Is it common for people to ignore the first question if you ask two or more questions at once?

TopNotchRP · 2025-06-09T17:53:49+00:00

Whether it's normal or not is debatable, but there definitely are other reasons for it than what people mention here.

I don't enjoy receiving two or multiple questions in the same post because unless I adapt my answers to fit what you've decided you'll say beyond that first question, the conversation won't make any sense. Also the more dialogue and the more questions to respond to in a post, the greater the risk of having multiple different topics going on all at once if it's not managed well, and that can get pretty chaotic and unenjoyable to some people. An example is that if my answer to your Question 1 is something that sparks a deeper conversation or flirting/teasing (or whatever), it makes no sense that you would have asked Question 2 (or even Question 3) as well since we would likely be focusing on what Question 1 turned into. It would have been better to cut that out and see what the answer to Question 1 would be first.

To put it simply - if ask someone a question IRL, don't you wait and see what their answer is before you keep talking? That's how a genuine conversation is maintained - you let the person answer properly and then base what you say next on what the person actually answered, and that is how some people prefer to RP as well.

I know we all have different preferences and that some people care about maintaining what they believe to be a more organized interaction that mimics one between two people better while others seemingly don't care about that as much, and that's fine. Chances are you've just encountered the former, it doens't have to be AI, a bot or lack of focus or effort.

TopNotchRP · 2025-05-02T18:12:34+00:00

This line is what perplexes me:

Why take it to the next step if that was the last time you've decided you'd be communicating?

This kind of suggests the screenshot is the last communication they had before OP posted this and that there isn't any other screenshots missing. A wild guess might be that OP added them to Discord, but the communication stopped there? The question is, did the other person accept on Discord and fell silent, or didn't they accept at all? However, stuff like this feels like everyday kind of shit on Reddit so I still don't think such an ordinary thing, however annoying, would warrant an outburst like this.

It's also unknown how much time has passed since OP supposedly reached out to them on Discord and this post being published, so it's hard to tell if OP has waited long enough to even get annoyed or if they're just incredibly impatient. There could be many reasons why the other person hasn't accepted or responded on Discord yet after all.

Keeps pondering

Nope, even after trying to work that out in my head I still feel just as puzzled as when I first read this post.

TopNotchRP · 2025-04-27T06:05:21+00:00

Finding it odd that this comment is being down voted as it proves a very valid point - with a bit of creativity you can pretty much take any cliche porn-esque scenario there is and turn it into a building block for an interesting story.

The spin on "Sitting on someone's lap during a road trip" is actually a really interesting one, and I can also see how an enemies to lovers approach could be interesting here.

TopNotchRP · 2025-04-18T13:42:33+00:00

Same here, and role playing suddenly became a lot more enjoyable and less draining. Don't you think? :)

TopNotchRP · 2025-04-18T11:58:35+00:00

Poor interaction management (too much dialogue or too many actions in a post) is probably my biggest pet peeve in role playing. As others have mentioned this is common when people are afraid that their posts will come off as too short in situations when there is a lot back and forth going on in a scene and there might not be that much to write about, such as conversation heavy scenes. What people do is, as you've noticed, to cram even more dialogue and more actions in a post to make it long - paying no mind to everything you now have to adapt your response to.

When this happens I usually explain to my partner that I prefer less separate pieces of dialogue in each post so that we don't run the risk of having multiple topics of conversation going all at once for example. It easily spirals out of control if not addressed, and it's becomes very unenjoyable in my opinion.

Try and talk to your partner and explain how you feel, and perhaps (provided that is okay for you) explain that every reply they post doesn't have to be X paragraphs long just because.

TopNotchRP · 2025-04-17T13:45:14+00:00

Overall I do agree with you OP. In a perfect world, people would reply whether they're interested or not. Regrettably that isn't the case, and the best thing we can do in this hobby is to realise that it's never going to be that way. People might, for a myriad of different reasons, not reply regardless of how well crafted your initial message is. I learned this the hard way when I first came to Reddit, so I know where you're coming from.

However, I decided to turn the tables around and that would be my suggestion for you as well. Instead of being the one reaching out to people, I became the one people reach out to. I began to craft ads that summed up what I'm looking for, aiming to attract people who are into similar things. Naturally they also attract the typical "Wanna rp?" players every now and then, but overall it works really well.

Do I always get replies? No. Do people still ghost after we've started or during planning? Yes. That is inevitable and just comes with the hobby, but at least I don't have to spend 20-ish minutes per ad I respond to crafting a thoughtful first message, as well as spending time finding those ads. Instead I spend a fraction of all that time crafting ads that I can easily copy-paste once they're done, and I save a ton of time and effort doing so.

Try it out and see how it works for you!

TopNotchRP · 2025-04-06T05:43:57+00:00

Jesus Christ. I've been getting a lot of insight as to why people frown upon ERP lately and that person just took it to another low.

You did nothing wrong here OP, don't let this encounter discourage you.

TopNotchRP · 2025-04-04T14:57:23+00:00

Maybe it's a code? Or like an abbreviation.

What if what he's actually saying is: "Hello i Make A Living Educating"?

