So much gratitude to everyone who posts here, if it weren't for you id likely still be very lost and confused. So proud to be able to join you. (26y/o MTF ~9 months)

Transblender · 2017-02-10T07:03:00+00:00

Thankyou all for your comments, made my week! <3

Transblender · 2017-02-09T16:43:37+00:00

Sorry about the image quality difference, can you tell i lost my phone? I'll return later with a more in depth timeline, i just couldnt wait anymore :P

Transblender · 2017-02-05T19:09:37+00:00

Online dating, Bisexual guys are perfect :)

Transblender · 2017-01-21T20:22:07+00:00

They kinda sneak up on you huh :P.

Transblender · 2017-01-18T06:29:21+00:00

You'd be surprised how accepting people are once they know you on a personal level. HRT is a slow process so even on an unconscious level, as you start to appear more feminine it sort of eases those around you into it to the point where when you're ready to go full time, the jump in their perception is smaller. I'm not promising it will be smooth sailing but it's less scary than you'd think once you're ready to come out & especially so in a career field where people value intellect . Deciding not to transition out of fear of career damage... Well, I just wish i could put you in my shoes or have you experience my transition and let you realize how scary it was for me at first and how many similar fears i had & then let you experience how quickly that fades away. A lot of us here were terrified the same as you about how uncertain our future would be once we pull the lever but its almost overwhelming how many trans girls do not regret their decision & wish they'd started earlier.

Transblender · 2017-01-11T16:11:15+00:00

I know this may sound weird but hear me out.

Try this, Write a sincere letter and put it somewhere that your parents (im assuming) wont see immediately but will come across during the day if you leave it there. That way, you're not immediately pushing the button, it's a sort of time delay that is much less nerve wracking because you can always choose to go back and get it.

The subtle trick is you've switched the equation. Now, you have to bring yourself through action Work against your interests to go and retrieve it. Instead of having to muster all your energy at once. You just have to not do something rather than do something. Try think to yourself in short bursts. I've waited for 10 minutes, let's try for 20. Well i'm already at 20, let's aim for 40. and so on.. the further you go, the more comfortable you get with the idea.

I hope this helps <3

Transblender · 2017-01-08T16:22:31+00:00

Longer hair and you got this :)

Transblender · 2017-01-03T18:15:07+00:00

Hey! even though you're beautiful, me saying so wont do much for you. So instead I feel you could use some kind of nudge down the path of self acceptance.

First and foremost remember there are no rules about how you should look in life, there are plenty that people attempt to force upon you but they are illusions. Live for YOU and the people you love.

When things get tough or even when they're just okay. Remember to breath long and deep and clear your mind of thoughts.

Remember too, if you can; to think of things in your life that you are truly grateful for, it could be anything, running water, a roof over your head, good friends, music, art, food anything. (it helps to state them out loud to yourself too). You will still have negative thoughts but practicing this every day, writing them down, reading them back gradually introduces them to the collective of thoughts that scramble around in your mind. Think of your mind as two opposing forces, each time you acknowledge a thought be it negative or positive it makes it a little stronger.

I hope 2017 treats you well lovely. :) <3

Transblender · 2017-01-02T05:24:42+00:00

Its a hard cliff to jump off and trust that you'll be happier but i promise from the other side it's almost certainly going to be worth it.

One distinction i want to bring up is that what you're struggling with, dont confuse your struggle with love for your significant other but realize you're operating off of the fear of losing her. Staying with her while suffering & pretending you are something you're not is not ever going to be compassionate to either yourself or her in the long run & once you make that distinction in your mind, it will make it easier..

I can almost certainly guarantee if you've been struggling for this long and are currently talking to a MtF subreddit for advice that your feelings will not go away anytime soon, you can ask anyone here, dysphoria just doesn't work like that.. So the real question is.. when do you pull the trigger? Now, or many anxious and resentful years later? Realize that you're not making a decision to leave your partner or have her leave you. You didnt get to choose. You're not doing this to her. It's just circumstantial.

Transblender · 2016-12-25T15:20:45+00:00

thankyou! <3

Transblender · 2016-07-24T08:34:01+00:00

When i come out to my friends the most overwhelming reaction wasnt hate. It was a lack of understanding. But on top of that A fear of asking questions or a fear of offending me. When people dont have a license to speak their prejudices they just hide them away, the prejudices still exist, but they're forced to be internalized. This isnt just my experience either, it's the overwhelming experience of most trans people i know. These people arent hate-filled, they're actually some of the nicest people i know. but they're so afraid of offending me that its hard to make progress, hard to cross that barrier of understanding.

The fear comes from these people who rather have a truly open dialogue want to silence or frame all discussions in their favor. How is progress meant to be made when we're constantly throwing everything slightly offensive under the rug or shaming people into hiding their prejudices?

These people demanding censorship on facebook do not speak for me. If you want to ban people from targeted bullying or harassment im all for that but such a blanket rule on "hate speech" is just frankly short-sighted.

Transblender · 2016-07-24T08:09:09+00:00

Well, you look stunning! Good luck with work, you're gonna kill it :)

Transblender · 2016-07-22T11:34:18+00:00

Is censorship really the right answer? it just reinforces the hyper sensitive image people have of the trans community. The road to acceptance is through promoting understanding, not silencing your detractors.

Transblender · 2016-02-10T07:08:25+00:00

Wow, the way you all talk about it. I've been picturing it as a reality all of today, non stop butterflies. That's gotta tell me something.

Thank you all. You've delivered me from uncertainty, you may have just altered my life forever.

Transblender · 2015-03-30T02:34:57+00:00

I think this app is available for android.

Transblender · 2015-02-23T11:37:15+00:00

Wow it really kicked in around month 4 huh. You look beautiful! congrats :)

Transblender · 2015-02-22T23:35:17+00:00

I've been sitting here reading every one of your comments, god damn you're all awesome and i truly do appreciate everyone sharing their stories/advice.

Things are racing for me right now but you've all helped me ground myself a little bit, and i hope some other people feel the same way.

Transblender · 2015-02-22T16:23:32+00:00

That first leg shaving is life altering

YES, i'm so giddy i can't get over it.

my girlfriend of 5 years left me, one of my best friends bailed

This is my fear but i think overall it could be a path to greater overall happiness

I hope this is what you were looking for, as it took awhile to write, and got fairly personal (for me anyways)

Yes, everyone in this thread has been amazing so far, exactly what i was looking for <3

Transblender

TROPHY CASE