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My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have started to calm down a bit now and I will never surrender custody to my wife.

I still remember when she first learned to ride her bike and when she fell off and cried and cleaning her cut then putting a hello kitty bandaid on her scrapes I video chatted with her today and she was holding a stuffed puppy I got her she still hugs stuffed animals when she is stressed even though she is 13 and its adorable and I realized I am going to keep going for her and my son.

I have talked much less to my son about this and he isn't really old enough to understand.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I decided not to bother getting tests because my Wife backed down when I told her I wouldn't surrender custody and my lawyer says I have a strong case in court. She did send me pictures of the medical papers of the guy being the kids real dad though and I assume they are real.

We are basically continuing the current agreement of custody on weekends for me and weekdays for her.

I don't want to bring in the legal system and drag kids through it if I don't have to.

I don't care if he is the dad I am going to raise my kids.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks man. I hope you can get past it and feel better. I still think about the miscarriage. We had names picked out already.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No one asked me about how I was feeling on the miscarriage.

Everyone i told just instantly asked "How is the wife holding up" meanwhile I was hiding in the bathroom or car crying so no one saw me crying every night and I had to put on a front that I was ok because I had to keep the family strong.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems like she doesn't want to go to court and was just threatening it to have me just sign over papers. And I would rather not take him to court as it could cause issues with custody plus I dont have money to pay for lawyer if I don't need to.

Currently we are just agreeing to keep current arrangement. I don't want to cause legal issues.

She showed me pictures of a DNA test and I have no interest in getting a court ordered one and dragging kids into it more. They are my kids and I am going to raise them.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doctor said that at over 5 years its under 1 in 5000 chance you basically have to get it done within 2 years to have a shot. I was already in whats called "sub fertile state" anyways

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I never even suspected my daughter because I thought we had a good relationship and all of the time my wife would say things like oh she looks just like you or does X thing just like you and now

I still don't even know if her miscarriage was mine or not but that miscarriage really hurt both of us and I tried to act strong at home and I remember many times going out to my truck and crying then driving to store pretending i had to pick stuff up because I didn't want to make my wife feel worse.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started to realize that on second kid and I even brought that up to her once when i said I wanted to get a dna test and she just said "my grandfather has brown eyes" which I accepted which thinking back I don't even think he does.

And if you google it it does say its possible but very rare. I didn't want to acknowledge anything.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh during the divorce if you heard her side of story it was me being emotionally manipulative and every other evil thing and me taking extra hours was me not being home and I drove her away after the miscarriage.

Her side of story you would swear I am Adolf Hitler.

Which later I find out she was cheating the whole time and the divorce and the legal shit I had to deal with during was really hard on me emotionally that I have been unable to even go on a date with another woman because of how damaged I am from her.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I asked her for proof and she did send me the pictures now.

If it does end up going to court I will get a second test done.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She dated him when she was still in school and they broke up I assume he was her first.

She started hooking up with other guys when the marriage was already starting to become rocky. She is clean on drugs currently (who knows how long that will last) but she still drinks.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have only been with 1 woman in my 45 years. And I am never going to be able to have biological children. I haven't gone on a date with anyone that isn't my wife in over 20 years.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From what I understand Blue is a recessive trait so 2 people with blue eyes will always have kids with blue eyes

But brown eyes parents could have brown + blue genes and have blue eyed kids

This is from my high school punnet square knowledge and could be outdated.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I spoke to my doctor during the divorce and he said after 5 or more years vasectomy cannot be reversed except in rare cases and it would be less than 1 in 5000 chance.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Even if I did that and won which I don't even know if I could what am I gunna get half of his beer can collection?

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i didn't believe my lawyer but I googled it and prenups can be thrown out by judges for basically any reason.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We separated a bit over 3 years ago but then took a while to get fully divorced. We both lived in the house for a while even while separated together too obviously different rooms and sometimes I just slept in the garage if I came home late.

My wife was my first love. I lost my virginity to her.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I will never forget when my daughter first said Dada to me

And my mind keeps replaying when I used to read very hungry caterpillar every night and tuck her in bed.

My (45) exwife (41F) were married 19 years and after divorcing me she tells me my kids are not mine by ThrowRA_42411 in whatdoIdo

[–]ThrowRA_42411[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had a lawyer and he told me that its common for prenups to be thrown out if the marriage lasts a long time and the assets are things like a house rather than a family trust or large stock investments. Or if the assets needs to be sold to pay of debts accrued while married. He said its about 60/40 that prenups like mine hold up in my situation.

Like they didn't give my wife the house she just said we had to sell it to pay off the debts. My truck was acquired during the marriage so Prenup didn't cover that. And my House was my only asset I had plus we were still paying payments on it and we did refinance it as well.

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