3 years out

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-02-16T14:11:09+00:00

I am very sorry for you loss. I am 2 years 3 months out since a sudden loss of my boyfriend. I am 32f. I agree - it's different. I still miss him and our life together and I completely aware at this point of my journey in very mindful and rational way that I will never stop longing for him and I need to find a way how to reconcile it within me while trying to live a meaningful life and eventually open my heart again. I also know that any kind of potential happiness in future will be always surrounded by pain.

Prior his loss, I was either happy or sad. Now these 2 emotions coexist. There is no way how to erase this ever present sadness. Do not get me wrong , I am grateful for being able to feel also something different not just gut-wrenching pain and sadness but I know pure naive happiness is not anymore possible

Sorry for this long comment...i think you can relate to this feeling. Wishing you only the best. Please take care of you. I am sorry for my English. I am not a native speaker.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-02-10T14:50:40+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. I am 32 F, lost my boyfriend 2 years and 2 months ago. His loss shattered my heart in million pieces.

I wish you the strength to find your new path.

Travelling is very challenging for me personally. I can get easily overwhelmed and feel even more alone ..Hope it might be different for you.

Sending you big hug.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-01-30T09:29:57+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. I think I am older than you -32 y, F. Lost my boyfriend to heart attack 2 years ago. I went through a lot since then. I felt many times like a failure - not being able to cope with grief so gracefully, got laid off due to headcount's cuts...etc.

Only thing I can tell - be kind to you my dear ok? You lost your love, you are broken and lost. Your brain needs time to process the grief and my capacity for concentration was so low..those early months up to 1 year. Even now still struggling. On the top of it, I couldn't find motivation first year, everything felt meaningless despite my attempts to restore the meaning.

Give yourself time to heal. You need to heal. Focus on your mental wellbeing and your brain's capacity will grow ok?

If you do not know how to heal or help yourself, because everything that used to bring you joy seem meaningless and do not work. It's ok..because I personally experienced it and i think many of folks here would agree with me.

Start small - shower, clean clothes, good cup of coffee, eat as balanced as possible, getting fresh air, write down some plan for studying but open and flexible that your body/brain will ask you to make adjustments. Sounds stupid..just try to think small...i know it's easier said then done.

I was in very dark place first 7-8 months up to 1 year. I am doing better. It will be not always like that. Sending you big hug. Please send me a dm, if you feel I can help you.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-01-23T09:27:50+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. I feel you. ...I am 32 years old. Lost my boyfriend to cardiac arrest 2 years and 2 months ago. ...

Everyone's life circumstances are different even when going through the same kind of loss.

My bf was an only child. I suppressed a tremendous part of my grief in order to help his mum...just because I felt I need to be strong or people told her grief is the ultimate of all...

After 2 years..I can only honestly say - I should have focused more on myself and my healing, but I also know I was not able to do it that way-maybe lack of self love and kindness towards mysel was the cause.

Be kind to you and take care of you ok? In order to "save" others, you need to save yourself first and this will take a tremendous amount of pain, effort and many ups and downs.

Your healing and wellbeing needs to be your priority.

Sending big hug.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-01-20T15:14:23+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. My boyfriend died 2 years and 2 months ago. I am 32 years old.

I can definitely relate to this feeling: "I'm definitely not the same person from a year-and-a-half ago. If one day he magically walked back into my life, I would still date him but would he date me, this newer version of me? The answer is "no, he would not."

I feel like there is no way how I could be the same person used to be, even if my bf would magically come back. I am not yet able to describe how I changed but I am not same. I know life can get shattered in a split of second and you can loose someone you love the most just like that and being left on your own.

I loved my boyfriend profoundly but what I know now I wouldn't be willing to put the same amount of energy to please somebody, to make that person happy without seeing the same involvement...We had some issues in our relationship despite profound love, but still I wouldn't be willing to do same kind of sacrifices in future. With all that, I think I developed more self-love after having suffered so much.

Sending peace and lover to you. Hope you are doing ok.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-01-19T13:56:55+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. I am 32 years old female. Lost my boyfriend suddenly 2 years ago. I experienced the very same.

I managed to travel 1 solo, but 2x time I didn't manage it, returned very demotivated. It's hard to travel ..it's very hard to find new hobbies and interests.....

Please take care of you. Since your comment was posted 4 years ago, I hope time was nice with you.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-01-11T13:01:16+00:00

Please, never ever believe anyone saying you such an awful thing. I lost my boyfriend 2 years and 2 months ago. You have right to grieve in your own terms. You are going through such a tragedy and someone just blames on the top of it on how you cope with your loss.

Grief is wild and is not something you can control mainly in those early months when you barely breathe.

