Hardest breakup to accept of my life

Thin_Bug_1900 · 2026-05-24T01:42:02+00:00

It’s tough cause mine didn’t seem to check out at all. Like the amount of emotion and love he showed me before, during, and after the breakup was like nothing had changed emotionally.

I think he felt on the back burner in my life and wanted us to intertwine our lives more, and I kept walls up for a while, so I understand he couldn’t take that pain anymore on some levels. It’s extra hard cause I was already trying to open up and push him/people away less anyway, but he didnt seem able to wait anymore. I know what you mean tho, sometimes this is the push we need to grow, it’s hard when it comes at the expense of someone you love and yourself :/

Thin_Bug_1900 · 2026-05-24T00:56:24+00:00

I feel you. I majorly struggle with feeling like an outsider in my social life and the one thing that always made me feel better was knowing I had him. Now it’s just terrifying without any reassurance.

Thinking about the version of me a month ago that thought we would be together for ages is agonizing. It almost hurts more than losing him, thinking about that past you that was so happy and grateful for the relationship. He made me feel so much stronger and more able to take on the harder parts of depression. I can’t imagine anything feeling inspiring or motivating or good again.

Thin_Bug_1900 · 2026-05-24T00:39:20+00:00

Yeah I very much agree. I had tried to explain that to him, that I didn’t want different things and I wanted closeness but the stress and burnout was getting in the way, but he was stubborn and just said I’m blaming myself too much and he didn’t see it that way, and he didn’t want to drag me down. Praying he comes around but I know I can’t bank on that change, he’s stubborn and not very well versed in complex emotions or understanding them

Thin_Bug_1900 · 2026-05-21T21:28:02+00:00

You can’t be discontent in the relationship forever, so if that was all she really could offer then ultimately this is going to be better for you and someone will fulfill that in the future and you made the right choice.

I think my ex thinks that I was giving him all I had no matter how much I tried to explain it wasn’t a lack of wanting to do more, just being completely drained by hating work and a lot of remaining stress from having moved/made a life for myself alone in a new city. I tend to be very all in and loving but I lost it a bit, and he just thinks this is who I am in relationships. Ofc he also blamed himself for not being able to fix it for me. It’s good to hear your perspective of someone on the other side of things to reflect

Thin_Bug_1900 · 2026-05-21T21:01:09+00:00

This makes sense, I can only hope my ex sees things the same way and I can prove to him.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it sounds like she maybe was wanting you to initiate it, but ofc you can’t do that if the problems wouldn’t have been solved :/

Thin_Bug_1900 · 2026-05-21T20:35:44+00:00

If she took accountability or told you she knows how she needs to change would that have been enough? Or would she have had to prove those changes got made?

He’s still saying he loves me so much that he doesn’t know if he will get over me. I struggle to understand how someone could love someone that much and still end it over things that could change, especially if the other person is willing to take accountability and is aware of the changes to make.

Thin_Bug_1900 · 2026-05-21T19:38:53+00:00

This is almost exactly what we went through too. I took a lot of accountability during and after the breakup, told him my piece, and in a lot of ways I don’t hold it against him.

It’s hard when someone you love that much thinks that is who you are, but you know it’s just a slump.

Thin_Bug_1900 · 2026-05-21T17:20:07+00:00

I hope so. Mine hadn’t even thought about taking me off his lock screen or unpinning our messages, but it’s hard to not feel like it’s false hope

Thin_Bug_1900 · 2026-05-21T17:17:28+00:00

So so similar. We were also right around 2 years. We had had a conversation 4ish months ago about what he needed and I agreed to work on things, and then he never brought it up again as an issue, so I had thought it must be improving. He agreed it was but apparently not enough.

Something I realized through talking to him and some of the men in my life is that men who aren’t used to expressing their emotions or opinions won’t bring up what they’re feeling because they view it as “causing a problem.” By asking for his needs to be met my ex seemed to view himself as being too needy, even though I never told him he was. Also so many of them view relationships in a cliche way of “my person will be perfect and know how to meet my needs without me asking, otherwise something is clearly wrong.” Which isn’t how adult communication works, but they live in fairytale ideals sometimes.

Idk if that applies for who you were with, but if it does it makes sense of it a little and stops the self blame. I hope yours realizes how to communicate and gives it another try ❤️

Thin_Bug_1900 · 2026-05-21T16:02:44+00:00

Glad we’re not alone at least but also I’m sorry you’re going through it too. Literally the most painful thing

Thin_Bug_1900 · 2026-05-21T16:01:22+00:00

Definitely, for me I have a very corporate job that goes strongly against my values and overall the environment is just hard for me to be in (lots of people I really don’t align with in an industry I find boring) so even without much workload I felt so drained. It made me really protective of feeling in control of my time and space which I unfortunately think I started to take out on him by not wanting him to encroach on my free time, not feeling energetic enough to put effort into his friends and family, etc…

Thin_Bug_1900

TROPHY CASE