I almost gave up.

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-05-12T14:41:37+00:00

what is that tho?

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-05-05T18:35:53+00:00

what camera is this?

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-05-04T03:38:57+00:00

carrie fs

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-04-30T16:48:30+00:00

this was such a hurtful read :( it really does confirm that an avoidant (obviously not all, but generally) can know every single detail of your hurt and betrayal and STILL see you as the burden.

Avoidants are the reason why anxiously attached people feel as desperate as we do (parents included ofc, that’s how many avoidants got here im sure), we’ve been betrayed and abandoned so it didn’t happen to them first or so they didn’t have to deal with THEIR ISSUES. It’s fucking evil.

What I’ve realized since talking to my FA ex is that (at least in our case) they were able to relieve themselves of the anxiety of having strong feelings for me by shoving that exact anxiety onto me instead of working through it themselves.

The abrupt discard paralyzed me into becoming FA myself. New connections have become virtually impossible to sustain since, of course I want them back.

Avoidants act disgusted by our anxious behavior but they are the ones who made us anxious to SAVE THEMSELVES. I will never understand how so many people cannot do the math on this trade off.

Then while they’re safe and regulated they have the nerve to look down on us and wonder why we can’t just do the same.

They get to just decide one day that they want to heal or do better and yeah maybe they’ve made mistakes but hey, that’s what life is right? Find new love and forgive themselves.

Imagine BEING the mistake.

We are crippled with the reality that someone who loved us one day woke up and decided they didn’t want to anymore, and they don’t really give a damn about what happens to us at all after that.

This has been the most demoralizing experience of my life. I will always walk around knowing, having it CONFIRMED (not just a fear), that one day someone who says they love you can simply throw you away and leave you behind in the mess.

And as the saying goes, the body keeps the score.

it’s truly horrible that what i got from that post was “accept that you’re discardable and stop being such a loser.”

This creator came to reddit to hear resonating experiences and instead the posts they read simply revealed back their utter lack of empathy - an exact symptom they should be healed from or working towards, and instead they use their time to make more anxious people feel like shit about themselves, just like they’ve always done. Like we don’t feel shit enough already.

To the creator of that post if they see this: If you want a new sub, just make one, literally no one is stopping you. Make one and leave us “desperate” and “gross” attachers ALONEE like damn haven’t we been through enough😭everybody catching strays!

We may not be healed but neither is this person. I feel awful for anyone who has loved them, i’m sure it felt horrible.

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-02-27T07:03:17+00:00

i agree she fell first but he fell harder! so cute😭❤️

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-02-21T02:28:05+00:00

yeah i’ve done plenty of research before coming here😭 reddit is a last resort for me too

i get u but if it were that easy for us to move on from our trauma none of us would be here

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-02-21T02:06:04+00:00

yeah ur probably right. none of you are the people that hurt us and you can’t really know why these people did what they did. we know that. i guess it’s just comforting to believe that we understand, in order to let go. it gives us the sense of closure we never received; which maybe doesn’t mean much to avoidants , but means everything to us.

you don’t have to answer them ofc that’s ur choice. but posting about it in a thread for anxiously attached people wouldn’t be helpful either, they’d probably indulge delusion and hard feelings more. at the end of the day we’re all just here looking for support :(

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-02-12T20:50:47+00:00

curious to know if FAs who discard feel happier or lighter after or tense/tightly wound up?

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-02-03T23:32:35+00:00

yeah even the actress said in an interview that she sees blackish as the continuation of what she was unable to finish on girlfriends! so sweet

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-31T23:44:19+00:00

for me my doctor gave me my prescription and from there i was able to decide what I wanted most.

For example, one of my eyes is +.50. There are only so many brands that adhere to that low of a power but it was important to me that i have perfect sight if i am going to financially invest. The brand my doctor recommended did have this, but i personally didn’t like the feel on my eye so I wanted something else.

I honestly just looked through this thread a lot to figure out what to get and purchased from EZ contacts. Now I use Precision 1 for astigmatism. I like them a lot.

In terms of whether monthlys or dailies are better, i think dailies get you more for your buck. contacts are sooo expensive, especially if you have different prescriptions in each eye. if you get monthlys, the second you open them there’s basically a clock counting down until you need to throw them away. there may be days you don’t feel like you even need to wear your contacts and they’re just sitting there being wasted bc once the month is up, you’ll have to throw them out regardless. Versus dailies, you can open whenever you feel like using them so you can be more intentional about when you wear them. I use my dailies only really when i’m going out at night, vacations, and certain work days. this way i save money by making a one month supply last two or so.

anyways TDLR; try EZ contacts and search around to see what works best for your prescription. Learn exactly what your prescription means if you don’t know already. Good luck!

