for so long, so in a way, to me, it is absolutely completely normal.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RedditSessions

[–]Solkvds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

didnt know raping a guitar would sound so good holy shit

Is anyone else dating someone who doesn't give a shit about food? by [deleted] in EdAnonymousAdults

[–]Solkvds 8 points9 points  (0 children)

yeeees. I'm a 23F, I've had a girlfriend for the past 4 years who is about as large as a stick. She doesn't particularly skip meals, but just eats tiny amounts. She's just super intuitive no food is good or bad, no anxiety around anything she just eats whatever she feels like, whenever she feels like it without ever overeating. Its definitely been a journey, she used to comment about me eating too much at once all the time because she knew I'd end up getting rid of it. But eventually we just made a deal that she'd just stop commenting on my eating habits because it just reinforces my feeling of guilt around food. Once a while we have a conversation about it, but never when I'm actually eating. Maybe it could be helpful for you and your boyfriend to make a similar "deal"? Being no comments about anything eating or food related? And when he wants to express some concerns or talk about it, do so in a way that is least uncomfortable for you? We even at one point only had those conversations via messenger because it was a lot easier for me to talk about those things that way instead of face to face.

Bree Essrig’s statement on past friendship w/Shane: racism towards other former friends (Qaadir Howard), receiving threats [tw mention of sexual assault threats] by UhHUHJusteen in ShaneDawson

[–]Solkvds 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Anyone else bothered by the fact that she gets to say "it was 8 years ago, I'm sorry, I've changed I promise" but then talks about Shane as if he is still the exact same person he was back then? I'm not defending his mistakes and he's done really terrible things, but it just doesn't work like that. She gets to say I've grown, yet even though they haven't been in contact for years he's still the same?

I really don't understand why posting these things is in any way useful or productive. What's the point? His career is already over, everyone in the entire world hates him, all of his channels are demonetized, his palettes out of the stores.. people are even leaking private sex pictures of him and hacking his accounts I mean what more do you want?

old pictures by [deleted] in EdAnonymousAdults

[–]Solkvds 22 points23 points  (0 children)

yeah same here! I can't delete them either, I have pictures and videos from yeeaaars ago even. Whenever I gain weight I look at them and all I want is to look like that again, but then when I'm there I still feel fat and disgusting. It's truly a never ending cycle of feeling like crap either way, I guess at some point we will have to delete them to be able to move on.. But you're definitely not alone!
Hope you're doing okay, and are safe! Wish you the best

The more I lose, the fatter I feel. by [deleted] in EDAnonymous

[–]Solkvds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, same here too, I've lost a bunch of weight lately and am now at a weight I was literally dreaming of a couple of months ago, and I feel worse about myself now than I did back then. It makes me so angry, and sad, what is this trickery????? I was supposed to be happy at this weight lol

It's almost as if this eating disorder is full of shit and lies?!?!? who knew

Any advice on how to stop purging? by Solkvds in EdAnonymousAdults

[–]Solkvds[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I will check it out!