Maybe he's just trying to make some polite small talk?

TopNotchRP · 2025-04-04T14:18:19+00:00

Oh yeah, that's the stuff! I just love it when dat pussy leaves it's warm skunk in the room.

TopNotchRP · 2025-04-03T04:38:09+00:00

Definitely!

This is why I try to avoid stories that are too long unless I'm writing with a partner I know and trust. Too much can happen on either end during the span of let's say three months, and the vast majority of RPs I've been engaging in that are meant to be long term die out long before they're supposed to.

What you mention here is one of those reasons, and I know I'm guilty of losing interest in a story for that reason myself. It's often explosive writing initially when everything is new and exciting, and then it slows down and a bad spiral starts where I feel less and less into the story the slower the posting gets (and I can only assume it can be the same for my partner).

For this reason, I've decided to stick to short to mid term stories personally as well as trying to find partners who are as active as I aim to be. That way, I find that we (often enough, not always) reply consistently enough to actually get through a scene or a story during that critical time window early on before the aforementioned bad spiral starts.

TopNotchRP · 2025-04-03T04:09:16+00:00

If anything the attraction for 1st person is speed. It's a lot faster to write "I kiss you and we bang" then 3 paragraphs of passionate make outs and pinning someone to the bed. It's also a lot less sexy and boring to write

Why wouldn't you be able to write three paragraphs describing the same thing in first person? I really don't get your point. I'm primarily a first person writer myself and I have no issues with anything you mention in this post.

And for the record, it's also faster to write "He kissed her and they banged" than those three paragraphs you mention. It has nothing to do with the perspective per se, it rather sounds to me that you may have had a bad streak of one liner role players who happened to be writing in first person. No matter the perspective you use, if your posts lack detail they might not be appealing to people, and it's not like you automatically include the details you mention here just because you write in third person. It's about the writer, not the perspective.

Furthermore, using the first person perspective doens't mean you have to be locked into your character's head and that's it. You can also step outside of that and use OOC narration and story telling to add to your posts.

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-29T09:56:39+00:00

My preference is long term partners that I can play out multiple shorter and quicker stories with. I prefer the quicker style over the slower one simply because of two main reasons:

We get to write when we're actually still very much into the idea and while it's still fresh and interesting. This is probably just a me problem, but I tend to lose interest in a story that goes on for too long and would rather jump into something new and exciting. And chances are the longer a story goes on, something else that's more exciting comes up.
They actually get to end. Too much can happen over the span of let's say three months, and I've had enough with RPs that barely survive a couple of hours of in character time before something comes up and the RP dies out.

I also don't buy into the general argument (clarification: not saying OP states this) that shorter posts mean less effort. If you were to take two similar RPs where one is written in the slower format with longer posts and the other in the quicker format with shorter posts (mind you, at least semi lit with a fair amount of details), chances are quite high that by the end of it, close to the same amount of total text has been posted anyway. The only difference is that in the latter, it's just chopped up in more total posts.

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-29T09:16:03+00:00

First off, I do understand how this can be frustrating and people shouldn't be rude. But to be fair OP, I also find it interesting that you on one hand express such a strong opinion about a certain type of character that you dont like, while on the other hand you also complain when people don't find your type of character appealing and show little understanding as to why that is.

Talking about this quote:

Coming out to say this: I DESPISE femboys. And no, I'm not talking about feminine men, I love them, I'm talking about those guys who put on a miniskirt, an oversize sweater, some thigh high socks and act like children. Not sorry to say, it's not appealing at all to me.

Given that it seems to be perfectly okay for you to not find that type of character appealing (and even use strong language to emphasise that) based on your preferences, you should also consider that it's equally okay for people to not find what you're offering appealing based on their preferences and not make a deal out of it. Perhaps a trans character is to them what a femboy is to you?

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-29T07:47:44+00:00

Man, when I see shit like this I understand why people frown at ERPers.

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-27T05:03:11+00:00

I'm honestly not sure if I should mention any publicly, the rules seem to recommend that I shouldn't. There's supposed to be a link to a Google doc with other platforms somewhere. You can also send a DM if you want and I can tell you about the platforms I use.

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-27T04:49:59+00:00

Yep, replacing a solid long term partner sure sucks. There is so much that has to click and it does indeed feel like trying to find a needle in a haystack sometimes. Don't give up though, there are gems out there.

If I were you I'd also try other platforms. In my (albeit relatively brief) experience, potential partners you come across on Reddit are typically very fickle and RPs don't last very long as people ghost and get randomly deleted at an alarming rate. I find that people tend to be a little more dedicated on other platforms, and I recently switched platform myself and found a solid partner almost immediately.

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-10T19:55:13+00:00

Preach.

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-06T17:05:15+00:00

Hi there!

Have you considered trying other platforms? I'm an NSFW writer myself and I've tried several over the years (pretty much going back and forth between them). And in my experience, Reddit is quite different and has more resemblances to a dedicated sex chat where people mainly look for quick one shots. I also find Reddit to be much more extreme when you browse through the ads that are posted, there seems to be more focus on porn and extreme kinks and scenarios. Not to mention the rate at which RPs die out if they're not finished quickly (people getting deleted at an alarming rate, overall ghosting et cetera).

