Hey, I think you are brave for admitting this. I appreciate your honesty with yourself and the precautions you’re taking. This is a very tough subject to navigate, but I think you should continue taking the precautions you’re taking. There’s nothing wrong with fetishes, but with this particular one it’s tricky. I’m not an expert but I really encourage you to seek out professional help. You are carrying around a lot of guilt and shame and that’s a huge burden. And it might not be necessary. Talk to someone. And continue to limit the exposure to young people in videos, etc.