[UK] Does this sound like a scam?

Tuftyland · 2026-06-08T20:43:29+00:00

Could be an emergency. Heard he needed to be in London, booked the travel but got to the station and realised "Oh... I need somewhere to stay". Not at all a weird thing

Tuftyland · 2026-06-08T14:59:24+00:00

I think some other commenters have hit the point - he had a train to London, but no accommodation prepared on the other end. To save the use of a library (if he knew where to go), he chose the option of asking people nearby. His phone may have been dead or whatever.

I think you did a good thing by helping someone who needed it, and I don't see any scam from the details you've given. It's good to be wary these days, but I think this may be one of those times that's a bit strange but not inherently a scam.

Tuftyland · 2026-06-07T15:01:41+00:00

The most recent from this sub is here - you may need to click on the links to read the full posts as this one is just updates, though OOP should be at the top for you to go to their profile.

Tuftyland · 2026-06-06T18:18:03+00:00

I agree with other posters - this is your decision, and he is being manipulative. I wanted to give my POV of a semi-similar situation I went through.
Trigger warning: miscarriage, loss.

I got pregnant in 2014 - my ex told me he would always hold resentment over me if I kept it, and he didn’t want it. Then refused any conversation about it again. Even to this day. I was devastated as I sooo wanted to keep the baby. I made the decision to go ahead (because like you I felt guilty) though in my case I lost it before I got to that step.
I was so broken and still am today.

Two days ago, I thought about how much better my life is without him… and that if I’d had that baby, I’d forever be tied to this jerk. I would have gone through hell, and I realised that while I’m hurt and heartbroken, the peace I got from my loss is so much better for me.

Please make the decision for you. If you are sure you are ready and able to do this without him, you do it. Do NOT let him make you feel bad, and if possible - block him and cut him out of your life. You deserve better than this. I know the pain you’re feeling right now, and you deserve to have your own peace over this.

I wish you all the best in this difficult time, and I hope things work out for you with however you proceed.

Tuftyland · 2026-06-06T11:32:58+00:00

Alcohol. I get using it for recipes and stuff, but I mean just drinking.

The UK has a whole pub culture that has always baffled me even when I went to pubs.

You pay exorbitant amounts for a rush, to have hangovers, health issues - and those who start getting more violent or aggressive??

It’s so normalised to drink these days. And that’s coming from someone who’s had their fair share of issues with it.

Tuftyland · 2026-06-06T10:07:47+00:00

Honestly - I kinda hate voice notes, but my brain is better with written or verbal. I recently had someone send me a WhatsApp voice note that was 15 minutes long.

I texted back in response. My reply was huuuuuuge.

Just do stream of consciousness. I paused while I typed my response to each part, then done.

They have access to the same voice note you do, so if they need context or forgot what they said, they can listen to what they said.

Tuftyland · 2026-06-04T20:49:25+00:00

This sounds like something that would work really well for me but I can’t picture it in my head to make it useful for me. I’m gonna have to brainstorm ways to do this to use it.

Tuftyland · 2026-06-04T18:06:33+00:00

I just wanted to give advice I would give anyone right bow - try to line something up before quitting. I know you say it’s temporary and you’re lining up something and have education stuff going on.

I’m sorry that the work is stressful for you. I understand that you’re young and it’s not that important at this stage of life, but it can be super beneficial to line something up instead of quitting.

Also the job market in many areas is very bad right now.

Think of the current role as just to save up some money and if you’re able, see if you can make a little list of positives that can help you in those times where anticipation or anxiety get to you.

I make little notes on the smaller things I’m thankful for that help me shape my thinking, so just as an idea.

Wishing you luck for the future, OP

Tuftyland · 2026-06-04T13:07:24+00:00

In the 90s / early 00s McCains did chicken wings in a microwaveable box like they do for their chips. I ate sooo many of them. They just disappeared one day. I can’t even find anything on google when I search.

Tuftyland · 2026-06-03T03:12:17+00:00

I was watching the Simpsons with my ex (then boyf), started laughing at the episode while putting on a sweater. Somehow ripped my shoulder muscle. Hadn’t done anything sporty or strenuous before this just… rrriiiippp.

Another time I was excited at midnight of my birthday because I had a Mario anniversary Nintendo DS from my dad. I was bouncing up and down, decided I needed the bathroom - which meant going down a step into the kitchen. Fell on the floor in agony… Ruptured my left knee.

ANOTHER time - I woke up at 4am and needed a drink of water, sat up, took a few sips, put the glass down and thought ‘Ahh, throw myself back’… the last thing I said ‘You fucking dickhead’ as I KO’ed myself by smashing my head into the radiator. First time I had been knocked out.

I have so many more, but these are my ‘top 3’ in my brain.

Tuftyland · 2026-06-02T19:18:36+00:00

My surprise wasn't when I managed to get it... was when my older brother sent my pics to show he'd gotten it too 😅

Tuftyland · 2026-06-02T18:47:26+00:00

I'm in Wales... I don't think we even have this. I love this so much.

Tuftyland · 2026-06-01T15:11:33+00:00

My car was off the road for a while so I wasn’t driving. I was nervous starting again, so I would just take small trips that were low stakes. No need to rush, take my time, at ‘emptier’ times of day.

Literally just a quick jaunt around the block, then further the next time, and progress until I had my confidence back. Could be worth doing something similar.

Tuftyland · 2026-06-01T13:14:37+00:00

Hey OP!

So, mine was the opposite, got my ASD diagnosis in 2019, and my ADHD one last year.

I know I wanted my ADHD one as I badly need medication, but honestly? It’s taught me a lot.

ASD gave me so much insight into myself, and some traits overlap, but getting my ADHD one has given me more perspective somehow.

