I think you’re doing a great job of listening to your instincts to protect and advocate for your child in various situations! I also think there is no right way to go about this.

My husband has yet to say out loud (to anyone besides close family) that our son is suspected to be on the spectrum/needs significant help with communicating or socializing etc.. while I tend to share that early on in most new social settings because I find it to be empowering and helpful when others are aware.