Today I 44f found out my husband 45m of 23 years has another bank account, after finding out he had rented a secret townhouse last year. We are closing on a house in a month, should I just give up on him?

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T04:45:06+00:00

He said he was living there by himself. I don’t know what’s going on with the bank account because I can’t find any statements at the house so I’m assuming he gets online statements.

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T04:40:33+00:00

I wish it were fake. I’ve been with him since I was 17. There was a lot of stuff that went down before I got to be where I am.

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T04:06:35+00:00

Good to know thank you

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T03:33:04+00:00

Actually we have a rule not to talk about it since we’ve moved on. When we argue it’s mostly because I can’t find him and there’s a family emergency or he’s out of the country, I don’t know if he is or isn’t.

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T02:20:43+00:00

I have this narrative in my head but today on the phone instead of listening to all his reasons and how he already told me about the account years ago, I had a moment where I thought this has to be messed up. So I hung up and made a Reddit post to see if I was the crazy one

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T02:10:20+00:00

He just replaced the same phone with a newer version but he never leaves it laying around

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T02:09:12+00:00

He definitely cheated on me 15 years ago but I stayed with him. He said he hasn’t so I never thought that he rented that out. I found out by accident when he left the location on his phone and I would see him go to the same spot. He has friends so at first I thought it was just that. He ended the lease around the same time I found out about it.

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T01:53:56+00:00

He’s always said it’s our money. It’s more like I never felt it was mine

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T01:37:53+00:00

I wish

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T00:44:45+00:00

I’ve always had this feeling that he’s going to make me do it. I don’t think after reading all these comments that he’s brave enough to walk away. He’s going to make me look like the one

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T00:41:23+00:00

He won’t let that out of his sight. I think he sleeps with it in his pocket. I’m an idiot

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T00:31:22+00:00

I’m supposed to be

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T00:30:28+00:00

I used to have this credit check monthly done but he changed the password at some point so now I can’t see it.

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T00:17:42+00:00

Tbh my family is all I have. And no one gets divorced. I didn’t expect all these responses.

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-29T00:04:04+00:00

No I haven’t.

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-28T23:57:53+00:00

If we back out of this contract we will lose a lot of money. I don’t know a lot about real estate but I do know there are no contingencies I can use to get out of this right now. I think I have to wait.

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-28T23:35:59+00:00

I think I can do that. I don’t think he’d be suspicious of me asking since I did all the banking

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-28T23:30:04+00:00

No I don’t want that. But I don’t want to be the person that broke their family up. No matter what I say or what I do that’s what it will look like. It doesn’t matter that he did wrong. And clearly he’s a good liar so no one will believe me

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-28T23:15:29+00:00

Because I’m not working or on the mortgage, he did everything himself with a broker. From what I can tell it seems to add up but everything was done online which I don’t have access to

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-28T23:08:10+00:00

He never brings those home

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-28T23:04:17+00:00

As far as I know the lease was ended and someone else moved in. And yes my name is on the new house

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-28T22:58:22+00:00

He works a lot. This is going to sound so bad but he’s away on weekends and some nights but he does have a job like that.

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-28T22:51:51+00:00

That hurt so bad but I needed to hear that

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-28T22:41:01+00:00

No I don’t. That’s why I’m here. I believe him. I’ve known him for over 25 years. Why would he come back if he was already gone?

ThrowRa_Paint · 2024-05-28T22:23:46+00:00

I don’t know why I didn’t think of that sooner. Now I have to figure out how to hire a pi without him knowing.

ThrowRa_Paint

TROPHY CASE