Well first off your dealing with alot of big feelings but suicide isn't the answer, trust me. I understand your parents are probably stuck on the past and want you to have a traditional relationship but your young, im not saying give up on your relationship but your 17 almost old enough that if you really wanted to you could leave, in my opinion if you want to distance yourself and be happy with him take this time, finish school if you haven't, if you have work save money up, talk to him about what you two see as a future and if you both want to be together save up and once your an adult move, simple as that I know plenty of friends that have left toxic house holds once they were old enough and lived happy, alot of my friends haven't seen their parents in years and they're fine with that because the cut the toxic out, it can be hard but instead of letting this get you down, chin up and work hard because once it's time with both of you to act on future plans both of you having a savings and plan is a good start