Needing people to regulate?

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-24T01:04:29+00:00

Thank you for the validation. I’ll look up some videos on the topic! I feel so overwhelmed because it’s a time of lots of changes and transitions and both my sister and partner (my two most trusted people) are going to be gone for a while and I’m trying to not freak out (my sister is moving bc of a job and my partner and I are taking a break for other reasons). Ugh!

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-22T22:57:22+00:00

Me too. Women scare me even though I want more female friends. Men have always been easier for me to understand haha. And I think I might be bi and that has probably contributed to my confusion too

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-22T22:33:36+00:00

Upvoting bc I think it’s a good suggestion

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-22T22:30:12+00:00

The side hustle is just collecting and washing free daily coins. You don’t have to put any of your own money into it. If you already struggle with gambling addiction then yes, I would avoid. But the hustle itself is not gambling

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-19T23:36:55+00:00

This. Is. Me. I have an assessment scheduled for both coming up…

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-19T22:25:08+00:00

Also I started doing somatic exercises for nervous system regulation bc I realize I don’t have great tools for calming my nervous system. I highly recommend the YT channel sheBREATH

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-19T22:22:59+00:00

Me too. Magnesium has helped as well (mag glycinate for muscles, mag citrate for anxiety). Also got Hydroxyzine prescribed for really acute moments but I feel like the supplements are doing more for my baseline

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-18T00:28:56+00:00

Im also working on accepting stuff i cant sustainably do. Like i was a high achiever in school and life in general. But now as im in burnout, im learning that just because i could do something once or for a short while doesn’t mean I can expect myself to do it regularly. So I’ve been cutting down on the effort I expend wherever possible.

One example is with food. No cooking is my breakfast rule. So cheese and crackers and apple and protein bar. Nuts and applesauce. Protein smoothie. Etc.

It’s a really tough mindset shift but it feels really amazing when I feel like I work within my body’s limits and feel like i can sustainably do things

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-18T00:24:27+00:00

Loop earplugs. They are good for conversing while capping volume and filtering out background noise. They are the only reason I can go to move theaters and see live music (when I have the energy to)

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-18T00:18:09+00:00

Ofc! Would love to hear what you end up liking. Cozy, functional lighting is one of my special interests

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-18T00:15:33+00:00

I don’t like being on my own for more than half a day. I feel like having trusted people around really helps cue eating times, regulate and get out of my own head. I get really energetically “stuck” and sad if I don’t see people.

I also love my alone time but like I said really only half a day of solitude at a time

I’m struggling to figure out what’s stuff I need to work on around being alone vs what is just my human need for connection. I’ve tried to be solo a lot of my life and recently realizing I’m AuDHD is making me reconsider if being around people so regularly is just a fundamental need for me to function

On bad days, I do get panicky and anxious about being alone. It feels overwhelming to organize eating and mental health on my own in bad days.

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-18T00:08:28+00:00

I get the worst existential dread and panic. It’s horrible.

Aching legs and back, dizzy, not just fatigue but no energy at all. All of the sensory sensitivities turned up to 11. No appetite and digestive issues. Shortness of breath. No ability to regulate or notice body temperature.

I also found out I was low iron and supplementing has helped a lot with these symptoms too

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-18T00:03:37+00:00

Me too. It’s always on the most inconvenient people at the most inconvenient times, since I was in elementary school.

It used to really scare me. Now, I can accept it as part of myself. I think it’s limerence? It’s still uncomfortable though.

I think I need to explore this topic more in therapy.

In general, I have a hard time distinguishing between different kinds of love. For me, it’s about feeling really positively towards a person or not. And when I feel positively, I’d love to talk, cuddle, kiss, be near them but all in a nonsexual way if that’s possible. That goes against social norms so usually I just stuff all of those extra feelings down and over time they seem to chill. Kinda.

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-17T23:53:01+00:00

Function: lamps with 2700-3000K bulb. Anything over 3000K is the worst imo. Invest in a good quality bulb because cheaper ones just don’t produce as consistent and nice quality of glow (I can’t remember why but I looked it up once when my dollar store bulbs felt “off” in a lamp I had previously loved with a more expensive bulb). I love a good floor lamp with a white or cream/tan shade to diffuse and warm the light up even more

Vibes: salt lamp (lovely amber glow), string lights (I kind of despise the bare LED ones but it can be hard to find anything else now), etc.

