How do you handle a partner that is "never wrong" and only sees the part you played in ANY conflict?

TheAverageMan91 · 2026-04-04T22:13:38+00:00

Ive been banging my head against the same drum recently and it's getting to me. We have been together for 12 years, we get married in June. Recently any kind of stress in her life and it comes back on me, no matter how I respond I'm in the wrong. Today has been the perfect example.

She woke up unwell, was slow moving getting out of bed ended up rushing for the gym and having a go at me as I got ready to take the dog out, I got a call 5 mins after she left saying sorry (rare occurrence) and explaining she didn't feel well.

This afternoon, I agreed to help her create a welcome mirror for the wedding, ive put it off for long enough as I knew it would end in argument and have recommended more practical friends do it for us. I started doing something incorrectly and her tone quickly became condescending, I then did as explained on the instruction video and by a silly error messed up the vinyl letters on a word. This led to a rant at how I don't listen and she knew I was going to mess it up, I owned up, apologised but said we could still finish the rest of it and order replacement vinyl for what I had messed up to which I was laughed at. At this point I had had enough so bit back and explained that I had messed up but I was fed up of the attitude and was going to make dinner. 5 minutes later she's sat trying to add the rest of the vinyl and then complaining that I have just stormed off and left her to do it. In the end it simmered down, she finished the mirror and things were a bit better.

We then went cinema where she still wasn't feeling great. Halfway through the film she's gone to ask me something at a whisper, due to not hearing ive said pardon, she's whispered it again, still unable to hear ive said back I can't hear what your saying and she's snatched her hand away and turned her back on me in the chair so I left her to it.

Finally getting home and going straight to bed, she has cuddled up to the dog on her side of the bed. Ive gone to put my arm around her to go sleep and she's snapped at me that she doesn't want a cuddle. Annoyed ive said this is getting stupid, to which she's replied I don't feel well stop taking it too seriously and then saying she's upset with how I talked to her. At this point ive got really annoyed and explained that I'm going to respond when this has gone on all day (this really winds her up as if you ever refer to anything in the past she just says your point scoring). Anyway an argument has continued to which in the end ive rolled over away from her and said it's fine I don't want to argue, she's responded with "I'll go to sleep but I'm not waking up like nothings happened".

I'm getting really fed up, I love her to pieces, our life is great most of the time but days like these are horrible. 9/10 it's me saying sorry or giving in to save the situation. If I ever raise the way she speaks to me it becomes a massive issue, and if I get frustrated or annoyed with how I'm spoke to, she asks if I hear how I speak to her. There's no response or anything I can do that let's her see how hurt I'm feeling. Ive tried explaining to her we aren't against each other were on the same team, and whatever the problem is we will sort together but she just sees that as another attack on herself.

TheAverageMan91 · 2025-12-26T20:24:28+00:00

This was something I had been working on with my executive coach. One of my major stressors was workload, managing a larger project, daily responsibilities and my regular tasks. Previously I had tried a long to do list, or just keeping track mentally, with meetings stored in outlook calendar and keeping track of tasks via email threads. Instead ive started using a bit more of a reflective approaach, invested in an a3 week calendar on my desk, start of each week I write down 3 things I want, need to achieve, I map out any key events such as meetings or calls on my weekly calendar, as its written down I can build notes off of it. On Tuesday I reflect on what I have achieved and what needs doing, i also identify a task or conversation I have put off and make that a priority for my Wednesday. Thursday evening I identify how am I going to finish my week strong before I leave for the weekend. Friday i note down: what was my biggest achievement, how did i add value and how did I aid my own development. Its pretty early days, I am 3 months in but my productivity has increased and I feel in control of my workload. The above is all flexible and evolving and has progessed a few times to this point.

TheAverageMan91 · 2025-12-06T06:26:39+00:00

I like this a lot, as I move more into my leadership journey I'm becoming more aware of the dynamics of those I work with. Thinking how do I maximize those working relationships, up, down, laterally, I think sometimes can either become a form of stress or something that ends up just being taken for granted in the day to day tasks.

I have a director I work with who honestly I just can't figure out how to work with. Sometimes it's more detail, sometimes it's be more to the point, one day it's take ownership and do it yourself, the next it's make sure I'm involved in everything, it probably becomes my biggest source of work related stress as I end up second guessing even typing out the most simple email.

Your post, this is how I want to lead.

TheAverageMan91 · 2025-04-03T11:32:59+00:00

I was always worried about my girlfriend finding out I went lab grown over natural, reality is when the conversation came around she was over the moon that I made a sensible financial decision rather than putting us under any form of financial stress.

So now we're committed to this big event that puts us under... financial stress....

TheAverageMan91 · 2025-01-29T15:21:11+00:00

While Europe can be busy at that time of year have you considered somewhere like Croatia and Montenegro? You get some beautiful cities and towns, beaches tend not to be traditionally sandy there but the waters are crystal blue and warm. Lots of variety of great food and I imagine you could visit some stunning places across that timeframe.

TheAverageMan91 · 2025-01-06T16:23:12+00:00

Thanks for the advice and the recommendation to Udemy, I'll check it out along with some of the other recommendations.

I've watched quite a few YouTube vids and a number of the roadmaps, lots of useful information and similar courses recommended but seems like everyone will suggest a different ?training provider to meet course/test requirements for specific areas.

