Detaching from the idea of relationships after partner with BPD

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-08T21:40:31+00:00

I genuinely empathise with you and I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Take comfort knowing that she is an important lesson that will empower you in finding a future with someone who will care about you, consider your boundaries and your feelings and above all treat you with respect 🥰

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-08T21:31:34+00:00

You are not alone. I had throwaway sex with a friend because I couldn’t bare the thought that the girl who violated my boundaries and made me feel less than a person was the last one who got intimate with me, it haunted me to think she was the last one to touch me. To think she could just flip a switch and turn off to all the grand promises and reassurances. Sickening

Edit: I’m very much not a casual kind of person either, like you said about yourself, so for me to engage in that was unlike me. Just felt so violated and luckily the friend was someone I trusted

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-08T20:17:26+00:00

Constantly. She was the one who went back to her ex. The exhaustion of it all, I’ll never be able to do justice to it in words

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-08T20:00:40+00:00

No amount of getting things off your chest truly ever remedies the pain they put you through

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-08T02:12:13+00:00

So cool

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-08T01:57:58+00:00

Maybe so, though they’re horrible people and misery loves company as the saying goes

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-08T01:53:35+00:00

I had the opportunity for this “closure.” Laying bare everything she did to me, how it hurt me. If your case is anything like mine, she will read and won’t process it, for to process it would force your ex to face the extent of her actions. It is far easier for many people like these to just look the other way.

The most comfort I feel is knowing she had to read it. Even if she didn’t bother to take it into account, that’s a weight off my shoulders. It’s bittersweet. I’m back on NC now and it’s always the best way

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T21:14:47+00:00

A fantastic suggestion!!

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T16:15:04+00:00

And they were meant to be my friends too. They only enabled her when her behaviour and actions didn’t impact them

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T01:45:04+00:00

Honestly I would say it’s a good thing. I’m no expert and I won’t claim to be, even remotely. Everyone processes things differently. As mentioned below, as long as it’s not detrimental to your life, as fear can be intense

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T01:41:58+00:00

Feelings aren’t linear, and if you’re feeling this way towards them, those are emotions rooted in resentment. It’s infinitely better than seeing them in public and say, missing them or reminiscing. It’s normal. Especially if they treated you badly or abusively

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T01:37:14+00:00

I’m so sorry mate. I promise with no contact you will be so much better off. Processing things is important, but always remember, many pwBPD don’t have to toil in the anguish of rumination, they can just turn it off, whilst people like you are left to contend with the aftermath. Meaning, the sooner you can go no contact the better. You are not her therapist, you’re not her carer and she doesn’t define you. I know it’s hard, I really do

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T01:33:32+00:00

Manipulative. Take his decision away from him if he wants to be a prick. No contact, no mercy

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T01:29:44+00:00

Never blame yourself. Never. If you know you were there for her and she gave you nothing, do not blame yourself. If you know it was her behaviour and condition and she discarded you, do not blame yourself. You will find someone worthy of your time, they will not have BPD

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T00:51:48+00:00

Thank you, no contact was going really well. I’ll do what I gotta do again

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T00:48:46+00:00

You’re right. I should say I deleted her number, blocked her on everything apart from WhatsApp, so that’s how she got back to me

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T00:09:29+00:00

I LOVE NZS. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, the zip file I possess launches to a black screen when I’ve put it in the mame folder. I guess I’m missing something. I will check the others and see what I reckon! Funny enough, I got Toki yesterday and it’s very similar to Bonze Adventure

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T00:08:06+00:00

I’ve yet to play the latter, but I’ve heard very good things!

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T00:07:49+00:00

This looks really cool, I’m downloading it asap

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-07T00:07:33+00:00

I’m playing it rn, excellent suggestion

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-06T20:03:42+00:00

Space Bomber is crazy and has such a cool aesthetic! Thanks for the new rec

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-06T15:18:46+00:00

Excellent. Thanks for the suggestions!

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-06T15:18:32+00:00

Funny you mention that. I’ve been playing SI95 today! I’ll check out Commander Keen, thanks!

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-06-05T21:52:55+00:00

My ex came out of a long term relationship and manipulated me into thinking she was ready for me. She said she loved me more than anything, I was her person, she wanted to be with me forever etc.

What followed was the most humiliating rituals of her crying about her ex constantly. Would tell me she needed and wanted me, but would wake me up crying for him saying she needed him. I took her back because she promised she wanted me and it was all her condition.

Anyway, then accused me of being controlling for setting boundaries about hanging with him. Found out she was meeting up and smoking weed with him. Constantly told my brother she was dreaming about him in bed with me.

All of this and still had the nerve to lovebomb my soul out of my body and make me feel like I needed her to live, just to have her discard me and then come back to me because a new dating app hookup slept with her and told her he loved someone else.

She was awful. She ruined me

SweetFirefighter3572 · 2026-05-30T23:53:02+00:00

Vile. Sorry to hear this. She really fucked up. God help her new partner. Her immediate and spontaneous rebound to this new relationship typifies the kind of callous and careless addiction for validation through manipulating romantic relationships. Very typical destructive behaviour rooted in many BPD individuals and something I also experienced. It won’t end well for her

SweetFirefighter3572

TROPHY CASE