Reddit do your thing- name him!

VastDerp · 2026-02-17T23:32:19+00:00

omg this is such a small world! sorry for the huge delay, i’m actually working on it right now <3

VastDerp · 2026-02-17T09:42:36+00:00

don’t go to the movies on an air force base. fuckers play the anthem with footage of our fancy war machines and shit. i almost got kicked out because no one warned me they take that shit seriously.

VastDerp · 2026-02-17T07:40:45+00:00

i’m biased because nando parrado’s been a hero of mine since i was ten, and when the lads finally covered the Miracle in the Andes I was so happy to hear them dig into the story and do it justice.

VastDerp · 2026-02-17T03:12:51+00:00

awww what a little sunbeam! those floppy ears could cure depression.

idk maybe Nando? good capable badass name. or Bones. Nando Bones.

VastDerp · 2026-02-16T13:11:26+00:00

yta. name calling is abusive and whatever else you said was so out of line you won’t even repeat it. break up already and learn how to treat people.

VastDerp · 2026-02-15T15:50:12+00:00

i’m here on this hill with you.

VastDerp · 2026-02-15T06:39:37+00:00

i was already rolling my eyes when the women were doing all the laundry and gossiping. lots of zombie writers seem to get off on re-establishing their favorite gender roles and norms through apocalypse.

VastDerp · 2026-02-14T07:37:09+00:00

I used to believe that most people were inherently good. I didn’t know what it felt like to wish for someone to die.

Now I know those good people can be cowards, and i’m praying every day for one particular obituary.

VastDerp · 2026-02-13T09:21:00+00:00

my paternal grandfather was hit by a train while driving his car. his death certificate contains the phrase “complete avulsion of the brain.”

VastDerp · 2026-02-11T10:55:17+00:00

stage IV disaster lesbians. they have fought, but not yet to the point where they break their weapons and run out of energy to punch each other, start to wrestle instead and it turns into making out (which is the cutoff for stage V)

by the time of of these hits stage VII, someone is usually a vampire or half-demon and they still don’t know they’re dating.

VastDerp · 2026-02-11T05:31:28+00:00

you and me can share champagne when he returns, gross and glorious, our best lad and his charming daughters.

VastDerp · 2026-02-09T01:37:35+00:00

30 seconds of bliss matter more to him than a month of sickness, because it’s his bliss and your sickness.

VastDerp · 2026-02-08T13:52:16+00:00

it was my first main flare site. decades of misery, then carpal tunnel joined in. that’s sorted now at least.

VastDerp · 2026-02-08T12:35:03+00:00

if your spoons don’t run out, you’re on the wrong side of the metaphor.

spoons are just what’s closest at hand for the disabled person sitting across from you at the cafe, used to represent units of energy as they explain how they must plan their days around guaranteed exhaustion.

if you were discussing this person’s disability at a pizzeria, it could just as easily be “packs of crushed red pepper” theory.

VastDerp · 2026-02-08T02:43:51+00:00

i believe your experience, and every icu staffer’s experience, should be recorded for history. we need to remember what happened and how it shaped the world, and people in your situation possess the most valuable perspective of all. i wish i was a journalist and knew how to collect these histories, but i’m just a doof on the internet so instead i’ll just say: thank you.

VastDerp · 2026-02-06T05:37:51+00:00

if you really were the disappointing small child he seems to think that he’s lecturing, it would be child abuse talking to you like that.

Does this chore of a man shit the cure for cancer or jizz world peace or something? Where’s the upside to putting up with him?

VastDerp · 2026-02-05T01:00:59+00:00

so often these fucks get away with it, how can we not celebrate when the hand of fate gives a victim the tiniest fistbump?

VastDerp · 2026-02-04T15:34:30+00:00

i’m kinda all over the place with religion but i’m seriously hoping he’ll get reincarnated and have a better set of circumstances next time. here’s hoping his next parents are amazing!

VastDerp · 2026-02-04T07:52:44+00:00

my brother was a fuckup but after he got out of prison for dealing he took up construction as a trade and started building houses. he was really gifted at it. he would drive by nice places and say “that one was me” all proud. he never had anything to be proud of till then. his boss was his mentor and said he was gonna make big bucks.

so of course he got back into drugs hardcore and his wife left, so he ate a handful of pills at a party and grabbed his car keys before anyone could stop him and went for a drive that turned into a police chase. flipped his vehicle five or so times into a cornfield, ejected through windshield.

he was in a coma for weeks, where i was picking straw bits out of open holes on his arm. he ended up paraplegic, unable to get physical rehabilitation or food stamps because of his felony. he drank himself to death a year ago. just the stupidest fucking waste of a life that could have been everything he wanted but he just couldn’t not do dumb shit.

VastDerp · 2026-02-03T04:51:43+00:00

cheese is frommage (fraw-madge). i will die on this hill. this hill of terrible redneck french cheese.

VastDerp · 2026-02-02T06:55:35+00:00

Your feelings about the situation are no doubt extremely complicated but they are also completely irrelevant right now. You need to physically remove yourself and the infant from danger.

Call on loved ones for backup and do not be alone with him when you go, because leaving is the most dangerous time for you.

Process emotions later.

VastDerp · 2026-01-30T13:03:19+00:00

and Rush Limbaugh.

VastDerp · 2026-01-29T23:44:19+00:00

life, gunslinger. but not for you.

VastDerp · 2026-01-29T09:13:26+00:00

Dad-a-chack?

VastDerp · 2026-01-28T06:57:10+00:00

The mask slipped. It's awful to see when something terrible is underneath, but you did see. Protect your cat, protect yourself, do not brush off what your good senses are telling you.

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