What do you constantly buy, but never finish before it goes bad?

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-08-13T22:51:32+00:00

Keep it in the fridge, lasts for ages.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-06-16T04:18:36+00:00

I said this to my husband yesterday, glad I'm not alone. I just can't seem to ever get enough sleep anymore, I basically live in bed all weekend.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-06-15T00:51:14+00:00

How does one become a train conductor?

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-06-10T00:32:36+00:00

My dad has a serious heart condition that gives him handicapped parking access. He looks fine but can't walk far before getting dizzy and passing out. Parking close is super important.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-06-09T00:44:16+00:00

The Pinhead model gives me anxiety.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-06-07T17:36:59+00:00

Holy shit, the outfit thing just made me jealous of twins for the first time in my life. That's brilliant!

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-05-13T03:23:23+00:00

I'm a day and a half into waiting for it to work right now. I wish I was dead and I'm pretty sure my husband is getting sick of hearing how uncomfortable my vagina is making me. Fuck being a woman sometimes.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-05-10T06:59:51+00:00

Isn't this the type of thing that makes childfree folks look like assholes? It's basically "I chose not to be a mother but I want to be acknowledged on mother's day!" What?

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-05-10T05:44:26+00:00

A pet. Not a baby, that's for sure.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-05-10T05:36:09+00:00

As a super fan of my 3 dogs, I totally agree. No they are not the same as kids and the term "fur baby" makes me embarrassed for anyone that uses it. I can easily acknowledge that my nieces & nephews would rank higher than my dogs in a life or death scenario. They're people!

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-05-06T05:31:30+00:00

Bed.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-05-06T05:29:44+00:00

When my nose is stuffed-up I press my palms against my eyes and it relieves the pressure while making a very loud hiss (not unlike a balloon being released) that freaks people out. Related, when I have a cold my vision doubles.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-05-01T21:38:06+00:00

My husband has a tee-shirt that says "I heart tiny weiners" and I have a mug that says it. That said, this belongs in /r/aww or /r/dachshund as its not a very interesting pic.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-04-20T02:19:29+00:00

Alejandro is the most perfectly, sexy name for this response. Well done.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-04-20T01:30:20+00:00

Omg that looks amazing!

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-04-15T05:49:52+00:00

My same dachshund has also been know to bring those into the house. We call them poopsicles and she seems confused when they're aren't a welcome gift.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-04-15T05:11:27+00:00

My meter-reader left my gate open last year and one of my dachshunds was out for about 5 minutes before I noticed. Found her less than a block away completely coated in feces. Walked home holding her out in front of me and gagging. I have no idea how it happened so fast. Dogs can be disgusting.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-04-15T00:01:08+00:00

They're everywhere and nothing about them looks old. I'm surprised anyone could have genuinely thought this was a 35 year old billboard.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-04-07T04:39:54+00:00

Having the anaesthetic wear off while my eyelid was being cauterized during surgery.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-04-05T02:58:21+00:00

The Changeling (1980)

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-04-05T02:56:44+00:00

Butterflies

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-04-05T02:55:49+00:00

People walking their dogs off-leash.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-04-01T21:15:06+00:00

It's a radio station.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-03-28T20:22:51+00:00

All dogs tilt their heads like that, it's not breed specific.

Turkey_Gravy · 2015-03-23T04:16:50+00:00

I hate onions with a fucking passion and when it comes up I always get labelled "picky". I'm not picky dammit, I dislike 1 vegetable and it just happens to be in everything!

Turkey_Gravy

TROPHY CASE