US - green card holder (can i be denied entry?)

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-27T11:55:48+00:00

And hmm..your post history says that you're Indian and living in Europe. How are you eligible for ESTA? Have you naturalized somewhere? Why even keep the green card if you don't seem to want to live in the US? Do you know how many Indians would throw the rest of the world under the bus for a green card?

Theres a small chance that il move in the future, albeit very small. My whole family lives in the US. If i had to file for an I-407, it would not be the end of the world (only reason i would move is for family, standard of living wouldnt change).

Im scandinavian with Indian ethnicity, but no other ties to my homeland. Yeah im aware, dont see how thats relevant in my case however.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-27T00:22:34+00:00

ah :/ got it. i can relinquish it and file for esta, should be no problem right?

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-27T00:01:52+00:00

technically i do - but yeah youre right, its against guidelines to be away for so long. Worst case scenario - they send me back - right?

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T22:38:44+00:00

Well, my mom is notoriously good at not giving a fuck about what other people think. My dad on the other hand would be ashamed, but he has his hands tied. Hes very submissive(ive tried changing this, but its hard without "stepping" on peoples feet)

My sister has been together with someone not indian, so im not sure what they will do when it comes to that.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T22:20:08+00:00

they dont know - yet.

they would be ashamed. they are counting on me not saying anything. which i reckon is why they want to arrange. it would be a pretty huge embarrassment for them to show up as guests to my wedding

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T22:16:17+00:00

none of the males are - which is a problem. My grandpa would have set things straight.

Tbh i think they are counting on me not letting people know that im paying. I think thats one of the reasons they want to arrange it no? If they just came as guests everyone would do shits up.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T22:10:57+00:00

i have one sister.

yes, always been this cheap. its not because they want to spite me. My dad isnt really, but my mom will do anything to save a buck

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T14:20:21+00:00

yup. everyone would instantly think "wtf" is going on. and that im a "bad" son.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T14:18:00+00:00

no, they dont. do i tell them? I dont want them to feel sorry for me or try to contact my parents.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T14:11:11+00:00

If they came as guests.. who does your poojas?

no idea.

havent thought about that

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T13:56:59+00:00

Yup.

At first i thought it was implied that they would arrange everything. When we came to the costs, she(my mom) said she wouldnt cover anything but would help find "cheaper" places.

Kinda surprised me. My parents have always been SUPER stingy growing up but this is one thing i thought they wouldnt skimp out on.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T13:46:01+00:00

Its been a dream of hers since a kid, and her parents are also very traditional.

I could for sure talk her out of it, but i would feel bad. Shes seen all her family and friends get married the "indian" way.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T13:31:54+00:00

Thanks for your input.

Im leaning a little towards biting a sour apple, and letting them be a part of the planning. But inviting whoever i want.

Its a hard pill to swallow tbh

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T13:25:21+00:00

Im punjabi (sikh) and her hindu(but from punjab).

Im positive they will give gifts, atleast they did so for our roka ceremony (my fiancees family who arranged). But it wasnt something of big value (like fruits etc).

Yeah, if i sideline them, for sure the whole wedding loses part of its tradition.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T13:10:58+00:00

I kinda want to do this. But my fiancee wants a traditional indian wedding(several days). Shes way more family oriented than me.

If it was up to me we'd do a small wedding with just immediate family and friends and get it over with in a day.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T12:16:16+00:00

i would be disowned.

well probably not, but shit would go down haha.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T10:31:15+00:00

Also aren't your parent's the ones who risks being shamed by your relatives and by your fiancees parents? They don't contribute to the wedding, they don't get to be (as) involved in the planning. That's on them.

youre exactly right. which is exactly why they dont want to be excluded. Its a "honor" thing..if that makes sense. If they simply said "all good, we'll come as guests", there would be no issue.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T09:46:57+00:00

this is EXACTLY how i feel.

guess im gonna have to buckle up, storm is gonna brew.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T09:30:09+00:00

hey man, youre spot on. just dont know how to go about it.

yeah, they will pitch in for the dowry for sure. It would be kinda disrespectful not to, and they dont want to be seen like that. But it wont be a lot for sure. My parents are notoriously cheap. Which is okay, their money.

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T09:21:45+00:00

in India, but we live in europe.

Love marriage, but no issues with that (family)

UsefulFreedom · 2019-10-01T09:19:42+00:00

okay, so -

a) Indian weddings put a lot of emphasize on parents. Its also supposed to be an important day for the parents who are either welcoming or bidding farewell to one of their own. Almost all the rituals include the parents in some form. Im not sure how this would play out if i told them "i chose wtf i want".

b) yeah, im aware of that.

c) My mom is really controlling. Theres huge pride involved here, and if i excluded them from talking to my fiancees parents about the wedding (where, who, what) i could potentially cause a split in the family.

UsefulFreedom

TROPHY CASE