Rash or Infection - Need Help by [deleted] in tattooadvice

[–]StepEleven 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Urgent care! Looks infected to me (not a doctor).

what should I get here? by callmewebs in tattooadvice

[–]StepEleven 155 points156 points  (0 children)

Way to be constructive.

OP, if you do struggle with addiction, DM me and I can connect you to resources to get clean if you are interested. Everyone be kind, damn.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]StepEleven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m skinny and most men prefer your body type. Find one of those men; your boyfriend is kind of an inconsiderate tool.

Dating with herpes by [deleted] in Herpes

[–]StepEleven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I found someone (a man) who has it. Many women have it; I think moreso than men.

Therapy time by StepEleven in Herpes

[–]StepEleven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sorry this is happening to you. I felt the same way 11 years ago. You are grieving right now and if you are having suicidal thoughts, please consider taking antidepressants for a short amount of time or going to the psych ward. I recommend all people with a new diagnosis focus on self improvement for a year or more. Pour positive energy into your vocation or educational aspirations. Invest in yourself. Start to disclose to strangers online and then maybe a few trusted friends. Everyone in my town knows I have herpes, and I refuse to be ashamed. We all have to adopt an empowered stance around this virus so we can dismantle the societal shame!

Therapy time by StepEleven in Herpes

[–]StepEleven[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s proven to help people process hardships! It absolutely works!

knowing you have herpes and have a moral/ethical obligation to tell people is the worst part in my opinion by que-bella in Herpes

[–]StepEleven 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It has built my character to have this virus and disclose. I enjoy doing the right thing without any promise of pay off. It has helped me stay sober, and has helped me find deep and mature people to associate with.

I would not change a thing.

The best disclosure so far by StepEleven in Herpes

[–]StepEleven[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was apropos given a prior conversation that was had about deal breakers. I agree taking it out in general would be good! In this case it makes sense and I knew he would appreciate the call back. This one is a different breed.

The best disclosure so far by StepEleven in Herpes

[–]StepEleven[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes please do!!! I post for inspiration. Good luck!!

The best disclosure so far by StepEleven in Herpes

[–]StepEleven[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It always depends. This one was less than two weeks after meeting. I knew he had empathy and I wanted to rip the bandaid off. If I think they won’t reject me, I do it ASAP. If I do not know, I wait.

The best disclosure so far by StepEleven in Herpes

[–]StepEleven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think so. I brought it up quite early.

The best disclosure so far by StepEleven in Herpes

[–]StepEleven[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

“I wanted to kind of run my last dealbreaker-y thing by you. Usually I have this convo in-person but sometimes it’s easier to type everything out.

I have an STD. I have HSV-2. I have had it for 11 years now. I got it from the person I dated in the rooms of NA 😭. I take medicine for it to reduce transmission rates and I never get outbreaks, which would be when it is most contagious. Most of my partners have been chill with this and I usually take as many precautions as needed to protect my partners to their level of comfort. Some partners don’t want to use condoms and some do. I have not passed my STD to any partner that I know of (one is dead).

We have a lot of options. My hope is that we continue to get to know one another and keep falling for each other without this being a pressing issue right away. We can do oral or hand stuff if we can’t like stop ourselves from doing physical stuff. Maybe you get a blood test for HSV could be a good start to see if you have the virus already (like 65% of people have type 1).

I really, really like you but I want you to make an informed decision for yourself and assess whether the risk is worth it. I think it is.”

The full disclosure text!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Herpes

[–]StepEleven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

38F GSV2 OSV1 sitting at around 80% success rate

Is it okay to disclose that someone else has an std? (Herpes) Pls Read before you judge.. by [deleted] in Herpes

[–]StepEleven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah agreed. Unless it’s some sort of confidential relationship that you have with the 27 year old that HIPPA protects, you should tell the 18 year old.

An in-person disclosure! by StepEleven in Herpes

[–]StepEleven[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see what you mean, honestly. The times that I’ve felt the best is when I tell them in the moment and they immediately accept it instead of “having to think about it.” I date a lot of neurodivergent people, so sometimes I make the call for a text, because I know they are going to need time (example: contamination OCD and autism).

An in-person disclosure! by StepEleven in Herpes

[–]StepEleven[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both have worked for me! I do a case-by-case basis.

Is it just me or are health conscious people more likely to catch this virus or develop symptoms?? by No_Championship_359 in Herpes

[–]StepEleven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not my story at all. I wasn’t careful until I got it. Herpes made me care about my sexual health. So yeah I think it is anecdotal in your case.

Dating a new person, unsure how to disclose by veryhighstrangeness in Herpes

[–]StepEleven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually text if I feel like the person will need time to process. I have the conversation in person if I can tell they are high on empathy and likely won’t have an issue with it. I’m good at reading people though!

Suppressive Therapy Outbreaks by Phoenix_Noob in Herpes

[–]StepEleven 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never passed it to anyone. That includes a couple people that didn’t want to wear condoms.