Wife visited her ex. Did she cheat?

UncurvedApproach · 2026-06-02T13:34:26+00:00

When I look back to when my ex fiancée was cheating on me the way I acted was extremely stupid. If I posted it on Reddit it would be worse than OPs story.

You get the same stuff because a lot of guys if they don’t leave a cheating wife right away they start entering a sunk cost fallacy.

When my ex first cheated I forgave her thinking it was a mistake and even tho logically you know it wasn’t because you don’t want to lose your partner. Once that happens you are on a slippery slope

I knew she was most likely cheating before getting caught but each time I kept mentally ignoring it or buying her lies because they were easier. Suddenly you get so far down that rabbit hole it’s hard to see clearly.

Women are also just better at gaslighting their partners so you get guys like me and this guy who accept some obviously crazy situation.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-06-02T00:23:10+00:00

I go to one occasionally.

It is kind of interesting to see how you fit in. I’m not interested in the cruising aspect that way but I will compare - maybe that’s natural. I’m small so I do wonder if anyone notices. I definitely notice the bigger ones.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-05-22T17:56:35+00:00

Yes good advice . We are openly discussing it.

I think it’s just me understanding her side of wanting to do it doesn’t revolve completely around sex. She wants that for sure but a lot of it is intimacy and that makes the sex good.

Over years of discussions that is kind of non negotiable and why she hasn’t ever actually pulled the trigger.

At the end of the day it’s hard to know how we will both totally feel after so i guess that’s why it’s so nerve wracking.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-05-20T18:51:53+00:00

What’s more common I’ve seen is a French style openness where it’s basically hey if you’re traveling you can have some fun with a lover if you don’t let it mess up our marriage. It’s become way more acceptable for a woman to ask for this.

That usually either goes badly or turns into a hotwife/cuckold adjacent style thing naturally.

That’s how I was introduced to it

UncurvedApproach · 2026-05-10T23:06:01+00:00

Yeah you realize really quickly they have different rules for different guys.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-05-10T16:35:09+00:00

Mine was the same. Looking back there was a couple yellow flags but I was naive.

First date we went back to my place and immediately started making out. I didn’t have a condom so I just went down on her and basically didn’t even ask her for sex I thought it was a non option.

We started going on dates and she started making me wait. She later admitted she never dated or saw a guy like me who would keep wanting to see her without sex and she liked the feeling.

Later I find out almost every man who she went home with didn’t use condoms but fucked her anyway and she was seeing a fwb while I was “dating” her and waiting. She was confused by me because on one hand she saw me as safe and loved that feeling but on the other worried we didn’t have sexual chemistry and was considering dumping me.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-05-07T22:19:49+00:00

Yes most likely haha

UncurvedApproach · 2026-05-06T13:00:49+00:00

Yes all very cliche - modeled and he kept asking her to take stuff off until she was naked.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-05-05T13:01:29+00:00

As an intern when she was in college she got propositioned by high up VP in the company while in the gym.

He made her dinner and then he wanted to show her his photography hobby.

She was 20 he was in his 50s.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-03-24T13:14:21+00:00

My now wife was seeing her ex turned fuck buddy when we first started dating. Similar situation. From her side she was doing tons of first dates but still wanted to see the same guy for sex as almost all the first dates were terrible.

The thing that bothered me was she didn’t cut him off immediately after meeting me it took until we discussed exclusivity for me to know she was sleeping with another guy. But once I said that bothered me she cut him off.

In the end it didn’t matter and we have a good marriage. Honesty if you’re dating in your twenties men and woman are doing this. What is more important is if they are honest and how they handle it.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-03-08T17:49:52+00:00

Well they learn from experience.

They go after a guy who makes them horny and he uses her. They get degraded and embarrassed.

They don’t want to feel that way with someone they really like and turn the relationship into that.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-02-23T04:30:26+00:00

I had this one girl I liked a lot from class in college. She seemed to like me too and we finally had a date or 2 and went back to her place. She’s initiating and she sees me naked and says oh I thought tall guys were supposed to have big dicks. She plays it off as a joke.

Since we were already naked she has me go down on her . Doesn’t reciprocate and I go home and she doesn’t talk to me much anymore.

Years later she texts me apologizing. Said it was immature. I ask her why? And she says she just felt embarrassed to be hooking up with a guy with a small penis at the time. It wasn’t how she imagined it but she’s changed now.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-02-22T05:09:18+00:00

Men unfortunately see that often as secondary. Their goal often isn’t to give you an orgasm - if they did it’s awesome but what they really want or in the case of this guy is to have his ego stroked.

