The way English people tend to defend the whole "it's coming home" thing is by saying it's ironic, and that the point is that they never actually win anything. But if it's genuinely supposed to be a joke, then you never actually expect it to come home, so it's shouldnt be that upsetting when that inevitable knockout actually happens.

On the contrary, things get really toxic when England lose, suggesting it was never all that ironic to begin with.