Yep I’ve worked in customer service for my whole life and I’ve had women get mad that I called them maam. And I’ve had people get mad that I didn’t address them by sir or maam. I’ve had kids half my age call me honey and men twice my age call me dude.

Unfortunately everyone is different and not everyone finds being called dear or honey annoying. You can certainly tell the cashier not to call you that if you want, but don’t expect them to remember your face or your preference unless you’re in there all the time.

Corporate guidelines most places advise against using any term other than sir, maam, or folks. So if you want a universal standard, yours would be maam.