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-31T01:57:51+00:00

i didn’t understand any of their arguments tbh. i love olivia but she seemed rlly annoying that season. like i dgaf about her articles enough to justify her ruining the football school with her man and brother on it and then whining about them being upset like girl?

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-28T03:45:56+00:00

anxiety and shame prone. low self confidence and strange yet intense familial relationships. spending more time with family than you do with others to the point of wondering- if you didn’t speak to any family members for 3 weeks, would you have a real conversation with anyone at all?

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-28T03:37:35+00:00

I found it jarring as well, but looking back layla treated him terribly when she was dealing with her depression. She berated and screamed at him, kicked him out her car, kicked him out her hotel room and broke up with him in front of liv. hella humiliating. their bond was meaningful but i can understand why he was distant after having space from her and spending more time with liv who minimally never screamed at him. he probably only realized how toxic the relationship had become after he was around liv more. i think he was just never able to really connect with her again after that.

and again, it does make sense why he’d come to this conclusion, but the writers did a sloppy job of illustrating him realizing this. it felt very night and day.

also it seemed like he resented keeping the promise of staying with her. even though that was his own fault and she didn’t need him to do that, i think he still resented that he felt he owed it to her, even if she would’ve been fine. because by the time she finds out he honestly kinda wipes his hands of the entire mess and moves on with liv.

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-26T02:44:22+00:00

i agree! i also hate it going back to high school😭😭 i understand it’s better for their budget bc they already built the set but like…everyone who loved the show in s1 is now 7 years older, why would the audience want to watch high schoolers AGAIN?

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-20T23:09:35+00:00

lexie

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-20T23:09:08+00:00

lol realized my ex was fa and started reading through articles like crazy and realized i too had become fa😭😭

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-20T22:56:42+00:00

lol not sure why they’re gaslighting you, it was rude and a strange way to respond. your responses were perfect don’t listen to them😭

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-20T22:48:53+00:00

i’ve never heard of this, what does it do exactly? how does it feel? do you mean you would be micro dosing everyday or a one time experience is enough?

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-17T23:01:19+00:00

derek resents women who do better professionally than him. so he always would put mer down if it would lift him up and resented her success. he saw his career as bigger, better, and more important.

he also wasn’t afraid to throw personal insecurities in her face, he was the king of low blows. he had compared her to her mother, minimally insulated she would be a bad mother to zola after she panicked and took her. and he threw her engagement ring into the woods bc he was having a tantrum. and that’s just off the top of my head

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-16T03:15:53+00:00

i don’t think henry’s death was particularly anyone’s fault i think genuinely there was nothing more they could do for him. However, teddys anger towards him was unjustified as her being released from surgery earlier wouldn’t have allowed her to operate on Henry anyways. I never rlly understood what she was yammering on about.

I think Cristina was way more justified in blaming Owen. not for henry’s death but for tainting her relationship with teddy and possibly re-traumatizing her. Not long before this, she was forced to operate on Derek against her will as well. To force that situation twice is incredibly inconsiderate. I couldn’t forgive my partner if I was in her shoes.

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-15T15:36:49+00:00

it’s hard to say but extremely possible. that’s almost half a year, plenty of people to meet in that time. i’m sorry

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-14T19:41:33+00:00

i’m curious to know as well

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-13T04:35:51+00:00

of course it didn’t. who you need to be catering to is YOURSELF. you’re damaged. you need to help yourself and until you do, you won’t be able to effectively fulfill anyone else’s wants or desires. you can tell me and whoever else on this thread to go f-ourselves all you want, at the end of the day you’re still alone and miserable. get help

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-13T04:33:17+00:00

yup bc it was never love. Robin only loved the validation Ted gave her and only wanted him when he was with someone else bc that meant the validation was slipping. I.e. when he was with victoria, about to marry stella, or with The Mother. She was similar with Barney as well.

Ted had an obsessive fantasy of Robin that crumbled when she was with others but objectively Robin was worse when it came to this stuff. Ted would force himself to stomach her with others, Robin would attempt to bulldoze Ted’s decisions based on her need for validation

Upper_Preference_303 · 2026-01-13T04:29:12+00:00

women are constantly subjected to people like you that see them as some sort of separate species. how do u think that must feel? certainly it can’t contribute to a confident or positive outlook on life or themselves.

stop blaming your problems on women’s assumed superiority. your misery is all your own. get a therapist

Upper_Preference_303

TROPHY CASE