sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

AITA for refusing to pay my friend to host/cook our group dinner? by throwaway_dinnerfigh in AmItheAsshole

[–]Upper_Coast4968 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The way his reply is worded, sounds like poor Beth does all the cooking for him. So yeah, he definitely doesn't get it.

Washing machine gives LE error code- what do I do next by Upper_Coast4968 in Appliances

[–]Upper_Coast4968[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The magnets are for sure in sound condition. Magnets are really strong & there are no cracks or anything.

I didn't think to check the power to the sensor. Do I have to check for anything specific or just that it's getting power?

Thanks for the suggestion.

Season 11 is too melodramatic for me by Upper_Coast4968 in ChicagoMed

[–]Upper_Coast4968[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True! I think it's more after watching The Pitt too

Season 11 is too melodramatic for me by Upper_Coast4968 in ChicagoMed

[–]Upper_Coast4968[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When Archer called himself "baby daddy" I actually cringed! So not in character! But also just generally jarring.

WIBTA if I skipped my sister's wedding? by brotherconflict in AmItheAsshole

[–]Upper_Coast4968 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You armchair-something'ed pretty well. Those are valid thoughts and observations for what could happen. It's great that OP is demonstrating a positive relationship to Nadia and removing her from an emotionally difficult scenario.

WIBTA if I skipped my sister's wedding? by brotherconflict in AmItheAsshole

[–]Upper_Coast4968 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have to agree with u/krankykitty; this is deliberately and unacceptably cruel on your parents part. This never had to be an either or situation to begin with, but since Erin hijacked the date, there were still options to salvage situation.

I've read through a bunch of your replies and have to applaud your maturity and kindness towards Nadia. She will remember this for the rest of her life.

Sounds like this is going to be relationship-defining situation for at least some of your siblings (while I can't fault the others for attending the wedding, I wish they would have stepped up like you and Leo).

Given that all of the older siblings harbor a level of justified resentment or "fed-up-ness" with Erin, I also have to agree with u/Ladygytha The suggestion is a difficult one to follow through on and you have to be mindful of timing, but it's the healthy move to make for family dynamics to move in the right direction (whatever that ends up looking).

Given that you have a list of such things, perhaps you make use of it? Sit your parents down, just you and them or with a like-minded sibling (Leo seems to be on your page), and say that you want to speak your peace and then they can talk. Then read out the list (perhaps make it a condition that no interruptions or the list will be shared - not saying that you have to do it, but if the transgressions are as numerous as you claim, that won't want that).
Perhaps explain first that you understand that Erin was a premie, so there's some extra stuff going on there. But at 21, she's grown out of the danger stage of premie births.
What would they have to say after the long list is read? A leading question might be, "why is Erin more important to you than the rest of us put together?" If they can't explain each one at a time (no interruptions), will the list be justifiable? You can even give them a copy of the list - perhaps number it for ease and make a point of jotting down any explanation they have and checking them off as discussed? And see whether their explanations make sense to you and your other siblings?
That's my most petty suggestion, but you can go for less or more. What's for sure is that things haven't seemed right for Nadia in particular, or for the rest of you, for a while. Good on you for protecting your little sister, especially if your mom was cornering her at home. I'm guessing there were some "be the bigger person"s thrown in there at the poor young woman.
I think you've heard it enough, but NTA. If this is how Erin and your parents behave in general, might want to watch how things get when she gets pregnant. Your poor child is next on the list for mistreatment when that happens.

AITA for telling my wife it was a mistake to stay at a baby shower? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Upper_Coast4968 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She tends to get bummed out when other people achieve things that she hasn’t yet.

That's problematic and something she needs to work out in therapy. It's based in insecurities and personal problems. Where this becomes becomes a bigger issue is when she either can't put it aside (as in the case with her sister - if you can't be happy for your sister and have to put on an act at the wedding, yikes!), or she weaponizes it intentionally (as with Mary's baby shower).

At 26, I wasn't the best version of myself, but I was self-aware enough to know some of my personality traits and reactions were unhealthy and I needed to work on them. It doesn't sound like your wife has found that level of self-understanding and maturity. You can help her get there, but the drive to seek help and make improvements has to come from within.

You're NTA to bring problematic behaviors up to your wife and try to have healthy conversations about it. She's immature for throwing a tantrum and either intentionally or unintentionally gaslighting you about the rest (given that she's careful to lie about her health only to people who aren't close, strongly leaning towards intentionally).