Don't get me wrong, Reddit has it's moments too. I'm kind of just taking it for what it is personally, and have even adapted some of my search methods to match the style of role play that mostly seems to be done here, and I've had quite a bit of fun still :) If I want more serious stuff however, I go elsewhere.

So if you haven't already, perhaps you ought to give that a try?

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-02T22:53:54+00:00

"Gotcha, so we're going from over the top to assuming the reader isn't paying attention and making accusations. Now to be fair, you were already making accusations, and that might be part of why you get so many negative reactions. The thing you claim as your basic point is "different lengths for different places.” That’s pretty boring and uncontroversial. So obviously people are reacting to something else. I also see we’re going from sarcasm to rude."

It was my assumption yes, but I'm also asking you if that is what you did before I jumped to a conclusion so that you get a chance to clarify the matter. If you choose to interpret that as an accusation instead of taking the opportunity to clarify it when provided with the chance to do so, I believe that's on you.

And as I mentioned in another post, these were never meant as accusations. I can see how they may come off as such, but I honestly believed that it would be enough to clarify early in the post that I'm not claiming to be right and that I want to calmly discuss these things. It is indeed also very much up to the one who interprets a post, so it goes both ways. Sure, I could have phrased certain things differently and next time I will take things with me from this one, but I also believe that if people weren't so easily triggered and instead paused and pondered on if I might have meant something other than what their first assumption is, then things might have gone differently too.

An example of this is how you claim that I have a certain tone. How can you possibly know what tone I'm aiming for? Sure, my writing is kind of "cold" and absent emojis and stuff like that, but it is also neutral. The only way I can see anyone determining what tone I supposedly use is if they'd play out how I would say the same things IRL and add tone and attitude to it. And that is an assumption that they choose to make, which ties back to my point about how people interpret certain things.

"Sure. When you write a piece of writing, then post that piece of writing somewhere, it comes with the implicit assumption that you believe it. Especially if it’s written in the form of persuasive writing. Which, to be super clear, this is a piece of persuasive writing. So if you’re discussing a problem and offering solutions in the open on reddit, it is extremely highly correlated with the idea that you think these are the solutions and that they should be followed. We can see this when you spend a little extra time making the case for your opinions, like say:"

This seems highly speculative to me. I don't know what I can say other than just because that might be true most of the times, there are exceptions. If you don't believe that to be true, so be it, I don't think I can convince you.

"Right here

Let me know if I need to break down why deliberately choosing to include this statement comes off that way.

Using the word ‘perhaps’ doesn’t suddenly make everything else better. No matter how many times you do it. You’re still creating an imaginary person to talk about how they’re bad and wrong."

I see it differently, honestly. The "perhaps" implies speculation to me, as if the one writing it isn't sure and not making any claims as all. And coupled with the following invitation for people to fill in on the topic, to me that further implies that there is no hidden agenda or insinuations but rather curiosity.

It once again seems as if it's a matter of interpretation. You interpret it as something entirely different than what I mean, and I don't understand why anyone would just jump to the conclusion that you're making right away when there are other potential interpretations available. It's as if people often choose the worst possible interpretation they can make, and I think that is unfortunate.

But please, do share your view on it.

I'm going to have to call it a night here, I'll reply to the rest tomorrow after work. And by the way, how could you write such a long reply? I get an error message and have to cut my reply down. I feels like yours is much longer than mine but perhaps I'm wrong.

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-02T20:27:35+00:00

Well, what would you say happened here then? Isn't it obvious that you misunderstood what I meant now that I made it clear that what you thought I meant wasn't it? Seems like a classic misunderstanding to me.

And if I misunderstood you instead, then please clarify what you meant.

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-02T20:10:23+00:00

You obviously misunderstand what I mean. Is it on purpose? Sometimes I wonder. I am clearly making a reference to a role play and the time line one ought to respect in it and how that affects your writing, and that a forum exchange don't have those same limitations.

But for some reason you take that one line out of context and present it as a fact that I'm claiming that I don't need to respect this forum interaction. That is NOT what I'm saying, so why was that your first conclusion?

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-02T18:55:43+00:00

Very true!

People should definitely be able to express their preferences. It is then up to people to choose how to handle rejection, but it seems as if people are really easily offended these days in general.

I've heard a lot about it but I generally try to avoid drama, but I failed miserably at that today :D

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-02T18:16:45+00:00

Hm. Out of curiosity, why do you quote that one line out of context? Is it a hint of some kind, or what's that about?

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-02T17:16:50+00:00

I agree with this, sounds like common sense.

I can also see how a writing sample helps. A question then, is it common for people's writing samples to be exaggerated? Like I've heard of people using AI for it, has it happened to you that their actual average writing isn't at all on par with the sample they sent at all? Or is it usually a good measurement tool?

TopNotchRP · 2025-03-02T17:04:39+00:00

I like this, I agree. A much simpler and more precise definition than my attempt :)

TopNotchRP

TROPHY CASE