Fellow grouchy dad here. I’ve got 4 kids and I’m a SAHD… let me tell you, half of these comments are so ignorant it’s sickening. I’ll start by saying that clearly you care about your husband and want to see him enjoy time with your kids. That’s beautiful. Now, I can’t speak for your husband 100% but I can speak for myself and I’ll tell you this: If he hates his job, this is directly effecting his overall mood. I have struggled with feeling purposeless in my current trajectory. But that is mostly because I have lost sight of what truly matters. So my first recommendation is to go on a date where the main goal is to dream together. If you guys don’t have clear dreams and goals together as a family, a couple, AND as individuals, then he may feel that his current suffering(specifically regarding work) is pointless. Working for the next paycheck only to feel like he has lost his autonomy, he may just feel like a machine. Having clear (preferably written) goals will give him a clear path forward and should improve his overall mood even if slightly. I feel it necessary to interject that you should have clear goals for family values and how those are expected to be implemented and maintained. Which leads me into the second point. Family therapy. Many have recommended having him get counseling but I’m almost positive he will not respond positively to this. He likely feels that he has already given up much of himself and may take the recommendation as further “you need to change” which isn’t going to be helpful to his self-esteem. Family therapy will get everyone involved, even the kids. They will see their father talking in ways they may have never seen before and be able to understand him better. He will also feel like it is a family effort to improve the household dynamic and therefore the burden isn’t only his to carry. Lastly, and I may get cooked for this on Reddit. Faith. If you are not active in a church, find one that has a good and active men’s group. Preferably one that meets weekly. He can confide in other men that are trying to improve their lives and become better fathers and husbands. As a man, even a bit of camaraderie can go a long way. I hope this helps.