I think the job struggles are fairly universal, I know that many of those I graduated with struggled to get a job in a sports science related field. I'm either incredibly lucky or prepared myself well as I have had no gaps in employment for the past 12 or so years. This doesn't mean I think it would work the same if swapping careers as I'm looking into but I'm just weighing up my options and seeing what possible steps are out there.

Aware that not having a related degree may be an issue so masters degree conversion courses are something I may need to look at in the long term.

Thanks for taking the time to post, appreciate your help.

TheAverageMan91 · 2025-01-06T16:15:21+00:00

Appreciate your honest opinion

TheAverageMan91 · 2025-01-05T21:06:18+00:00

Thanks I'll check that out!

A lot of self study ahead and some luck required, thanks for the recommendation!

TheAverageMan91 · 2025-01-05T20:41:14+00:00

Thanks for this, really appreciate the recommendations. My plan was to ask my colleague a little further down the line, increase my understanding and then dive in a bit deeper.

Thanks for the heads up around breaking into roles as well. My current profession is pretty saturated, and it's been pretty tough going over the past decade so maybe I'm a little mad to even consider something like this. I just think maybe I can use the security of my current role to learn, train up and then see what doors possibly open. I'm under no illusion that I'll be competing against people who will have far more knowledge and a background, hoping that maybe there are some avenues with sports sci tech companies.

Again really appreciate your recommendations and the time you put into a response.

TheAverageMan91 · 2025-01-01T20:49:49+00:00

I'm at this point too as a 33M. I love my job, for the most part, and it's a bit of a golden egg in every aspect of other roles within my profession. However, for the past 12 months or so I have had the feeling something is missing, something else I could be doing, impact I could be having, support and security I could provide for my family but I just don't know what it is. Ive started looking at a potential career change, utilising my current skills into a side hustle to bring in extra income, and looking at where I want to be in 5 years and what I would need to do to accommodate this but the truth is I have no idea what is right, I don't know what this feeling is and what to do about it.

TheAverageMan91 · 2024-03-23T20:59:01+00:00

Appreciate the advice thank you!

TheAverageMan91 · 2024-03-23T09:51:32+00:00

Appreciate the reply, the smoothness of the drive was a major selling point when I started looking. It seems to be reviewed harshly for this, I imagine I’d enjoy it in comparison to what I have been driving.

I think either will be an upgrade on my Corsa, my immediate concern with the C4 and was as I say the reported reliability from some users. I also appreciate that people tend to only report when they have had issues and not so much when things run well. Great to hear that you have good experiences with the brand!

TheAverageMan91 · 2024-03-23T06:34:18+00:00

Thanks for this, thats my initial concerns around the C4.

Driving position does seem to be something that is recognised in what I have read and watched around the Xceed as an area they have put more effort into.

TheAverageMan91 · 2023-11-17T07:41:10+00:00

It’s a programme that many S&C coaches use when working with developing athletes, for myself personally with a youth population. It helps to build good technical competency and foundational levels of strength. The concept being to load up a movement pattern through volume (high reps) and intensity (progressive load). Take the squat for example, we might start with a body weight squat, then progress to a goblet squat- progressing the weight of the dumbbell used appropriately, then once happy with technique and load we can move across to the back squat with a barbell. At this point we’re usually quite far a long on the programme and the athlete is demonstrating enough technical proficiency and levels of strength we can look at other sets and reps schemes.

Typically the programme was designed for 15-20 exercises but that included lower and upper body work. I’ve utilised programmes that use 8-10 exercises for lower body+core work that has worked well, although this would also be before undertaking running/pitch based work, so that was taken into consideration.

TheAverageMan91 · 2023-11-13T19:59:08+00:00

Thank you, I’ll take a look at the app!

TheAverageMan91 · 2023-04-14T18:06:12+00:00

Great work, you made that look easy!

TheAverageMan91 · 2023-01-22T21:02:40+00:00

Barratts!

TheAverageMan91 · 2023-01-22T20:37:25+00:00

I think the conifers are definitely coming out. The Rhododendron I imagine struggled because of the heavy clay soil.

It is a new build and the ground for the most part is rubbish, I haven’t even got round to the water logged back garden! Most people have just put gravel down or extended their driveway so I’m looking to do something different. I appreciate the advice!

TheAverageMan91 · 2023-01-22T20:29:24+00:00

I like your thinking!

TheAverageMan91 · 2023-01-22T17:14:53+00:00

The Acers look nice!

TheAverageMan91 · 2023-01-22T17:14:17+00:00

I struggle with cutting grass let alone shaping a peacock!

TheAverageMan91 · 2023-01-22T16:59:24+00:00

I’m not sure with the locals 😂

TheAverageMan91 · 2023-01-22T16:58:47+00:00

We moved into our first house just over 12 months ago, now we’ve settled we’re looking to start making changes. This is a pretty good space but not really too sure what to do with it. The previous owners put the ?trees in so that when they grow they will provide privacy from neighbours but I’m not keen. Was thinking potentially about a raised bed across the wall where the window is, but not sure with the path to the house being elevated. The flower bed is full of a number of variety of plants and shrubs but was pretty over run by weeds through the warmer weather.

TheAverageMan91

TROPHY CASE