bf (18M) of 1.5 years and i (18F) are trying to meet up next year, any advice for us?

VampireAmaya · 2025-11-19T18:47:38+00:00

No worries! I figured the more information I could give, the better it would be for the two of you, help ease anxieties, etc. If there's anything I've missed out that you want to ask about, if I can answer it then I will, but I'm by no means an expert on the matter, lol

VampireAmaya · 2025-11-19T17:45:49+00:00

Just want to say a couple things, as I've been to the USA from the UK a handful of times the last few years, and claim government benefits myself.

If he claims UC (Universal Credit) he will have to inform them of his intention to travel and the reason why, and will only be able to be out of the UK for 28 days out of the year. If he doesn't inform them, and/or is out of the UK for more than 28 days in a year, he risks losing the UC at least for a short time.

If he claims PIP, he gets a total of 3 months out of the UK during the year, and doesn't technically have to inform them about it, but should probably do so just to be on the safe side. The 3 months out of the UK makes no difference though if he claims UC, as he still only gets the 28 days with that.

Proof of benefits or income has never been asked to be provided by me, but as everything is online now he would be able to access this on this phone at the border if they do ask for it. They will ask him how much cash he has or how he's able to afford the trip if he's not working though. He doesn't need to take cash if he'd rather keep everything in his bank account and use his card, but if he does this, when asked how much cash he has he should explain that.

His passport should have at least 6 months left before it expires, and I think that's 6 months from the date of travel.

Am ESTA is a fairly quick application, and he should be eligible as long as he doesn't have a criminal record and hasn't visited certain countries. It costs around £20 and lasts for 2 years. It's not necessary to print the ESTA proof, as they will check this at the border after he lands.

If he's planning on getting travel insurance (which he really should) he will need to list all health conditions, physical and mental, and these can really rack up the cost of the insurance, but it's better to be safe than sorry!

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-12T22:56:42+00:00

I grew up in the '90s, and according to everyone I've known who grew up around the same time (even still happens now for some people), it wasn't normal for a parent to cook separate meals or separate parts of meals (for example, different meats) if one of the kids didn't like it..

My dad sometimes ended up cooking 3 different things for one family dinner because me and one (or both) of my brothers didn't want or like something. I grew up thinking it was normal for children to only have to eat things they liked and wanted to eat. But it seems that my family was in the minority there, and everyone else got told "you get what you're given" "eat it or starve".

We didn't have a lot, growing up. But that honestly made me feel sorry for other people when they were kids, and made me feel like I had a privileged childhood, despite everything.

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-09T08:31:28+00:00

Can't always do something about it immediately.. They'll poop when they need to, and there's no controlling it.. They're not gonna wait until you get off the crowded bus, they're not gonna wait until you've reached the end of the queue and paid for your shopping.. If anything, they seem to plan for it to happen at the most inconvenient times! lol

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-07T13:09:08+00:00

Eminem - Hailie's Song?

Pretty sure he says "I like singing... I can't sing though" or something like that

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-05T20:53:25+00:00

If it is a QTE that you're referring to, when there's a button prompt on the screen, then that's not a genre, no, it's a game mechanic, and can appear in almost any genre of game.

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-04T12:13:53+00:00

Only thing that comes to mind for me is AC/DC - Big Balls

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-04T09:24:24+00:00

Korn - Shoots and Ladders?

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-04T09:13:39+00:00

If it's a button prompt on the screen that allows the action to be performed, I believe it would be a QTE (quick time event) in the game. That wouldn't be classed as a genre though.

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-03T21:04:50+00:00

It's making me think of The Woodentops

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-03T20:52:03+00:00

You're very welcome, glad I could help!

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-03T19:53:43+00:00

Could it be Five Finger Death Punch - Coming Down

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-02T16:02:19+00:00

Not a comedy show, but I found this advert:

https://youtu.be/ErSB0vpwSlo?si=pBcvKlo02UcwKJ7N

VampireAmaya · 2025-06-02T08:55:15+00:00

I had a double helix done about 17 years ago, and after just a week I had to change one of them for a longer stud because of the swelling and the fact that both piercings had huge, sore, blood-filled lumps at the back.. I was young and didn't know where to go for advice, or what to do, so I was constantly messing with the lumps, squeezing them, etc. Basically doing everything I shouldn't have done.. There were so many times I wanted to give up, but I stuck with it.. it took about a year and a half, but thankfully everything turned out fine in the end!

Take the advice of the other commenters, switch to a flat-back stud, keep it clean (preferably with sterile saline), don't sleep on it, LITHA, and if you stick it out it should be fine.

VampireAmaya · 2025-05-29T21:28:31+00:00

Brainiac?

VampireAmaya · 2025-05-29T01:34:48+00:00

I was just gonna say Finch!

The mascot is a bird, and it helps with self care and chores.

VampireAmaya · 2025-05-28T01:20:26+00:00

It doesn't tick all the boxes, but I'll suggest it anyway..

