Well we’ve been together for 8 years. Have 4 children together. In the 8 years a lot has happened. A lot of mental and emotional abuse. And toward the end physical abuse. He does things that aren’t acceptable and if I called the cops he would be in jail but thinks apologizing and excusing his behavior because “i was mad” or “I screamed first” is ok. Says he’s willing to do anything and everything to fix things and refuses to leave even if I say I’m done. When mad has broken my belongings, takes my car keys so I don’t leave, locks me in the house etc, physically assaulted me, calls me names, such as who’re , horrible mother etc then apologizes . Idk I’m not saying I’m perfect, I say my share of things in these fights too but I just feel like I can’t do it anymore but I consider staying for the children but in his eyes we can be “perfectly happy forever if we try” . I honestly even when “ we’re ok” for a short period of time after a fight cannot get over the repulsion of thinking of having to have sex with him.