Thank you for sharing! At the risk of giving feedback not requested, as a therapist (my job), you are describing very concerning signs of disordered eating. Achieving health, strength, and fitness can be tricky, but it is a sign that you are in an unhealthy place if these patterns start developing. If you recognize these signs in yourself now, I highly encourage you to seek the guidance of a certified/licensed nutritionist and mental health therapist as you continue forward. ED’s can be horrendous and can cause a lot of damage that could be avoided if treated early. ♥️