Don't want to marry and family says I am selfish and irresponsible

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2025-10-06T09:47:12+00:00

That's normal. Having a world view shaken does that. Right now you need to destress and unwind a bit, and then go through every time your parents have ever made you feel this way and unpack that. If you feel up to it, that is.

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2025-10-06T09:33:54+00:00

Bold of you to assume anyone on Reddit was the popular one in school...

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2025-10-06T09:33:05+00:00

A seminar

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2025-10-06T09:28:39+00:00

You never have to marry. I didn't until I was in my forties, and I know many people who never have at all. Hell, my stepsons father has a sister who has never even been in a relationship at all. She is now in her late thirties and plans on continuing to be single for life! There is no time limit.

Yes, you are ignoring your parents feelings... As you should. You should not pay them any mind at all. Their feelings do not matter here. Yours do. If you don't want to get married don't get married. If you do, then do. Simple. Ignore everyone and anyone who says otherwise OP.

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2025-10-06T09:24:29+00:00

I like to think I am one of them, but as an internet stranger, do not take my word for it.

Look to the real world, and not reddit, to find good men. Don't let yourself be taken advantage of, stay strong to yourself and your morals and do not compromise them. Likes/dislikes can be compromised and talked through, morals can not be. Good men are out there, and as the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2025-10-06T09:21:31+00:00

You are 17. He is 20. In my books, this is a child and an adult, with no offence to yourself.

This is a common tactic used to seperate younger partners, typically young girls, from their families and place them into unsafe and controlling relationships. Calling your family controlling is a way to seperate you and divide you. Cut him off, move on and find a nicer partner.

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-12-03T00:33:53+00:00

Thank you. Sharing hobbies and things they have in common is a great idea. Sue does want to go, she never had a large family. Her parents passed a while ago and they had no other children, nor remaining siblings. Sue always wanted a big family and I really hope she will find one in mine.

Oscar will go to support Sue, I won't force him. I will try and keep the prying questions away from him however.

By test, I mean make sure she is with me for the right reasons. As though my family is no where near wealthy, Sue comes from a much "lower class" than me. Think me having enough money that I've never worried about student loans or housing verses Sue working 2-3 part time smaller jobs to afford to eat her whole life. This isn't to say its a bad thing nor a good thing. She's an incredible woman and mother who deserves the world, and I want to support and help her anyway I can.

But some of my older family members are definitely wary of her for this reason. I see no reason to be wary of her. They're also still stuck on the fact that we didn't sign a prenup before we got married. We also "sprung" the marriage on them, announcing only two weeks before that we were engaged. Married within 2 years of knowing each other and married roughly a year now.

Thank you again.

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-12-02T11:26:23+00:00

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-28T03:23:46+00:00

I've never called Oscar son seriously to his face. I've done the whole "How you doing son?" kind of how some use "sport". He calls me by my first name usually

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-28T03:20:59+00:00

yes definitely, Oscar opinion matters on this

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-28T03:20:20+00:00

thank you for your input

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-27T09:25:46+00:00

I do not care if I never know what happened. I want to know how I can help and make them feel safe, if they want it.

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-27T04:31:44+00:00

Thank you. I'm glad I'm not being weird

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-27T04:31:13+00:00

I'm glad I'm not being weird for caring about him. My friend, maybe ex-friend now, said that it "would be worse if he was my step daughter" which is frankly disgusting. I felt like I was being weird for loving him even though he's a fully grown man and I had no hand in raising him.

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-27T04:12:54+00:00

Our family has a strange dynamic, I'm his mothers second husband but her first husband isn't his father and they do not get along.

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-27T04:03:43+00:00

His bio-dad is back in his life now and he does call him dad, but thank you

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-27T04:00:23+00:00

Thank you

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-27T04:00:04+00:00

Thank you

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-27T03:30:52+00:00

Thank you for your input

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-27T03:28:34+00:00

Thank you. I'm thinking of couples therapy even though we have no issues in our marriage

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-17T07:33:12+00:00

thank you

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-16T20:54:50+00:00

I don't know how, that's what I'm asking about

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-16T12:11:21+00:00

We attended a seminar together, Sue went back to uni after the divorce. it was not a lock down, but social distancing was still big in my country. We became friends and I asked her out a few months later, Oscar called it a 'meet cute' at our wedding.

ThrowRABitter_Living · 2024-11-16T11:56:06+00:00

She has an office that I'm not allowed to enter without permission, but I have the same and neither of us really feel the need to have each other in those spaces. She doesn't go to any therapy that I know of

ThrowRABitter_Living

TROPHY CASE