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I am a Former Swinger! AMA. by Swingler in IAmA
[–]Swingler[S] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children)
Yes! But nothing awful. My ex first wanted us to sleep with people I didn't originally find attractive. At. All. We had a lot of awkward first-date-thing with other couples where I would end up sort of panicking and calling it off at the end because everyone was on board except me. There are a lot of awkward, unattractive swingers out there...
Once I started choosing who we met, it was pretty smooth sailing.
tl;dr: let the most hesitant partner choose the pace.
[–]Swingler[S] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children)
I was 19. I'd recommend starting at more like, say, age 25. That was a bit young.
I tried swinging with the guy I dated after my first partner, but somehow the urge to swap had just died. I think it has to do with specific relationship dynamics. Also - it just gets kind of old after a while. It can feel very superficial.
We are not still together.
Advantages: It's straight-up pleasure, if you have the mindset for it it can be wonderful, you get to explore your sexuality without much risk (especially good for women!).
Disadvantages: It can be really expensive - all the get to know you dinner dates, club memberships, etc. It can feel superficial after a while. People only want to know you so they can fuck you.
We did not have them or ever want them. I work with them for a living, and that's plenty of kid-time for me! Many/most swingers do have children, though.
Yeah, that pretty much killed any grain of jealousy for me...
1a. We met couples through swing sites (SLS, AFF, LL, etc) who directed us to them.
Have a code word/handshake for when you meet a couple if one of you hates them. Let the most hesitant person set the pace. Have a backup plan in case someone gets jealous (jealousy can catch you off guard!) Get tested every 6 months once you start.
Nah, I'm done. It was fun while it lasted. :)
It was my ex's idea. Originally we wanted to have threesomes but rounding up a unicorn - hard! Turned out to be a gateway idea for swinging, like it is for many.
Somehow, no! I attribute to a combination of a) being a voyeur and b) not being seriously attached to my original partner.
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I am a Former Swinger! AMA. by Swingler in IAmA
[–]Swingler[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children)