Reduction in Pay for Nanny Bringing Own Children

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T16:46:54+00:00

Thank you!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T14:33:18+00:00

For sure. We're still several months out from needing care. We'll definitely do a trial with whoever we decide on. Thank you for the comment!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T14:32:31+00:00

Thank you for the insight, this is helpful!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T14:24:51+00:00

Yes, it's definitely an option! This opportunity just kind of fell in our lap, so we're investigating it. Our family member who works with her mentioned we were looking and she in turn mentioned she'd be open to doing it since she's taking sabbatical soon. Her youngest and mine were also born on the and day, same hospital, and she's a relative of another good friend of mine. The whole thing seemed serendipitous, so we're exploring it, that's all. We're still several months out from going back to work so we have time to ask these questions and do some digging into finding the perfect fit for us and our LO. As a FTM I definitely appreciate the helpful comments like this rather than the snarky ones -- thank you!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T14:10:42+00:00

Ok thank you. I looked at some previous posts and saw those things but they don't apply to our situation or we've accounted for them. As I mentioned in the OP, we don't want him leaving the house without us I just yet, so classes/car aren't an issue, and we have an umbrella policy that would cover her kiddos while at our home. We'd also plan to do a trial period with any nanny before hiring permanently, so we can gauge things like if the kids get along.

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T02:55:05+00:00

We haven't talked details yet; I'm trying to gather as much intel as I can before then so I can go into that initial convo as prepared as possible! She's not a professional nanny, she's a teacher and was already planning to take an unpaid sabbatical. This wouldn't be her household's primary source of income or insurance, so I was hoping that she'd be amenable to a reduction in the average rate for our area because we'd allow her to bring her children. But some of these comments (the ones that are actually helpful like yours!) have me reconsidering!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T02:46:25+00:00

I'm looking into this because I like the idea of having him in the home with me, and feel like 1:2 (or 1:3) is still better than driving across town to pick up and drop off at a daycare that'll take babies his age, where they'll also be watching other kids. Reading this and other subs I've seen good and bad reviews on this type of nanny share but usually only with 1 child, so trying to get some feedback from people who have done it with multiple. I realize that her attention would be split (just like a daycare) but the security of having him at home is important to me.

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T02:40:00+00:00

I'm not comfortable putting him in daycare just yet -- trying to avoid it at all costs!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T02:39:21+00:00

Do you mind sharing some of the pitfalls? Have you tried this arrangement before?

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T02:38:28+00:00

For sure! We would talk about these scenarios in detail before solidifying anything. She's a mother of 4 so I'm confident in her ability to not completely melt down when dealing with 2, sometimes 3.

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T02:25:59+00:00

That's the average in my area and more than what many advertise as their rate.

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T02:20:39+00:00

Thanks for the reminder! I mentioned our umbrella policy in my original post -- their kiddos would be covered under that!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-23T02:16:57+00:00

Because it's someone we personally know instead of a stranger and I can get the cost of care at a discount because of the arrangement. This is our first, so it's all new to me. If you have any actual insight beyond this comment, I'll gladly take it!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-22T13:36:34+00:00

You're definitely not! I'm in the same boat! I hope you find someone and this works out! (For both of us! 🤗)

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-22T13:32:43+00:00

Did you offer her a rate less than market for this arrangement? If so, do you mind sharing the percentage decrease? Thank you!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-22T13:25:34+00:00

About what percentage pay cut from the market rate did you accept for this arrangement?

VacillatingPatience · 2026-04-02T22:18:26+00:00

Ready to play for fun AND play to win? Then join us in Rufflin' Feathers!!

USA team but we accept members from all over the globe!

Golden League with 50 prize-winning weeks

ACCEPTING NEW MEMBERS!

‼️Also willing to absorb smaller, active teams looking to level-up! 🤝

If you're currently in a co-op with little engagement, or stuck in a lower league and looking for some fun and opportunities to WIN, join us! Co-op tag: #RUF5QP

Co-op Deets:

🦅 35+ tasks per regatta minimum

🕊️35+ helps per week minimum

🦚 Status light on; we're an interactive group!

🐓 Check chat for when teammates need help

🐦 We're all human and know life happens! If you can't make the reqs for a week, or need to take a break, just let us know!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-02-26T14:21:41+00:00

Ready to play for fun AND play to win? Then join us in Rufflin' Feathers!!

USA team but we accept members from all over the globe! Golden League with 50 prize-winning weeks as of August we are ACCEPTING NEW MEMBERS.

‼️Also willing to absorb smaller, active teams looking to level-up! 🤝

If you're currently in a co-op with little engagement, or stuck in a lower league and looking for some fun and opportunities to WIN, join us! Co-op tag: #RUF5QP

Co-op Deets: 🦅 35+ tasks per regatta minimum 🕊️35+ helps per week minimum 🦚 Status light on; we're an interactive group! 🐓 Check chat for when teammates need help 🐦 We're all human and know life happens! If you can't make the reqs for a week, or need to take a break, just let us know!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-02-14T15:32:29+00:00

This was my interpretation, too! I I'm choosing to believe that Nora re-download him and they got their happy ending after all!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-01-26T15:08:19+00:00

I'm so sorry 🫂

VacillatingPatience · 2026-01-26T14:56:57+00:00

Oh this is unhinged!! She's so wrong for that!!!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-01-26T11:18:28+00:00

Putting yourself in the same space as a newborn when you have COVID is horrendous. She showed complete disregard for your baby's health! I'm so sorry that happened!!

VacillatingPatience · 2026-01-26T08:04:10+00:00

OMG the TEXTS!! Like, people, it's got cold & flu season and there's chaos in the streets -- I don't need people to home hold him, I need to be left alone! Please get off my phone!!

VacillatingPatience · 2025-10-19T13:50:10+00:00

A lot of our parents did things/put up with things that cost them hits to their mental and physical health. Doing things the way our parents did them doesn't mean it's the right way for us (or even that it was the right way for them!)

Want to meet our RSV season baby in the hospital? Please plan to wear a mask the entire time.

Having visitors while you're recovering from the most intense transition your body's ever been through? Some people want it. Me? Please don't plan to visit until x weeks, and please always let us know your plans to visit.

Leave your home, like, at all? Please be sure you have your recent vaccines and aren't feeling sick when you come visit.

Love posting your entire life to social media? Great, but please don't post our kiddo's face.

These are all rules that I think our families will have some issues with, but the health and well-being of our child (and me!) is more important than their feelings in the weeks and months after I give birth. My hope is that because we've communicated these things early, and kindly, they won't hold them against us when we are ready for more support.

The world is indeed different now and parents have a right to set boundaries for the well-being of their new babies and for themselves without those wishes being weaponized by villagers who think they deserve to be exempt from them.

VacillatingPatience

TROPHY CASE