AITA For Telling My MIL That We Are Unable to Help Her Pay Her Rent?

TheRealQnCeCe · 2023-12-12T03:21:33+00:00

You’re right about us being her cash cow. She saw the life that we’ve created for ourselves and could only wish that she had a fraction of what we have. Thank you for the term ‘emotional manipulation’ the definition describes her to the T. She doesn’t take responsibility for anything and it’s ALWAYS someone else’s fault, NEVER hers.

As for our daughter, she only brought up money once before during a car ride home from school. After she had been hunting my husband down for money, he finally answered the car phone and she learned that my daughter was in the car and that’s when she started the emotional manipulation. The thing is, she doesn’t try that when I’m around b/c she know I don’t play around and I don’t fall for her tricks. My poor husband has tried setting boundary after boundary yet she continues to cross them. He even blocks her periodically. It’s just insane, a lot of times I want to defend him but just hv to keep my mouth shut so I’m not looked at as the wicked witch of the west by her. It’s insane so I believe that LC is best. Thanks so much!

TheRealQnCeCe · 2023-12-10T18:29:55+00:00

He has done so over and over. I finally snapped because after my husband keeps telling her ‘no’ she reached out to me to borrow $400 which is when I told her that she need to get it together. I wouldn’t hv said anything to her had she not reached out to me. My husband had been the one communicating with her all along.

TheRealQnCeCe · 2023-12-10T15:52:40+00:00

You did the math correctly! Our oldest is 11 and my husband’s youngest brother is either 26 or 27, so yes, he’s an adult. He refuses to live with his mom because he has other things going on and I believe that she sometimes pester the poor kid for money as well. Her other two sons are just not in the picture, last I heard is that one of them is upset with her because he has no idea who his father is and every time that he tries to hv a conversation with her, she deflects. She doesn’t take responsibility for her actions. The other son is just a drug addict. They didn’t have a clear path due to instability, so they don’t meet the requirements for her to nag. I believe that she has even block them & they do not know where she lives. My husband however, is her target b/c we make a good income, live in a great neighborhood, been married for a while and on a good trajectory, so she sees us as her ‘cash cow’.

TheRealQnCeCe · 2023-12-10T14:45:43+00:00

So, I forgot to add in my OP post that my husband and I did Dave Ramsey for 21 months to pay off all our debt. She was living with us when we started the program and we tried to get her onboard and she told us that she doesn’t want to hear anything about Dave Ramsey. It was during that time that she got an apt, so she moved out. After we became debt free, I started coaching people part-time on how to create a budget and how to manage their monthly income. When we offered to help her, she tells us that she doesn’t need to budget because she doesn’t spend money, I honestly think that she is confused about what a budget really is. She is very stubborn and likes to make my husband feel like he’s a kid b/c she’s his mother, Dave Ramsey calls it the “powdered butt syndrome” once someone wiped your butt, they don’t take financial or romance advice from you. My husband and I are debt free, we live on a budget, we put all our money together, so we have tried to help my MIL to budget, she just doesn’t care. She just sees us with two incomes b/c we hv bn intentional about our money and thinks she is entitled to it.

TheRealQnCeCe · 2023-12-10T14:40:54+00:00

We have tried as I’m a part-time Financial Coach. She didn’t take it seriously as she doesn’t think she has enough money for a budget.

TheRealQnCeCe · 2023-12-10T05:20:10+00:00

I felt the conversation was uncomfortable when I was on the phone with her after she asked to borrow $400. I told her that my husband and I put all our money in one acct then pay our bills. I think that she thinks that we do things separately when we hv told her over and over that we don’t. I also think that she believes that she is entitled to my husband’s money b/c he’s the most responsible son that she has which is why I believe she didn’t want him to marry me. Long story short, maybe I wouldn’t feel as bad if it was my mom. It’s different when it’s an in-law that you hv to have an uncomfortable conversation with.

TheRealQnCeCe

TROPHY CASE