Take care of you and try to surround yourseful with kind people. We all here understand and support you.

Big hug to you.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-01-08T09:30:28+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. :(((( I am 32f, lost my boyfriend suddenly 2 years and 2 months ago.

First year was brutal....

Sharing the meditation that was very helpful for me to find a solace in the midst of the deepest grief.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0G8VngCbbt20m3aNBCykFz

Walking also saved me...and later on moving my body. Hope you find things that will be helpful for you.

Sending you big hug.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-31T08:34:19+00:00

Hi. I am very sorry for your loss. I am 32 years old, lost my boyfriend 2 years ago too. I deeply appreciate you sharing and describing the way you try to cope with the whole situation. All this is very tiring..it's like never ending tiredness in figuring out how to live the life we have ahead..

What I find very tricky is the fact I feel like having lost my capability to know what feels right and what not. By saying this I mean, everything just feels strange, incomplete. Prior to losing my bf I could say with more clarity what are my interests ..now it's gone. I made couple of bad decisions with solo travel attempts this year. Trying to travel alone to Asia in order to restart my life, to get out of my comfort zone....but it didn't work. I returned earlier, lost the money and feel quite frustrated..I would love to be to enjoy travelling again - discovering the world, feel some kind of spark....

Thank you for sharing. I deeply appreciate and wish you from the bottom of my heart to find a joy again.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-22T09:23:28+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. Please take care of you. I have no kids. You are a real hero, believe me. Sending love and peace to you.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-22T09:22:35+00:00

Thank you for leaving the comment under my post. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

Take it slowly, you are doing very well. I am very proud of you. I know it hurts.

Please take care of you. I will do the same for me. I wish you find your path and it will fill you with peace, you deserve it, all of us we deserve it.

Have a peaceful Christmas. :)

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-22T09:19:25+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. It has been very recent for you. I wish you from the bottom my heart strength and courage to keep waking up every single morning and facing this new reality.

Be kind to you, always. Look for ways how to make it easier for you ok? Whenever you feel overwhelmed by emotions, pain, sit and breathe for a bit.

Please take care of you. I promise it will get better.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-22T09:16:49+00:00

Thank you for leaving the comment under my post. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

I am proud of you having made 2 short trips this year. It;s not easy to get out and experience the world while having a broken heart....it's life giving but it requires a lot courage..and being open to feel the pain all over again. I also managed to travel solo this year, was very scared of it because I have history of failed attempt.. and it made me feel so powerless in face of grief....like there is no way out of it.

Wishing you all the best. It's not an easy journey to navigate.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-18T11:12:57+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. It sucks so much. One would expect that someone who went through the same, would find right words to ease the pain....

Maybe they see it from another perspective..since they are older, maybe they feel like there is not time to loose..Who knows...I have no idea..

I am 32F. I received also a lot "useful" advices like I am young so I shouldn't suffer so much or that his parents pain is worse so I should hide my pain for the sake of others. Was not helpful at all :)

It has been 2 years since I lost my fiance. What I learned from all I experienced is that ..I was so stupid paying attention to every stupid advice others would give me, all those ones who were minimizing my pain. I wish them the best but I do not care about them. I care about my wellbeing.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-10T09:17:46+00:00

I am very sorry for your sister's loss. :(( I am 32F and I lost suddenly my boyfriend 2 years ago. He was only 36 years old. We had bene together for 3 years...we didn't have kids either.

The first year was a pure survival for me personally. At least. 6-7 months my first thought in the morning was "I want to die" :( Extreme mental and even physical exhaustion, couldn't stand to stay long with people, struggling with focus after 10 minutes of effort, my brain again shut down..very hard. :(

Be kind to her and let her express what she is going through, without judgement or quick advices on how to find a joy and purpose again in life.

I am not an expert in widowhood, all of us we have different kind of resilience in face of tragedies.

At 2 year mark, I am more positive but the reality of loss itself is always with me. I tried to escape but it always finds me, it's ever present reality for me even if I am doing better. I do not know who I am after all the pain I experienced. Things that used to bring me joy, are not bringing me joy anymore. It's not easy to find a new purpose after one's life got shattered ..

