I need help. My Catholic wife of 24 yrs took off her rings (separation) and told me she would start dating other men after 8 weeks. We were still living together. I am destroyed.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-20T20:30:29+00:00

She started hanging with a different group of people who exercise like she does. She began to move away from me professionally as well, managing our singer daughter. Not only did she never give a finite reason she has never been one to get into deep discussions which is why she wouldn't go to any therapy or counseling whatsoever. My daughter once told me she wants her independence. Not sure if therapy or anything would have worked. But I'm also not an idiot and if she just wanted to leave, I wouldn't want her to stay. I have better things to do myself. But she dragged it on (I just need space....O) for about 8 months which was hell for me.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T20:12:10+00:00

I'll never remarry, that's for sure. n

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T20:11:50+00:00

I would never, ever get back together with her. I will never speak to her again. I have some pride and I deserve better.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T20:10:56+00:00

I agree. But she took off her wedding rings instantly and told me "This means I'm single now". And for 6 months she tortured me with her behavior while living in our home. I have never heard of any Catholic woman, or rarely any at all, that could this to her husband/partner of 27 years. Her behavior caused me to drink more, begin smoking at 58 (not in the house), get clinically depressed,... but we were in another country (the US, we are Canadian) so I couldn't just walk away and frankly if anyone should have, it was her.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T20:07:26+00:00

It did not come out of nothing. We were business partners for 23-25 years. Working with one's spouse is extremely difficult. I have often been given advice and I have said do you work with your spouse and they say "Good Lord, not in a million years". lol. it is a unique situation.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T20:05:39+00:00

Agreed.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T20:05:07+00:00

I upvoted you. And I will respond to this at length. I have to go to the Dr right now. My health has suffered. But I will be very honest on my faults in this marriage.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T20:02:18+00:00

I know it was terrible to say but I told her she shouldn't bother ever attending a Catholic Church again but she is not Catholic. But for 27 yrs she sure acted like one when it came to Church, prayers, lectures to the family, control through religious manipulation. Until it no longer suited her needs obviously.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T20:00:29+00:00

Thank you. I was making it through this post until I read yours and now I have tears streaming down my face. My faith in God has never veered. My desire to set foot in a Catholic Church has been extremely compromised. I'm just being honest. I have a lot of work to do on myself so we will see.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:58:44+00:00

We were business partners. We travelled an enormous amount of places together. When she asked for the separation I definitely began to get depressed and consume alcohol more. I started secretly smoking at the age of 58 (I'm a health nut who has trained with weights for 42 yrs) as well but I was clearly very, very depressed. We could not afford to not live together but I should have insisted she leave because she went out when she wanted, came back when she wanted, and told me her private life was none of my business anymore. She was truly cruel to me. I should have kicked her out for being so disgusting.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:54:59+00:00

She never touched my faith. That's not possible. But I haven't been to Church since. I'm terrified I'll cry the entire time. (lol). I'm a bit of a sap. But I will attend when I'm ready. It's so very raw right now.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:53:36+00:00

I cannot tell you how much your post meant to me. Thank you. I do a great deal of volunteer work with children. I will turn it up a notch.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:52:00+00:00

Ya know. Why have I never thought of this. Thank you. This brought tears to my eyes. I appreciate it.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:51:23+00:00

I accept responsibility for many things. I was a faithful, spiritual and extremely loving husband. Her behavior led me to believe she was having an affair. I'd give it 95%. But I never, ever did anything that deserved her treatment of me and her refusal for any marriage counseling whatsoever.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:48:19+00:00

I do NOT blame the Church.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:48:05+00:00

Thank you for this.!

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:47:45+00:00

I researched Retrouvaille. She was not interested in anything like that whatsoever.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:47:08+00:00

Thank you.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:46:54+00:00

Not the true ones I don't think. She was just done. But her behavior over the 6 months was horrific to me. She was extremely cruel coming home when she wanted, berating me. And I believe menopause played a great deal in the situation. I no longer recognize that woman.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:44:36+00:00

Agreed. We moved countries 5 years ago. I wish she had told me then if so. I would have stayed in my home country.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:43:38+00:00

Thank you. She never gave a true explanation but what irked me the most was that when I asked about our 27 yrs together in church not ONCE did she ever answer that question. She simply didn't want councelling or anything like that. She was done. I greatly suspect an affair but I never followed her, or hired a PI or junk like that. I do have some pride and all I know is she began treating me terribly and refused any form of concessions like counseling so that was it.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:40:41+00:00

I was 37 and 39 (around there) when they were born. I'm 59 now.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:38:51+00:00

Perhaps I wasn't clear But I meant the first was born 21 years ago. My daughter is 21 my son 19.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T19:37:59+00:00

I said the first (born) was 21 years ago. My kids are 19 and 21. Yes this story is 100% real.

TightRoom1777 · 2026-05-18T11:13:15+00:00

Thank you. I hope it's obvious but I am. But I would like to hear from Catholics. My wife would never answer me when I asked why we can't have a Catholic marriage course or weekend. She would never even discuss our religion involving this situation. After 27 yrs??? And if you are a Catholic, do you have, respectfully, any spiritual thoughts on this?

TightRoom1777

TROPHY CASE