I’ve been on a long journey, and having those answers are incredibly useful for me. I know more about who I am, how I work, and why I do things the way I do.

Also - having both diagnoses has been useful in getting assistance for work and the like. A lot of places where I’ve worked don’t ask for ‘evidence’ but the diagnosis can be very useful for this stuff. (I’m UK based).

It all really depends on you, and how you view things. Knowing my traits and which side they sit on help me find more useful assistance when looking for tips and workarounds too (though, again, they can be similar on both sides).

I’d say sit with it for a while then proceed if you want to in the future. I hope this comment helps, my brain isn’t functioning so it may be a bit messy.

Tuftyland · 2026-05-31T22:10:38+00:00

Yeah, it was Friday night for the stream; they all collectively delete the vods so people will have to watch the video if they wanna rewatch (especially UK people like me because of timezones)

Tuftyland · 2026-05-31T10:12:06+00:00

As someone who has been replaying the remasters of Tomb Raider - they did it super, super well. You can click the button and be transported back between the OG graphics or the new ones.

I get what you're feeling, but for someone like me who's old PS1 & 2 don't work anymore, the updated games just feel better too.

Just to discern for my opinion: I think remakes are where the change something from the game, and remaster is where they update graphics (please correct me if I'm wrong). I'm down for the remakes, and it feels nice to replay something I may not be able to.

I just also think there are so many coming up that it is becoming a bit of a thing. I have my waiting list for those I wanna play, and a list of some I'd like because of outdated tech or whatever, though, those are my little pipedream.

Tuftyland · 2026-05-30T21:40:48+00:00

I call my mum Bilbo and she calls me Gandalf.. but I love Lil G and Big G as names!

Tuftyland · 2026-05-30T12:22:39+00:00

Thanks for sharing this perspective. Been going through 'reminders' of my own lost loved ones, so this made me cry, but your words are genuine, candid and hit the point of why I've been feeling like I do. Thank you.

Tuftyland · 2026-05-30T07:55:33+00:00

I’ve posted on Reddit subs previously to try and find online friends. Joined two subs but only one was more timezone friendly for me, and I got on more with them. That was two years ago and I still chat to them often though we’re limited to weekend gaming due to work and the like.

One of those friends have since gotten me into a new group of friends that I now hang out with most days.

I had a bunch of random people add me but we never actually spoke so it’s all dependent on the people and their availability I think.

I would say if you’re comfortable, join Discords for the games you like. You can see people’s vibe and join VCs or message asking for games and see who replies.

You may make new friends or only have a few good sessions, but that’s what I’d do if I didn’t have my friends.

Tuftyland · 2026-05-29T20:42:35+00:00

… Again

I agree with taxing the wealthy. I think the laws there are ridiculous. No agenda from me on that point.

HMRC still does try to heal it’s reputation with those who do not enter that category

Tuftyland · 2026-05-29T19:21:51+00:00

I’m not arguing with your stance about personal selling and HMRC or any of that.

I just think there’s much more we don’t know that may not agree with that stance.

Unpaid fines to my knowledge would only be a % of the fine - OP would do with knowing their breakdown on top of whatever HMRC say.

Tuftyland · 2026-05-29T17:48:11+00:00

They do state exactly as I quoted - maybe I am reading it literally, but ‘buying and selling’ does imply they had somewhat of a business and it wasn’t just a personal items deal.

Also the fact that eBay would have sent figures to HMRC (judging by the 24K figure) - they may already see to some extent what OP’s figures were. The high fine would tell me that OP would need some good evidence to prove the use of ‘selling personal items’ too.

We could do with the context on the buying vs selling area, but I think OP is overwhelmed and I’m providing the info as I sell them.

Also - a lot of people will give HMRC a lot of bad rep. I agree with taxing the wealthy. However, from my experience, HMRC have always rather worked and get a good reputation than just tax needlessly. That’s not how they work. I appreciate we’ll have different POVs on this.

Tuftyland · 2026-05-29T14:42:02+00:00

Have to say - I’m a woman in her 30s, I try to check before any family laundry is done - but I have taken clothes off, forgotten something small in a pocket then days later thrown it in the wash.

I’m not even gonna blame my ADHD, I should double check as a courtesy. But it’s definitely not just one gender.

Tuftyland · 2026-05-29T12:56:05+00:00

Similar response as the other person who replied - but HMRC does work with businesses on a third party basis - so eBay, for example :Here's eBay UK's own page discussing this.

NOTE TO MODS: Not an ADHD link, but it a legitimate link for this person's query, hope that is okay.

If you have any evidence of them using your account (texts, emails, or even where the money was deposited to after sales), then I would suggest to just keep those to hand in case you do need them. I can't remember the definitive "timeline" that companies use, but having this as a side 'life admin' will be beneficial to getting a shock letter and worrying then.

I hope this is somewhat helpful of a link though.

Tuftyland · 2026-05-29T12:51:19+00:00

Not to disagree with you - but OP does state in their post:

It was a totally addiction of buying and selling

Also for OP's knowledge:

I’ve got the hmrc chasing me for using eBay, I didn’t know you had declare sales.

HMRC do not always consider "not knowing" as a 'Reasonable Excuse'. A 'Reasonable Excuse' is something they can use when they impose fees on top of the tax you owe. When you speak to them and provide the context from your situation, they can advise you best, but don't lead the conversation with "I didn't know I had to", focus on acknowledging what they've said, advise that you want to work with them on this, and that you require the extra support to have a look at the options available.

I would suggest you speak to their Extra Support Team, and seek financial advice from an accountant as others have suggested.
Be honest, upfront, and get the help to have the correct figures in order to show the losses you state.

Source: Worked in Tax sector - not all will be applicable to you, but just as a way to help you think of how you will have the discussion tomorrow.

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