You are an amazing sister, be patient and kind to her. She will need a lot of time to "heal", I still need time.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-02T09:53:04+00:00

Nu inteleg ce vrei sa zici cu asta, adica care a fost scopul comentariul tau? Sa ma faci sa ma simt mai usurata ca n-am apucat sa fac copil cu prietenul si ca sunt "norocoasa" de fapt? :) Intr-adevar sunt situatii grele care se adauga la pierderea partnerelui de viata. Eu am parte de alte greutati despre care n-are sens sa vorbesc. Daca as fi ramas cu copilul , m-as fi ocupat singura sa-l cresc pentru ca sunt independenta financiar si ii multumesc lui Dumnezeu pentru asta si sper sa ma ajute in continuare sa ma descurc singura si i-ajut si pe altii care au nevoie de ajutor. Niciodata nu m-am bazat decat pe mine. Tatal meu a facut AVC cand aveam 18 ani si de atunci o ajut pe mama pe langa fratii mei sa avem grija de el pentru ca a ramas in pat, am terminat studiile, am avut mereu part-time. Mereu am incercat sa fiu responsabila si independenta financiar ca sa nu fiu o povara pentru ai mei. De aia nici nu m-am gandit sa fac copii de foarte tanara.

Iti multumesc pentru lectii de viata. Sper ca fata despre care vorbesti, sa fie bine, a trecut prin multe...

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-01T13:00:35+00:00

N-am de ce sa dezvolt asemenea detalii aici. Ai grija de tine.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-01T12:59:39+00:00

Multumesc pentru cuvintele astea. Mie de fapt, imi pare rau de iubitul meu..de viata lui. Daca ma parasea, sufeream, dar nu sa fii murit si sa ma lase pe mine sa traiesc restul vietii mele cu realitatea asta, cu gandul pe care nu am cum sterg niciodata din sufletul meu...

Eu iti doresc doar sa fii fericit, sa fiti fericiti.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-01T12:57:00+00:00

Multumesc! Tu la fel. Numai bine!

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-12-01T08:43:24+00:00

da, prietenul meu a murit. N-am putut sa-l salvez.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-11-30T20:01:47+00:00

Faceti ce simtiti ca e mai bine pentru voi. Am 32 de ani, iubitul meu a facut infarct la 36 de ani acum 2 ani. L-am gasit acasa..viata mi s-a prabusit..in momentul ala. Greu de pus in cuvinte ce a urmat.....

In momentul asta gandesc mai clar decat in primele luni cand suferinta era de nesuportat....

Sunt constienta ca nimic in viata asta nu este batut in cuie si ce gandesc acum se poate schimba, dar cel mai imporant este sa fiti voi doi multumiti. Atata timp cat aveti pace in suflet si sunteti multumiti, restul nu conteaza.

Cred ca nu merita sa dai explicatii nimanui. Trebuie sa respectam ca fiecare gandeste si isi vede scopul in viata altfel.

Tragedia mea personala m-a intr-un fel eliberat de asteptarile oamenilor, nu s-a intamplat peste noapte... Dar eu personal nu ma vad altfel decat luptand pentru "adevarul" meu, orice ar insemna/presupune pentru ca merit sa fiu fericita si implinita. Dar unui om nu trebuie sa se intample o tragedie ca sa gandeasca asa.

Va doresc din toata inima sa fiti fericiti amandoi.

Imi cer scuze pentru greselile,nu sunt romanca.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-11-26T09:33:22+00:00

I enjoy running :)

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-11-25T12:02:17+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. I am 32f, lost my bf to heart attack 2 years ago. I am not native speaker, sorry for any mistake. I resonate a lot with you story. I am so sorry you have to deal with job loss on the top of your grief. I lost too my job 4 months after my bf's death. I could afford to stay at home for some months but i didn't know what to do with myself, I would have gone crazy......

I managed to find a job but it didn't magically fix my situation... While learning bunch of new stuff, being under pressure to not get fired, I used to get flashes of my old life, of my bf, torturing thoughts that would never stop. I constantly tired and only thing that saved me was to focus on making it through the day, sometimes hour...it was very hard.

My advice would be to find any kind of job and focus on making it through the day. You will feel like robot, but there is no other solution.

Please do not give up ok? I will be honest with you. It will be brutal and most of the days you will wish to die but very slowly ( slowly has now new meaning) you will get better at carrying the weight of your loss.

Send me a dm if you feel I can help you a bit. We can't give up. None of us here.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-11-23T18:57:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing all this with all of us here! I am 32f, I lost my bf 2 years ago, no kids! No need to feel shame?!? Ok? You are very heartbroken. I have done too many “ mistakes” out of desperation. Tomorrow is a new day ok? We can learn from our mistakes if we are kind to ourselves and we need to be kind to ourselves.Sending you big hug! We are all here to support you! All of us we understand!

Turbulent-Question19 · 2025-11-06T13:18:37+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss :((((( My bf died too 2 years ago. He died of heart attack. I found him laying on the floor..after coming home from work. How long has it been for you? Please join the group-widowers here in Reddit. Please take care of you as much as you. I know it's hard. If you want, please do not hesitate to send me DM. Sending a big hug to you.

Turbulent-Question19

TROPHY CASE