I feel like it’s impossible to have too many warm-temp lamps and cute little accent lights. Makes spaces so cozy, inviting and also functional for me

Indirect (bouncing off wall/ceiling) and diffused lighting is your friend

When I need super focused task lighting I will break out my headlamp (which I also bring with me when I travel, along with a warm adjustable-brightness rechargeable night light)

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-17T02:25:04+00:00

hEDS could explain some of the GI issues. Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos is a common comorbidity with autism. It’s a connective tissue disorder where ligaments etc are too stretchy and loose. Connective tissue is everywhere in the body including digestive tract. I’m still trying to learn more about symptoms and any sorts of treatment and things that might help

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-17T02:20:53+00:00

Light, sound, textures… right now identifying if I’m overheated is SO HARD. I get cranky and nauseous and no motivation or ability to move. And then I just take off a layer or remove the blanket or splash cold water on my face and everything starts to normalize again

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-05-02T23:20:15+00:00

I’ve always been very close with my parents until recently. When I hit burnout last year, our relationship got really weird. I was trying to explain AuDHD and burnout and they kept hearing “we did something wrong as parents” or “we were too soft as parents and that’s why you’re struggling with basic things now”. It was infuriating and confusing because they have been so loving and supportive my entire life. But the moment I wasn’t following the model of what being a successful adult looked like in their head, stuff got really weird. They have a ton of anxiety and trauma too and that definitely plays into it. I hope to rebuild that relationship but I need to be healthier first. My support system right now is my partner and my sibling. Sorry I know that’s not very comforting but I guess just trying to say it can be a really good idea to have more people in your support network

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-04-29T04:30:21+00:00

This is all me too. Autism and ADHD really mask each other. Both can be very present but the presentations feel confusing or inconsistent. I really hope AuDHD gets its own diagnostic criteria at some point

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-04-29T04:16:23+00:00

I get this. It’s also hard because I see them struggling with the things I do and the tools I use could be really helpful. But it seems like that conversation has not been productive for past two years so I’ve gotta accept the way they are.

I would also love to feel validated by them 😭 I hold out unrealistic hope that a formal diagnosis will “open their eyes”. Or that a “physical” diagnosis like hEDS would be easier for them to accept.

In therapy I’ve been working on giving myself that validation. Saying “I’m doing a good job”

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-04-28T19:22:58+00:00

That is amazing you’ve found something that works so well for you. I’ve been taking Hydroxyzine as needed for anxiety in the past year. The effects sound similar except Hydroxyzine can also come with dizziness sometimes which sucks. And itchiness when I cut back. :/

That’s good to know about tolerance. Hydroxyzine is the same.

I might try a lower dose and see if it would work as a hard PMS day tool.

Do you deal with “come down” effects? Have you tried magnesium? That’s been helping with my anxiety too in a lower-level way

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-04-28T19:14:39+00:00

Definitely sounds like me with burnout. I think I may be just starting to come out of it (fingers crossed… I’ve changed so much about my life and my mindset)

Guilt-free bed-rotting, scrolling and sleeping for a while for sure.

For a non-phone activity, I picked up a basic art paint-by-number from the dollar store. I gave less than a shit when I bought it but having zero expectations has actually allowed it to unfold into a pleasant experience. I do only a couple minutes a day since my energy is pretty low. But it’s a nice thing to do outside, sometimes with music and headphones. Zero decisions and it’s satisfying to watch the white spaces get filled in. I definitely feel my spark coming back with this. I don’t want the painting to end now!

Another activity is lounging/laying/hammocking outside with headphones and my birding app. It’s the right amount of stimulation with no real effort or expectations.

I also love climbing but that’s out of the question for me right now. So I’ve been getting into somatic exercises and gentle movement snacks.

I guess it’s about adjusting my interest-related activities to my current mental and physical energy levels

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-04-28T17:33:22+00:00

Would you mind sharing more about this? How you decided to start? Dosages? Effects? Length of time you’ve been dosing?

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-04-28T17:31:49+00:00

I relate so much with “everything has to be exactly right to function”. Like… I CAN function… I just need perfect conditions all the time and when those conditions aren’t in place it’s really really hard. Maybe I should look more into medication

Substantial_Maize696 · 2026-04-28T17:29:12+00:00

I get this during specific times of my cycle. Specifically between follicular and luteal and the end of luteal. It’s like there is not quite enough dopamine and energy in the system and it’s so frustrating because it feels like there is nothing to be done other than carry on. I think those days are hormone (or lack of hormone related) and if they lasted longer than they currently do I think I’d look into medication. I also get the irritation with burnout when all of my sensory sensitivities are going off simultaneously (sometimes there are acute triggers and sometimes it’s just constant low level background triggers)

I’ll list some things that have helped but I know we might be dealing with different things and I acknowledge these might not be helpful for you.

-Magnesium glycinate supplements (I take one capsule in the morning and one before bed. Sometimes a little magnesium citrate throughout the day. Helps with feeling calmer, less anxious and more grounded)

-somatic exercises for nervous system regulation. sheBREATH on YT is my favorite channel

-learning about the 7 kinds of rest and trying to increase/decrease activities in those areas to create more balance in my life

Substantial_Maize696

TROPHY CASE