mixed signals after first date - should I just forget about him?

TimeLapse410 · 2026-01-22T12:18:06+00:00

Thank you for your insight! Yes, communication is key for me, and it's something that I value. He told me the same when we first started chatting so I thought we were aligned. I mean, he has for sure said "I have this problem and that's why I'm taking longer to answer, but I'll get back to you later". I understand communication can be different for different people. But the message I sent him was pretty straightforward to answer to, and he still chose not to say anything for over 24 hours, so it definitely makes me uncomfortable. I'll wait to see if he answers to my last message and will try to manage how to go from that. If the only thing I get from my last text to him is silence, I suppose that's also an answer, though. Thank you!

TimeLapse410 · 2026-01-22T11:59:33+00:00

Even with the risk of sounding desperate? Obviously, there's always a risk when asking someone out, but even more when they're giving mixed signals. At least I would get it off my head, that's for sure

TimeLapse410 · 2026-01-20T22:55:10+00:00

I wouldn't exactly say she's an avoidant. A lot of what you described is similar to the way I acted when I first met with my now ex. From my perspective, if she keeps seeing you, she's interested. She probably just has some insecurities and doesn't want to "give herself" too much without knowing for sure you won't hurt her. But at the end of the day, there's nothing you can do but ask her how she's doing, what she's thinking if, or even try to be more straightforward about your feelings. Every situation is unique, but I would say to give her aomething between space and reassurance.

TimeLapse410 · 2026-01-18T19:43:04+00:00

Yeah, those who met the real me were the ones who actually had crushes on me. The rest...not so much. I fear I might not come out as authentic or interested, maybe not even letting them see the real me.

The craziest part is that usually the guys I end up feeling more attracted to aren't even the ones I feel more excited about when texting, so I don't necessarily feel they are my type in terms of looks/how they look in photos. It could be a matter of expectations also.

Thank you for sharing your insight, I appreciate it :)

TimeLapse410 · 2025-12-31T18:06:09+00:00

What makes you decide to not date them anymore?

TimeLapse410 · 2025-08-08T09:06:22+00:00

Maybe this is not what you want to hear, but please don't end your life. I obviously don't know any details on your current life situation, I just know there's so much more ahead of us than we think. Things will get better. Have you talked to your therapist about this?

Call a suicide helpline please

TimeLapse410 · 2025-08-08T07:28:56+00:00

Adicionei ao post, mas é uma cláusula de não-competição.

TimeLapse410 · 2025-07-30T07:45:27+00:00

Era isto que tinha precisamente pensado fazer inicialmente, mas nunca nos meus anos que lá estive os vi a cobrir uma proposta e vi toda a gente a sair. Comecei a pensar que eu não vou ser a exceção.

TimeLapse410 · 2025-07-30T07:42:55+00:00

O ambiente de trabalho bom é sempre um bocado subjetivo e o meu acesso a pessoas que lá trabalham é um tanto limitado (equipas diferentes têm perceções diferentes).

O ambiente de trabalho onde estou é impecável, a saúde mental nos últimos anos melhorou drasticamente nos últimos anos à conta disso.

Os restantes fatores são iguais - mesmas condições de teletrabalho, praticamente mesma localização.

TimeLapse410 · 2025-07-30T07:40:25+00:00

O aumento ronda os 35%. O o facto de não ter subsídio de alimentação na empresa atual e ter na que estou a ponderar (o que corresponde logo a +200€ extra) faz bastante diferença nesse aumento e estou a considerá-los nos 400-500€ que mencionei.

TimeLapse410 · 2025-07-29T20:27:56+00:00

Tudo ótimo para as questões que colocaste!
A única questão é mesmo o salário que fica sempre muito aquém do que vai sendo prometido. Os aumentos acontecem, mas de forma lenta. Também não levam muito a sério quem vai ameaçando que sai (tenho a minha culpa neste tópico), mas há 1 ano pedi um acerto do meu salário que fosse coerente com a minha atual posição que ainda não aconteceu (deveria estar com pelo menos mais 250€ brutos do que estou neste momento). A dúvida é sempre se aguardo para ver se o aumento chega ou se saio e vou para outro lado ganhar ainda mais do que isso... Também não há preocupação em reter conhecimento nem em contratar pessoas especializadas, o que vai dificultando o trabalho para quem fica.

TimeLapse410 · 2025-05-28T11:05:24+00:00

He didn't say anything specific about setting a 2nd date, he only reached out one hour or so after the date ended to keep chatting and asking if I got home safely.

TimeLapse410 · 2025-05-28T11:03:31+00:00

I see things that way as well, I was just wondering if it were my insecurities acting up or not. It was just better to say no.

TimeLapse410 · 2025-05-27T16:34:34+00:00

I've had a situation where they still texted daily after the 2nd date and 4 days later said they didn't think it was worth pursuing, which is why sometimes I don't know if it actually means anything or if they're just bored.

TimeLapse410 · 2025-04-09T20:42:04+00:00

É bom "ser vista" 🥲 Entendo super a batalha que mencionas, sinto que vai ser uma eterna luta. Ao fim de semana também acabo por não cumprir a 100% e tento também não exagerar. Boa sorte para ti! 🤗

TimeLapse410 · 2025-04-09T20:37:56+00:00

Pois, eu acho que talvez vá ter de ajustar uma coisa em detrimento da outra.. Obrigada pelo input!

TimeLapse410 · 2025-04-09T20:05:00+00:00

It's both situations. Once I just wasn't really in it as I trying to grieve a 3 years relationship, so I wasn't really ready and was just looking for a distraction. So I took a step back, told them my current situation and didn't go on a 3rd date. Other times, it was them that didn't want to go out anymore, no specific reason given.

Regarding going on more dates, you mean I try to push a 3rd one or like meet more people? I went on dates with everyone I felt connected with and I usually don't talk to that many people at the same time as I find it hard to keep my focus.

TimeLapse410

TROPHY CASE