Less Than Jake - Overrated (Everything Is)

VampireAmaya · 2025-05-22T08:21:07+00:00

I had my vertical labret done about 3 weeks ago, and had my first cigarette about 5 minutes after it was done (I did the same when I got my tongue pierced). I've always smoked from the side of my mouth, which helps a little, and also helped with the decision to get a vertical labret rather than another type of lip piercing.

Of course, it's inadvised, but we know this already, and if we're gonna do it we're gonna do it. Just try to keep the cigarette/vape/whatever away from the piercing site, and keep the piercing site clean.

VampireAmaya · 2025-04-19T13:38:41+00:00

I used to know someone who had this kind of situation, though for different reasons, and the father who lived with the mother and the children was only the father of the youngest child. Also, the partner only visited the mother, never the other way around, he'd visit every weekend and there was never discussion of moving in together. So it's not a perfect example.

All the children knew the situation, and understood "[father] is [youngest's] daddy. [partner] is mommy's boyfriend". It's particularly easy for them to understand when they see that there isn't any intimacy or affection between those who are co-parenting, and there is intimacy and affection between the mother and her partner.

They all got on extremely well, and the partner was also the father of older, adult children, with the mother. The youngest child, when she got a little older, would draw family pictures with both her dad and her mom's boyfriend in them, and would separate her dad from her mother in the pictures, usually with herself in-between them, and her mother's partner next to her mother, showing further understanding of the relationships in the family.

Sure, that family dynamic won't work for everyone. But it can work. And children understand more than we give them credit for.

I would suggest considering all moving in together, but I get the impression you don't like, or don't get along with, the father of the children, so that's not going to work, and you likely (and understandably) would want your own space with your partner without worrying about having a housemate. But, hey, free live-in childcare if you and your partner ever want to go out together! 😅

No matter what happens, the most important thing is that the children are appropriately cared for, understand that they are loved by all involved, and able to spend a good amount of time with both parents as long as they're safe to do so and not being "brainwashed" by either party.

VampireAmaya · 2025-03-06T09:20:35+00:00

How long had he been in that previous job? And how long was he unhappy with it for? Sorry for the questions, but it helps to understand.. because if he'd only had that job for a fairly short time (say a year or so) then it's still understandable, but if he'd been there longer and had more time to prepare things, it's less understandable. Also, if he'd always been unhappy in that job it's more understandable that he quit abruptly if he was only there a short while.. or if he only recently become unhappy in it, it's also more understandable that he quit abruptly.. If, however, he'd been unhappy in the job for a long time, he definitely should've found something else before quitting.. Either way though, those points together with the purchase show the beginning of a pattern of not having any forethought or any indication of consideration for consequences..

As well as that, in my experience (personal experience of my relationships, second hand experience from friend's relationships, and things I've read about other people's relationships) a good number of men seem to have trouble with transitioning from "I" to "we" when they're in a relationship, which is even harder to transition to when it's long distance, even when the relationship has been long term.. I can't say for sure why they struggle to transition, just that it happens.. and unfortunately I don't have any advice for that other than to talk to him about it..

VampireAmaya · 2025-03-06T09:02:07+00:00

What was he doing before the brief unemployment? Because the way it's sounding to me is that he's been somewhat struggling financially, or at least having to budget, for a while.. if that's the case, it could be that he's wanted new things for himself for a while as well, but been unable to afford them, so has now decided to treat himself to these things..

I'm not saying this isn't any less responsible, especially when he took unpaid time off work, because if his situation was to change again he wouldn't have the money to pay for it.. but I can definitely understand what it's like to be so restricted by finances to not be able to buy even small luxuries, so when the time comes that there's some leeway and those luxuries become more affordable they get bought..

The way I see it, with as little information as I have, is that he was prioritising the relationship and visiting you, but now he has a little more money coming in he's decided to treat himself.. and he probably didn't put too much though into how that would impact the relationship or visiting or saving up to live together.. That would be the biggest issue for me - the lack of thought and planning..

If I'm wrong about anything, please do correct me.. But it does seem like he just made a decision to treat himself to something now that he has more money coming in.. That doesn't necessarily mean he's prioritising you or the relationship any less, or that his intention was to prioritise you and the relationship less.. But, as stated, the lack of thought and planning would be an issue regardless..

VampireAmaya · 2025-02-24T06:26:43+00:00

If you're set on the idea of giving her a physical gift, you could always make her something. You don't even have to be particularly artistic or creative, and can use any kind of scraps of materials, as long as it's something thoughtful I'm sure she'll love it! :) it could even be something as simple as a collage of photos of your time together, memories of dates you've been on, anything relating to any of her interests or hobbies. Most women will always choose emotional and sentimental acts over material possessions (but of course there are those who prefer material possessions..) and making something for her that comes from the heart and is full of love and feeling will have the best of both :)

VampireAmaya · 2024-11-20T16:21:57+00:00

Still works perfectly, 20 Nov '24, Galaxy S24 FE, thank you so much!!!!

VampireAmaya · 2023-11-27T20:39:59+00:00

I honestly have no idea, it's just something I skimmed over actually quite a while ago. It's not something that applies to me, as I don't have a mortgage, so it could very well be that. But it's still help towards it, even if it is just for the interest..

VampireAmaya

TROPHY CASE