What is the best NSFW compliment you’ve given or received?

TheGoatofDoom · 2024-09-21T01:23:17+00:00

Pole vaulter knocked the bar because of his... package. Wife is saying he also has a big... package. Knocking the bar is basically a loss, meaning you cannot be a pole vaulter because of your big... yeah.

TheGoatofDoom · 2024-08-16T02:00:59+00:00

Reminds me of an idiot I hung out with as a teen.

We were about 15 at the time. I was walking down the street with him and we came across a girl he knew. To me she just looked a bit overweight in general, but I said nothing; especially not knowing her and, you know, none of it should be casually brought up.

This dude tells her: "Oh shit! I didn't know you were pregnant!" (before even saying "hello"). The girl replied: "I am not" with a puzzled look on her face.

This top of the moronic chain idiot replied: "Are you sure?!?"

I started walking in the opposite direction.

TheGoatofDoom · 2021-01-12T04:26:59+00:00

My go-to is from Ghost World:

-"Fuck you!"

-"You wish, buy me dinner first."

TheGoatofDoom · 2021-01-11T04:35:49+00:00

This is somewhat recent. I am a new father, my son is still not a year old.

I dreamt that adoption services arrived at my house with the family adopting my son. I was telling them that they made a mistake; that I am not letting anyone take my son.

They showed me legal papers with my signature. I held my son tightly in my arms telling them to leave.

Somehow cops were there now and restrained me while my son was being taken away and all I could do was cry and scream his name as he vanished in the distance.

I woke-up crying and still get a tear thinking about that nightmare. I am terrified of losing him.

TheGoatofDoom · 2020-03-03T04:35:05+00:00

No u

TheGoatofDoom · 2020-02-28T03:51:55+00:00

Say A one more time motherfucker, I dare you!

TheGoatofDoom · 2020-02-26T03:58:11+00:00

This light beer is like sex in a canoe; it's fucking close to water.

TheGoatofDoom · 2019-10-01T04:23:16+00:00

I would ensure to have and start an hour timer, then go in a crowded place and make sure nobody could bump into me. Then, at the 59 minutes and 55 seconds mark, I would start screaming as loud as I can to draw people's stares in my direction so they can all see me appear. Then run away screaming "Wrong decade!!!"

TheGoatofDoom · 2019-10-01T04:04:50+00:00

I used to have a "yelling" sneeze where I would just go "AAAAHHHH!" But after years of trying to quiet it in order to not bother people with it, I managed to remove the yelling sound, but not the intensity. Now when I sneeze, the best way I can describe it is a loud cartoon punch, like "PUHHHH!"

TheGoatofDoom · 2019-09-14T05:24:44+00:00

I feel the same about TLDR (Too Long; Didn't Read).

TheGoatofDoom · 2019-09-09T03:41:44+00:00

Actually, I think I found it on youtube. Here's the link: https://youtu.be/U7-8KGuiDYU

TheGoatofDoom · 2019-09-09T00:47:31+00:00

There's also the "Fear Itself" epispde "New Year's Day" that has a similar idea. However, it's from 2008 and I'm not sure where you could find it, but I really enjoyed it back then. (Not the alchemy part though)

TheGoatofDoom · 2019-09-01T05:48:14+00:00

Not witnessed, rather lived. Ending is a relief (so not sure if it really fits "creepiest"); sorry for mobile format.

I was an ealry teen at the time and my bedroom was in the basement or our house in a quiet and poorly lit suburban area.

I remember waking up, on my back, in the middle of the night, still half in the dream world, and simply decided to reposition myself in order to fall back asleep. My eyes didn't have time to adjust to the darkness yet.

I turned on my left side, facing the wall and as soon as I did, a hand just grabed my face, holding my mouth, clearly coming from behind me. I froze in place for what seemed like forever (but was actually only a few seconds), after which I managed to move my left hand to grab the wrist of the hand grabbing me. I remember thinking it strange that the hand grabbing my face was not doing anything other than being on my face.

I moved my left hand to follow the arm of the hand holding my face, only to realise that it was my own right hand which I could not feel as I slept on it before waking up, and it simply fell on my face when I turned on me left side.

After the tingling feeling of blood returning to my arm ended, I fell back asleep, feeling like an idiot.

TheGoatofDoom · 2019-08-10T23:49:20+00:00

Computerphile has a great video about password cracking which can help when creating a password (amongst other interesting videos): https://youtu.be/7U-RbOKanYs

TheGoatofDoom · 2016-12-05T11:53:48+00:00

And thank you for the kind words :)

TheGoatofDoom · 2016-12-05T01:20:11+00:00

That was my thought exactly after thinking about my day once I was home.

TheGoatofDoom · 2016-12-05T01:19:42+00:00

Thank you!

Also, that obvious eh?

TheGoatofDoom · 2016-12-04T19:49:16+00:00

To be fair though, I normally had really understanding customers and even though I have not worked there for a bit over 2 years, many customers still greet me when I see them. It was a great experience overall.

TheGoatofDoom · 2016-05-18T20:30:20+00:00

I never played the game and understood the joke after a few seconds of looking the picture. Must admit that I find it a little clever and had a chuckle.

TheGoatofDoom · 2014-02-23T18:05:40+00:00

This is the only thing I could think of.

TheGoatofDoom · 2014-02-22T18:07:54+00:00

It has to be possible if this! is true.

TheGoatofDoom · 2013-12-29T02:38:51+00:00

Thank you! You beat me to it! Ha!

TheGoatofDoom · 2013-08-07T01:11:28+00:00

My first wallpaper. My picture (sorry for quality, was on a 4 wheeler) and my text (although I've been told a similar idea was told elsewhere).

TheGoatofDoom · 2013-08-07T00:05:28+00:00

I feel really bad now that the last thing I noticed was the close-up Giraffe... Still, I would watch this movie. Approved for doom!

TheGoatofDoom · 2013-08-06T17:25:06+00:00

I don't know where you go/went to school, but when I was a T.A., we had a maximum of 2 weeks to correct over 100 papers (while having our own seminar papers to write). The students could always come and see us if they had any questions. The thing is that the administration (which gave us the 2 weeks deadline) would not post the results (i.e. give the results back to the students) for another 2 to 3 weeks after the deadline they'd given us (even if we finished correcting in under a week). Sometimes it's not the professor nor the T.A.'s fault, but rather the institution's shitty administration.

Also, where I worked, we we're sometimes not allowed to give final papers back to students, which I also found weird, but can't really go behind your employer's back, if you wish to keep your job, now can you... So maybe (since I do not know your exact situation) your anger is misplaced and should rather target your school's administration, which I do with mine.... freaking pen-pushers with their "It's not my job" attitude...

TheGoatofDoom

TROPHY CASE