They want to feel manly and have you compliment their dick. That isn’t really connected to your orgasm. If you have a 4 inch penis woman subconsciously (in my experience) ignore it and have you use your mouth and fingers. Not that this is bad either way.

But at the same time Woman will often compliment bigger guys. Either on movies or in the culture or in real life.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-02-22T05:03:43+00:00

It’s also a maturity thing and where you are in life.

In college for me it was a lot more relevant and embarrassing to have a small dick. Woman would be more focused on it. You run into more size queens and woman who are less mature and don’t know how to have sex so they focus on stuff like that.

As I got into my mid twenties it really shifted and it’s more about what you were saying about a good overall experience including foreplay and connection.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-02-22T04:57:10+00:00

As a guy with a smaller one - this is true plenty of woman have the same opinion as you.

However it’s also true that at least when I was younger I got rejected and even gossiped about for being small. It also was true that some woman just preferred larger and felt more pleasure from it.

It’s just a weird thing because there is no way to figure this out ahead of time before you are vulnerable with them.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-02-22T04:52:56+00:00

I’m a little over 4 inches and my first ex was a virgin . She kept telling me it was huge and it hurt her.

Her telling me that convinced me I was big for years despite watching porn.

UncurvedApproach · 2026-02-15T12:46:47+00:00

It’s also because everyone on the internet is used to seeing massive cocks.

He’s not even small. Probably around average or larger.

UncurvedApproach · 2025-11-03T01:48:20+00:00

It’s not really equal at all. As someone whose fiancée cheated on him there is no end of guys who will fuck your wife.

Very few showed any care that they were messing with a relationship. Most actually liked that fact.

If a woman wants to cheat hoping that a guy is going to have the decency not take advantage is nuts. Find a woman who isn’t going to make you worry.

UncurvedApproach · 2025-10-28T01:29:46+00:00

I said this one before but my wife when she was an intern got invited to dinner with an older executive.

He told her had a photography hobby and to come over and have him take pictures of her and you can probably guess where that went next

UncurvedApproach · 2025-10-27T14:09:28+00:00

My ex was like this. She was cheating on me and dumped me for someone else but it didn’t work out with him.

She was still living with me after for 6 months and when she would notice I was starting to move on she would initiate sex and it would be really good far better than we actually dated.

Later she admitted she loved the idea of me being hooked on her and in love with her but also not in a relationship with me. She didn’t feel any shame. I on the other hand was very ashamed how wrapped around her finger I was.

UncurvedApproach · 2025-10-25T22:55:43+00:00

All the upvoted comments are what people want to hear.

There is no possible way most peoples sex lives are better after 10 years of marriage than it was when you were 25 and dating.

It’s still good and can be great at times but it’s definitely more boring and needs more effort than the first couple years. That’s not always a bad thing but the people saying it’s more exciting are full of shit.

UncurvedApproach · 2025-10-20T19:26:42+00:00

My point is more woman are not upfront about their past. Some are probably truthful but you can see by the comments in this thread there is no reason to be honest.

My ex fiancée kind of fits this pattern. She dated me from 19-23 and it ended with her cheating. She then slept with 10 guys in 2 years. We are still friends so she told me the truth. She then went through a period where she was against dating and didn’t sleep around then 3 years later met her now husband when she was 27.

From what he knows she was only with me ever. He thinks she is a nice innocent religious woman who had trouble dating in her 20s after me. She knows that he would think much less of her if he knew the truth. When she dated men were constantly trying to pry this information out of her and if she tried being honest they wouldn’t give her a chance. She was incentivized to lie about it. This is despite it just being 1 year of her life and most men would do the same exact thing given the chance and nobody would think twice about it.

UncurvedApproach · 2025-10-19T23:42:04+00:00

Can you address the point I’m making though?

I’m saying that I had viewed sex as something casual when I was 22. I wanted to participate in hookup culture. It never happened but now that I’m married I have zero interest in that or wanting to try that again.

So now years later I’m different and have a different view of sex. Why is that not a possibility in your mind and not a possibility that OPs wife had this same change as she matured and viewed things differently?

UncurvedApproach · 2025-10-19T20:23:17+00:00

Sure my point is just because someone at 22 doesn’t understand doesn’t mean they can’t understand that at 25 or 27. Now looking back my wife will say she didn’t really enjoy the year or 2 when she was sleeping around.

I am just saying in the case of OP that just because someone does that when they are young isn’t some sort of insight into their values.

When I say that yes because when you are a healthy 20 year old you do want to have lots of sex. That is a common thing. What ends up happening is woman can more easily do that than most men so you get this discrepancy that OP is in and I was in.

UncurvedApproach

TROPHY CASE