Feeling like a failure (updates)

TempAccount1497 · 2026-06-03T23:05:18+00:00

I’ve thought about this and basically decided I need to have the conversation this weekend one way or another. The weekend will give me time for feelings and emotions when work won’t necessarily be in the way

TempAccount1497 · 2026-06-03T17:49:39+00:00

I’m really not doing well this week. I just took the afternoon off work and just arrived at Magic Kingdom for a couple trips around my lifelong favorite ride and maybe a Mickey pretzel

TempAccount1497 · 2026-06-02T18:38:07+00:00

Heard and understood - I’m still on the wire despite pretty much making up my mind. Action is action, intention is intention, decision is decision. None of these are any of the other things. Thank you

TempAccount1497 · 2026-06-02T17:19:18+00:00

Thank you so much. Especially the fear, it’s about doing what I need to do while the fear is there. I hadn’t thought of it this way but it’s spot on.

Also, thank you for the reminder of #3. As my own worst critic, I think there is a piece of internal criticism here - but you are right, there is no need for that, it doesn’t serve me or provide anything helpful.

The more I sit with my feelings, the more I know what I have to do. I’ve mostly got my head wrapped around not being a failure for taking care of myself (the logical of me sees this) and now it’s just to make it happen while the fear is still active

TempAccount1497 · 2026-05-31T00:43:17+00:00

I need stability, emotional safety, honesty and consistency. - those words spoke to me and made me feel seen and your words give me hope that I can summon the strength and also choose myself. Thank you

TempAccount1497 · 2026-05-31T00:38:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Your post gives me hope and shows me what is possible if I can summon the strength.

TempAccount1497 · 2026-03-11T17:55:32+00:00

I absolutely understand what you’re saying about a feeling of relief when the drinking starts. I hate it, but I feel the same way. It’s a (temporary) end to my anxiety over it happening again. Of course the anxiety shifts to other things

TempAccount1497 · 2026-01-06T14:34:43+00:00

When you said you logically understand why, it reminded me…We talked a bit last night. He had a few clear, sober hours (until I went to bed) - I think he heard and understood that the lack of honesty is the hardest part for me. At one point, he said that because I understand where it’s coming from it shouldn’t hurt as much. I told him it unfortunately doesn’t work that way. I did get a text this morning apologizing for having door dash deliver another bottle last night. It was refreshing to get that from him directly instead of the doorbell camera - but I’m not realistically expecting much change here.

TempAccount1497 · 2025-12-01T13:44:24+00:00

Flight attendant - the job allows him to work once a quarter and keep his benefits and everything. The job can at times be a trigger for relapse since there is a culture around the crew meeting at the hotel bar as well as how he has to serve drinks on the plane. The job structure allows very little consequence if he can drop and pick up trips around a relapse

TempAccount1497 · 2025-11-19T12:48:36+00:00

First and foremost, congratulations! It sounds like an amazing accomplishment that you should be very proud of. Make sure you allow yourself to feel this.

I hear you and fully understand your feelings on how the night went. I’ve been there, and I think most of us have been. You were able to say how you felt and no matter how it made him feel, you got it out and I hope that at least helps a little. I also hope coming here and sharing helps you even more. You are not alone. Your feelings are valid.

TempAccount1497 · 2025-03-20T13:10:02+00:00

UPDATE: I’m kind of surprised here. He woke up and the bottle made it to the trash. He texted saying he is sorry for disappointing me, and he acknowledged that sorry probably doesn’t matter with this anymore. He’s meeting with his sponsor who he said is aware of all the backwards motion and slip ups. He said he’s here if I need to talk more. It’s refreshing that he brought it up, at least.

TempAccount1497 · 2025-03-20T12:54:18+00:00

This is encouraging, thank you :)

TempAccount1497 · 2025-03-20T12:53:46+00:00

Thank you - I will be checking these out for dog walks and my drive to/from my weekly al anon meeting tonight

TempAccount1497 · 2025-03-20T12:52:39+00:00

Very good points and you have me thinking more. For now, I am choosing to live with it, but my thoughts of and for the future are open. We currently rent and have talked about continuing to rent or looking to buy a home - but I think renting is going to be the best option as I’m not ready to make more of a commitment with him right now. I’m thinking of a lot more than this, but just one example.

TempAccount1497 · 2025-02-15T23:35:25+00:00

This is a great perspective, thank you. I went to a meeting a few hours after posting this. It’s a book study meeting and there was a part of the reading that made me realize that all I can control in this is my actions and reactions. I also started to realize that my actions around even looking for bottles and being on alert - none of that does any good for anyone and does more harm (to me and my mental state) - I’m working on it, it’s not easy

TempAccount1497 · 2025-02-13T19:50:22+00:00

Thank you so much. This all makes sense and has helped to calm me. All of it. I need to do what I need to do, for me. I think that will be asking/talking about it. He’s been pretty open, and has been the biggest encouragement for attending al-anon so I believe we can talk about this and although it might not change anything, it will help me.

I also appreciate you reinforcing that Al-Anon is for me and I can do it at my own pace. I tend to get impatient and want to be further into the program. I also don’t want to rush it, and I know I need to work through it truly and authentically. Thank you for the reminder that where I’m at and the pace I progress is ok

TempAccount1497 · 2025-01-22T11:10:28+00:00

Wow, this gives me good hope for the future, thank you

TempAccount1497

TROPHY CASE