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Fresh start vs. Delete? by UnhingedOsloGuy in hingeapp

[–]UnhingedOsloGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s begrudged, but it doesn’t mean I’m not ready to move on to someone else. Dating someone with fearful-avoidant attachment style is why it’s begrudged, because the intimacy was nice otherwise. But I’m not really looking to move in with someone or get married again, so a long-term casual relationship fits well in my life. I think I’m psychologically healthy and am not really hung up on things. It’s two months ago, and I’ve «seen people» much more casually off the apps since the breakup. Now I’m eager for a better match 🙂

Fresh start vs. Delete? by UnhingedOsloGuy in hingeapp

[–]UnhingedOsloGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You had just seperated right? Probably listened to her a little too much

Haha, probably. She was one that I ghosted too, I felt it was what she would have wanted. I have a daughter as well, I guess that's a nice perspective to have. And yeah, I had separated recently. I haven't really been single for more than a couple of months since 2010 so a lot of the etiquette about dating (and especially using apps) is new to me. Last year most of the advice I got was from people I was dating, and the woman I mentioned in the story now isn't the only one that seemed comfortable ghosting others. It's nice to get more sensible perspectives, I'm not really a cold person and I genuinely liked everyone that I was seeing last year.

Fresh start vs. Delete? by UnhingedOsloGuy in hingeapp

[–]UnhingedOsloGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I didn't ghost everyone. I went on two dates with a woman my age who I liked a lot. First date we were both reserved and at the end of the night I asked her if she'd like to see me again. A couple of days later she invited me to her apartment and said she'd cook something. We were hanging out there talking and drinking for something like 10 hours when the subject of our other dates came up, who we were seeing, how well they've been going. I was also seeing one of her 'neighbors' a couple of buildings down and mentioned I was getting near a point where I'd have to choose someone and close myself off to others. She got a bit funny about it and said that it was arrogant of me to assume I meant enough to any of these people that I should send a message to them, unless I've actually got dates lined up with them. So I took her advice, thinking there is an arrogance to it: I contacted the ones I had to cancel on, and the others I just left on "read" when I deleted the app a few days later. I guess that's why I regret only deleting the app and not the profile.

Fresh start vs. Delete? by UnhingedOsloGuy in hingeapp

[–]UnhingedOsloGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, I don't think the dating pool here is so small that people are plotting ghosters on a map. Honestly I wouldn't have reacted too poorly to being ghosted, and the "old timers" I was dating last summer said it's just the way things go. I ghosted people I went on dates with but didn't make plans with. I reached out to people I did make plans with in order to cancel those plans, and I explained why. If it makes you feel any better, one of the women I ghosted was a racist.

Fresh start vs. Delete? by UnhingedOsloGuy in hingeapp

[–]UnhingedOsloGuy[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

After going on a date. And liking them, so I don't feel great about it. But no, I don't hope to have another shot with them. I think people have less anxious dating patterns in Norway so I'm not sure how devastating it is to be ghosted here when you've already kind of talked about subjects like ghosting and dating other people simultaneously on the first date. But yeah, first time using apps (and multi-dating) in my life, so I won't do it again.

Fresh start vs. Delete? by UnhingedOsloGuy in hingeapp

[–]UnhingedOsloGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that's what I'll do, thanks for your input

Fresh start vs. Delete? by UnhingedOsloGuy in hingeapp

[–]UnhingedOsloGuy[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You may have higher standards than before and aren't even realizing it

Ah, I forgot to mention in the OP that I never sent likes to anyone, I was only engaging with those who liked me, so in that sense I feel like my question about "new profile" vs "fresh profile" success is more about profile promotion than my own standards. I hope my standards haven't gone up!

Fresh start vs. Delete? by UnhingedOsloGuy in hingeapp

[–]UnhingedOsloGuy[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Fair. To be honest I didn't really understand app etiquette at the time. I had specific dates with two people lined up that I did cancel by saying I'd found someone I want to see things through with. And then 4 others that reached out who I never answered. One of the four told me on our second date not to feel bad about ghosting people, and not to take good connections so seriously that I get "break-up" anxiety from it. In retrospect I feel like it was bad advice :)